Category Archives: Social Media

Welcome to Phil’s NyQuil Chicken Restaurant!

Posted on September 22, 2022 | 5 comments

NyQuil Chicken

(This is a proactive disclaimer for those who take everything waaay to seriously: This entire blog post is a joke. I am probably not seriously suggesting you do anything I say here. You’re an adult. Think for yourself.)

Does anyone remember my post from four years ago about snorting Tide Pods? This has an eerie familiarity. Yes, TikTok, the arbiter of all things cool, has brought us the NyQuil chicken challenge!  At first I wondered if bored farmers were giving their chickens NyQuil and then watched them fall asleep. Knowing famers, I was a little worried what they might do to those chickens after they fell asleep. But no, there are no victims.

People are making chicken with NyQuil and it puts them to sleep. You know what else it does? It makes people feel better when they have a cold or flu! Is that so bad? I don’t think so, which is why I’m going to open a restaurant where I’ll serve popular dishes with different medications mixed in.

What could be better than that when you’re sick? Go to a restaurant feeling lousy, have your favorite meal and you feel better later? It’s like a Walgreens Pharmacy and Red Lobster had a baby!

The Medicine Restaurant and Bar in Birmingham, England

Come in. Let me take you to your table. Have a seat. I will need your medical history before you order. We don’t want any of those pesky allergic reactions. Take a look at the menu:

All pictures are not mine and were “borrowed” from better websites than mine.

NyQuil Chicken: A beautiful chicken breast grilled with olive oil, Mediterranean spices and NyQuil. Guaranteed to satisfy your palate, relieve cold symptoms and help you get a good nights sleep.

Ritalin Redfish

Ritalin Redfish Cajun Style: Enjoy this savory sea treat with cajun spices that will wake up your tongue while the Ritalin wakes up your brain. Please consult your physician before finishing your appetizer.

Anxiety Alfredo

Anxiety Alfredo: Feeling a little anxious or over-stressed? Nothing calms my mind more than a bowl of pasta, especially when it has a little something extra soothing for your nerves. Feeling a little too gonzo? Maybe you need a little benzo. It’s what gives our alfredo that silky smooth aftertaste.

Tepezza Taco Tuesday: Problems with your thyroid? Are your eyes looking a little too big? Then stop by for Tepezza Taco Tuesday! If you’ve got two eyes you get two tacos for the price of one! (Tepezza did not give me consent to use the name of their medication.)

I’m just getting started. Wait until you see the drink menu. You don’t need to tip our waitresses but please pay your copay on the way out.

Anywho, it’s up to you if you add meds to your food, but please consult your physician and don’t take me seriously.

Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

5 Comments

Posted in Humor, pop culture, Social Media, Uncategorized

Tagged , , ,

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Funny Tweets!

Posted on November 20, 2018 | 5 comments

A lot of people say “Twitter? I don’t get it.” Sometimes even Presidents don’t get it even WHEN they THINK they DO. If you’re a President, or just someone who wants to understand Twitter better, follow these ten funny people”

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

5 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday

Tagged , , ,

Are You A Social Media Drama Queen?

Posted on September 1, 2018 | 20 comments

Are you a social media drama queen? You may not know, but we sure as hell do! Although I used the phrase drama queen, guys can be social media drama queens too. Not me of course. I’ve written this blog for over 13 years for purely educational purposes. Mostly I like to educate people when they’re being idiots.

We used to be able to worship our on screen idols, actors, actresses, athletes and musicians, from afar for years, then social media showed up and these people couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Of course, it’s not a surprise that celebrities are social media drama queens. It’s just a surprise how many of them are morons.

But I’m not here to talk about the rich and famous morons. I’m talking about the regular, used to be your friend, type of morons. The ones that think they are a social media STAR! We all know these people don’t we? You know every damn time that they leave the house because they check in on Facebook when they walk to their mailbox and then Instagram you their  breakfast.

And really, who cares that you love coffee? Guess what? billions of people have been having coffee (or tea) every friggin’ morning since the cave people figured out how to boil water. If coffee was that freaking miraculous the cave people would have painted a picture of it on some cave wall in France. That was their Instagram. And yes, I’m drinking coffee too but I don’t imagine that’s very interesting to all my social media “friends” who are also drinking coffee. Guess what? Drinking coffee is not any sort of accomplishment that needs to be lauded by your social media friends. And yes, everyone else also has a coffee mugs with a supposedly humorous comment about drinking coffee.

And what about social media friends? Those people who were strangers until they “followed” you? Are they really friends? Up until 15 years ago, if a stranger followed you, you probably went straight to the police and got a restraining order. Now we rejoice if strangers we don’t know “like” our coffee picture. My least favorite of the social media drama queens is the people that commit social media suicide. “I’ve had enough of all the mean spirited comments here on Facebook/Twitter/blog  so I’m deleting my account!” But then they come back to check comments and reply. If you’re going to leave social media, do it. Don’t come back to see how many people will say “don’t go!” Chances are you’ll be disappointed.

Have a great Saturday everybody! Give me all your love in the form of likes and comments because if you don’t I’m going to delete my account. And this time I mean it! ~Phil

20 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media

Tagged , , ,

Top Ten Tuesday: Ten Funny Tweets

Posted on June 19, 2018 | 9 comments

A lot of people say “Twitter? I don’t get it.” If you don’t get it, the easiest thing you can do is to follow these ten funny people.

Now that you’ve started your day with a laugh, have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

 

9 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Top Ten Tuesday, Twitter

Tagged , , , , ,

I Hate To Say I Told You So But… I Predicted #DeleteFacebook

Posted on April 27, 2018 | 18 comments

OK, I love to say I told you so, but I will say that I didn’t nail this one exactly or in the time frame I imagined, but I got it close enough that I’m taking credit for another correct psychic prediction.

1. Facebook will die a very sudden death. Millions will flee the social media empire when it’s revealed that the social network was started as an extension of the NSA to monitor people and collect personal data. Zuckerberg is earning approximately 10 billion a year to sell us out to the man.”

I was close. Zuckerberg was selling our data, but not to our own government. He was selling it to those that sought to influence our election and government and now, as you’ll see in many articles across the internet, millions using the hashtag #DeleteFacebook, are leaving Facebook. Zuckerberg made money selling our data and when it was discovered people left Facebook in droves. I got that right didn’t I?

Having all this psychic stuff in my head is a burden, but it would be wrong not to share my gift with the world. My next prediction is that you’ll come back here tomorrow and discover that my Saturday post is hilarious. Have a great Friday! ~Psychic Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Facebook, Humor, Social Media, Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , ,

Wordless Wednesday? Not This Week, I Need Your Votes!

Posted on April 11, 2018 | 1 comment

The Annual Blogger’s Bash Awards voting is going on now! You can vote for #ThePhilFactor for Funniest Blog by clicking HERE! You don’t even have to be a blogger. Anyone can vote! Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

1 Comment

Posted in blog, blogging, Humor, Phil, Phil Taylor, Social Media

Tagged , , , ,

Blogger Award Nominations Close Tomorrow: Do I Get A Nomination?

Posted on March 19, 2018 | 7 comments

Do I get a nomination for Funniest Blogger? Well, that’s up to you. I can’t nominate myself. The Annual Bloggers Bash Award Nominations are now open! Click HERE to find out how you can nominate me for Funniest Blogger and others for all the other great blogger categories.

Why should you nominate me for Funniest Blogger? In addition to this list of hilarious posts I published last week, I present to you the funniest top ten lists from #ThePhilFactor:

Ten Blogging Pet Peeves

Ten Reasons I won’t Date Taylor Swift

Ten Signs Your Wife is Cheating with an Amish Guy

Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope

Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Spiderman

Ten Situations That Should Be Solved By a Rap Battle

Ten Sexy Quotes From Yelp Restaurant Reviews

If you like my blog and have a minute or two, click HERE to go to the page where you can nominate me for Funniest Blogger. The nominating window closes at midnight tomorrow. If you do, thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. Have a great evening! ~Phil

7 Comments

Posted in blogging, Humor, Social Media

Tagged , , , ,

Blogger Award Nominations Are Open! Nominate me!

Posted on March 14, 2018 | 33 comments

The Annual Bloggers Bash Award Nominations are now open! Click HERE to find out how you can nominate me for Funniest Blogger and others for all the other great blogger categories.

Why should you nominate me for Funniest Blogger? Here, I would like to present to you exhibits to support my case:

1. The Poop at Home People

2. Do Drugs, Not Hugs

3. The Casino Walking Dead

4. The Afterlife To Do List

5. Me and Billie Joe Armstrong

6. The Top Ten Reasons I Won’t Date Taylor Swift

7. Top Ten Blogging Pet Peeves

8. When You Want To Kill Them Just For Chewing

Those are just a sampling of my over 1,700 blog posts. Feel free to scroll back and read them all, or click this Best Of… tab. If after reading some of my work you believe I am one of, if not the funniest blogger you’ve ever read, then I would definitely appreciate a nomination, just click HERE

Thank you for your support, and have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

33 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Uncategorized

Tagged , , , , , ,

Throwback Thursday! Facebook or FaceCrook?

Posted on February 22, 2018 | 3 comments

(02/18/17) Clever title, right? Take that Mark Zuckerberg you evil twerp. Based on that last sentence and my title I’m pretty sure that the Facebook algorithm will find a way to bury this post waaaay down people’s timelines.

icontexto-inside-facebook

We’re all doing it. Sometimes we do it in the privacy of our own home. Sometimes we do it in our cars, sometimes we even do it at work. It takes only a few minutes if you’re good at it. We “Facebook”.

‘Facebook’ has become a verb. The grandfather, or maybe I should say Godfather of social media is ubiquitous. (I like using the word ubiquitous because it sounds smart. Not when I say it of course. I sound like an idiot, but if you use it in something you write it’s one of those smart words that make your point seem a little better. Obviously, there aren’t enough smart words to help this blog out). As smart people say, I digress. (look at me go with them there smart word thingies) My point is that Facebook is almost universal. What started out 13 years ago this month as a geeky college student’s way to meet chicks (and I say chicks with the utmost respect for all chicks) has become almost a worldwide registry of humanity. Those of us that are on it think it’s weird when we find people who are not.

26_funny_pics_to_post_on_facebook_to_get_more_likes-ls

Typical conversation:

Me: Hey, can I find you on Facebook?

Other Person: No. I’m not on Facebook.

Me: Uh, what’s wrong with you? How do you talk to people?

Why am I talking about FB today? Two reasons: 1) Last night when I sat down in my recliner with a glass of wine to start writing today’s Phil Factor, I put in a Google search for “trending topics”. On one particular sites trending topics page was 9 articles about Facebook. If Facebook is the top trending topic how can I ignore it? Apparently Facebook admitted that it’s human editors suppressed articles expressing conservative views in it’s trending news feed. So of course Facebook decided to replace human editors with an algorithm to determine what news we will see on FB. Yes, people replaced by machines, again. Thank God for that. Way too many people are super annoying. I know this because I’m friends with them on Facebook.

mr-bean-facebook-comment-meme-funny-image

Some statistic somewhere says that 98.5% of people get their news from Facebook. Is it good that Facebook has a computer program deciding what news we see? Because Facebook is so universally used, their algorithm has the potential to sway public opinion. Who cares?!!? We know where to get our real, biased news if we want to. We know the liberal news shows and websites and we know the conservative news shows and websites. Get over yourselves everybody. News has been biased since the first cave painting depicting Grog taking out a woolly mammoth with a coconut. (Shocker, the mammoth actually tripped, fell and broke it’s neck. Grog is a liar. Fake news! Sad!)

After reading my last point, I guess Mark Zuckerberg isn’t really an evil twerp. He might be for other reasons, but not because his website controls the news you see. Perspective is like a telescope; you only see what you point it at. Look at a different website, like #ThePhilFactor, if you want a different view. Two paragraphs ago I said I had two reasons to talk about Facebook today. I can’t remember what the other is now. Maybe I’d better go check Facebook to see what I should be talking about.

If you all want to be ironic and vex Facebook’s algorithm you can share this to FB by hitting the share button below. Have a great Thursday!  ~Phil

3 Comments

Posted in Humor, pop culture, Social Media

Tagged , , , , , ,

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Great Tweets!

Posted on January 16, 2018 | 18 comments

I like to say things in 500-700 words. I’m not all that great at Twitter, but there are others who have mastered the short form humor. Despite the recent change to 280 characters, there are still people who are brilliantly funny with very little said. Here are some of my recent favorite, laugh out loud tweets:

If you’re one of the people that say, “I just don’t get Twitter, read THIS. You can find me on Twitter @thephilfactor. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Twitter

Tagged , , , , ,