Tag Archives: twitter humor

Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Funny Tweets

Posted on June 19, 2018 | 9 comments

A lot of people say “Twitter? I don’t get it.” If you don’t get it, the easiest thing you can do is to follow these ten funny people.

https://twitter.com/TheHappySquirrl/status/953026423639429120

https://twitter.com/TheHyyyype/status/1001894569557020672

https://twitter.com/trashythisis/status/998311483384717318

Now that you’ve started your day with a laugh, have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

 

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Posted in Humor, Social Media, Top Ten Tuesday, Twitter

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280 Characters? For Donald Trump?!!? Yikes!

Posted on November 18, 2017 | 47 comments

Yes, Twitter has gone and done it this time. Donald Trump brought us to the brink of a nuclear war with North Korea using only 140 characters. What he might do with 280 is mind boggling. If you’re a little confused, here’s what I’m talking about: Since it’s creation in 2006 Twitter has limited users tweets to 140 characters or less. About two weeks ago Twitter began allowing users to use up to 280 characters.

Over the years Donald has had some really interesting tweets. I wonder how they might be different if he could have said twice as much. Let’s look at a few, shall we?

with 140 more characters Trump would go on to say: Robert you can do much better than her. Like me for instance. I’m rich and handsome. Mostly rich.

with more characters he would have likely gone on to say: But the election, that’s your fault. Well, not really your fault. Mostly the Russians, but I’m in now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sad!

Given more leeway Trump would add: I’m your new God now. All bow down to me! The Bible said Jesus was the savior. Fake news!

Some of Donald Trumps tweets to Eminem after he got elected:

If Donald could have expanded his rapping repertoire he might have also said: Don’t look back cuz my hair is whack. I’m your new Prez now and my face is orange you’re a washed up rapper who…shit, nothing rhymes with orange. Covfefe! 

With more characters available he later went back and edited the tweet to say: I don’t understand irony. My grandparents weren’t immigrants because they bought Manhattan and gave it to me. 

Not too French? Apparently Donald isn’t overly familiar with our neighbors to the North. With more characters he might have gone on to say: If I had to kiss a foreign leader it would be him. Reminds me of Robert Pattinson. 

I could do this all day. Before you go, would you mind voting in one more election? My Time To Lie book cover is up for AllAuthor.com’s Cover of The Month. I really, really need all the votes I can get to move into the top three. If you have a few seconds I’d appreciate your vote. Click THIS LINK to vote. If I win, I promise not to tweet any crazy things.

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

47 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Humor, pop culture, Social Media

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Funny Tweets

Posted on January 17, 2017 | 10 comments

Twitter-vs-Facebook1

I’m traveling this week for both vacation and work, so you get some jokes from some other funny people who don’t have blogs. If you don’t Twitter, you should try it. It’s fun! If you aren’t sure how Twitter works, read A Guide to Twitter for The Non Twits. If you want to follow me on Twitter, you can find me @ThePhilFactor

This one is the story of my life:

https://twitter.com/ChristinaLeek/status/807194785534607360

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

10 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Uncategorized

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The Great Netflix and Twitter Outage of 2016

Posted on October 22, 2016 | 20 comments

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Yesterday the unthinkable happened, if only for a brief while. Both Twitter and Netflix were down for about 90 minutes thanks to a DDoS attack. Thanks? Yes. For 90 glorious minutes the human race reached its infinite potential. Without those two time wasting sites available, productivity in the United States rose by 327%. People actually showed up to work on time and when they got there, all hyped up by their morning coffee and their anxiety about the Netflix and Twitter outage, they were actually productive. In that 90 minutes without Netflix and Twitter cancer was cured and a manned space mission was sent to Mars. I think the space mission may have been an effort by millenials to see if they could get a Netflix or Twitter signal there. Seriously though, if there ever is a manned space mission to Mars, which will take 5 years to get there, there damn well better be Netflix on that flight!

@CulturedRuffian Twitter was down so I had to leave my mom’s basement & go seek validation for my horrible opinions from strangers at the mall.5:08 PM – 21 Oct 2016

When Twitter first went down it was like The Walking Dead except with stupefied people shuffling around the streets shouting out non-sequiturs that were only  140 letters long. It was great! Imagine a world were no one could blather on and on telling you some long idiotic story from a party last night that they think is far funnier than you do.

At first when the outage occurred I was worried about rioting in the streets…

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Apparently there was no rioting because those that didn’t go to work just sat home hitting refresh over and over. Teenagers everywhere also discovered that their tweeting and texting device also has an app that lets then make actual old timey telephone calls like their grandparents did back in the day.

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Ok, enough Twitter jokes. If you’re not a Twitter person because you don’t quite get the whole format, you can read my Guide To Twitter for The Non-Twits, and if you are already on Twitter and you’re not following me, why the hell not? You can find me at @ThePhilFactor of course. Have a great Saturday and feel free to hit the Tweet button below this. ~Phil

20 Comments

Posted in Humor, pop culture, Social Media

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