Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Best Captains

If Sgt. Pepper had been promoted, this would have been an easier list. At the end please tell me your favorite or who you would add that I missed.


10. Captain Jack Sparrow is the only captain on this list wearing eye liner.


9. Captain Underpants: See? Not all captains are pirates or in the military! If you’re not familiar, Captain Underpants is a series of graphic novels, sort of, aimed at the 8-12 year old boys demographic, much like my blog.

Worst picture I've ever put on #ThePhilFactor

Worst picture I’ve ever put on #ThePhilFactor

8. Captain & Tennille: A cheesy husband/wife musical duo from the 70’s. The Captains “real” name is Daryl Dragon. He and Tennille used to wife swap with Tony Orlando and Dawn.


7. Captain Morgan: Aaaand we’re back to the pirate theme. After this famous Englihman got done plundering Puerto Rico they named a rum after him.


6. Captain America: This virtuous warrior always beats Captain England in a fight.



5. Captain Hook:  That hook for a hand had to crimp his style with the ladies, but on the bright side he always had a corkscrew with him.


4. Captain and Coke: If you sneak a flask of rum into the movies in your purse or under your coat, you can buy a large coke at concessions and you’re good to go for the next two hours. It makes any movie funnier.


3. Captain Kangaroo was the main character on a terrible children’s show when I was a kid. Ironically, the show never featured an actual kangaroo, so I’m not sure who he was Captain over.


2. Captain Kirk: He was a bad ass before the phrase bad ass was invented.


1. Cap’n Crunch: I’d never disrespect the inventor of crunchberries by calling him “Captain” instead of Cap’n. Pretty sure he’d shiv me with a sharpened spoon and then use it to eat his breakfast over my cold, dead body. How’s that for a bad ass Captain?

Those are the ten best captains I could think of. Did I miss any of your favorites?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Captain Phil

20 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Best Captains

  1. Hey! No Captain Picard? No Mal Reynolds? Hmmm…. maybe there should be a top ten sci fi captain category. And Captain Morgan needs a higher rating! Lol!

  2. Captain Underpants is hysterical 🙂

  3. Captain Video & the Video Rangers! But only because Ed Norton (Art Carney) was such a fan 😃

  4. When I saw the title I just knew Cap’n Crunch had to be at or near the top of the list 😀

  5. I think you named near every name
    But for one omission be ashamed
    For of all that made the list your choosing
    Still left out poor Captain Stubing.

  6. I’ve always been kind of afraid of Captain Kangaroo…..

    But love me some Captain America.

  7. “Sir Stinks-A-Lot”?? 🙂 How about Captain Kidd who was originally sent out to capture pirates but decided to become a plunderer himself. He would have liked Captain Underpants…both kids! 😛

  8. Captain Janeway.

  9. I think you hit the top Captains. Sparrow is my favorite.

  10. Captain Crunch is the GOAT. Solid post man, I like your content!

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