The Great Netflix and Twitter Outage of 2016

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Yesterday the unthinkable happened, if only for a brief while. Both Twitter and Netflix were down for about 90 minutes thanks to a DDoS attack. Thanks? Yes. For 90 glorious minutes the human race reached its infinite potential. Without those two time wasting sites available, productivity in the United States rose by 327%. People actually showed up to work on time and when they got there, all hyped up by their morning coffee and their anxiety about the Netflix and Twitter outage, they were actually productive. In that 90 minutes without Netflix and Twitter cancer was cured and a manned space mission was sent to Mars. I think the space mission may have been an effort by millenials to see if they could get a Netflix or Twitter signal there. Seriously though, if there ever is a manned space mission to Mars, which will take 5 years to get there, there damn well better be Netflix on that flight!

@CulturedRuffian Twitter was down so I had to leave my mom’s basement & go seek validation for my horrible opinions from strangers at the mall.5:08 PM – 21 Oct 2016

When Twitter first went down it was like The Walking Dead except with stupefied people shuffling around the streets shouting out non-sequiturs that were only  140 letters long. It was great! Imagine a world were no one could blather on and on telling you some long idiotic story from a party last night that they think is far funnier than you do.

At first when the outage occurred I was worried about rioting in the streets…

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Apparently there was no rioting because those that didn’t go to work just sat home hitting refresh over and over. Teenagers everywhere also discovered that their tweeting and texting device also has an app that lets then make actual old timey telephone calls like their grandparents did back in the day.

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Ok, enough Twitter jokes. If you’re not a Twitter person because you don’t quite get the whole format, you can read my Guide To Twitter for The Non-Twits, and if you are already on Twitter and you’re not following me, why the hell not? You can find me at @ThePhilFactor of course. Have a great Saturday and feel free to hit the Tweet button below this. ~Phil

20 responses to “The Great Netflix and Twitter Outage of 2016

  1. Brilliantly funny, and very timely. I just signed up for Twitter, but haven’t figured out how to connect with anyone. @ AprilESutton1

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Didn’t even know it happened until I saw it on the news. lol I must have been elsewhere being productive 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, it brings back “the good old days” of my teenage years when we had no tv or computers, just the radio for home entertainment and each other.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Love love love! I didn’t even know about this until my hubby texted me to tell me the network at his office was down due to an attack on Netflix and Twitter. I had been on a field trip to the pumpkin patch with the kiddos. In 100 degree heat, by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Not only did it hit Twitter and Netflix, it hit our Electronic Documentation program, which threw everyone into a dither at the hospital. People were wandering around holding blank pieces of paper and saying, “What do we do with these?” I said “You get a pen, and you write things down.” This was more than they could handle.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Super funny. Unfortunately PayPal was also down at the same time which was a little more inconvenient than Netflix’s being down.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m not really a Twittering twit
    Did not notice much that it had up and quit
    But Paypal was down which hurt quite a bit
    Since a money request I had to submit
    But Facebook’s really more my thing I’ll admit
    If it had been down I’d say f***, damn and s***!

    Like

  8. Why the hell not indeed. (but I have been)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I didn’t notice. It was the wrong time of day. If Netflix went out at 9 pm? Now that would be terrible. I would have to *gasp* watch a movie from my private collection while folding laundry! #firstworldproblems

    Liked by 1 person

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