Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons I Won’t Date Taylor Swift

I won’t. I won’t do it. No matter how much she begs or how many songs she writes, I won’t date Taylor Swift. Here’s why:

10. If Taylor Swift married me and took my name, her name would be Taylor Taylor and that’s just ridiculous. But, if she took my first name as her married surname, her name would be Taylor Phil. I might consider letting her do that. It would be great fun at party introductions. “Hi, I’m Phil Taylor and this is my wife Taylor Phil.”

9. If she and I broke up with each other she’d write songs about it and I’d write blogs about it. Does the world really need that?


8. The relationship would never work. She’d be jealous and insecure about my success. It would probably destroy her.

7. Mrs. Phil would probably kick both our asses , resulting in a lengthy and highly public trial, and I can’t go through that again.

6. Because of their well publicized feud over me, if I dated Taylor Swift I’d never get a shot with Katy Perry. (pause) Or would I?

Taylor & Katy in better times before they began fighting over me

Taylor & Katy in better times before they began fighting over me

5. She’s too tall. At 5’11’, she’s taller than me, and well… there’s all sorts of ways that would be awkward. Like at red carpet events for instance: “Hi Taylor. Melissa Rivers here from E! network. Oh wait, stop the camera. Why is your chauffeur still with you?”

4. I don’t want to get stuck supporting that one hit wonder in her old age when she’s lost her marginal good looks and blown all the money she made from that one song that did ok.

3. She’s attractive and all, but she’s no Kylie Minogue. (A little blatant pandering to my U.K. and Australian friends who’ve read this far. If you did, give me a quick shout out in the comments so I know that reference wasn’t in vain)



2.   I’m a pretty forgiving guy, but not once has Taylor’s agent called me and asked if she could be interviewed on #ThePhilFactor. I don’t pursue. I’m the pursued.

1. Taylor may be able to rhyme some catchy lyrics, but from what I’ve heard she’s a snooze when it comes to conversation. Apparently Taylor isn’t all that swift.

As always, feel free to share with your favorite Taylor Swift fan by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great Tuesday!

55 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons I Won’t Date Taylor Swift

  1. This. Is. AWESOME!

  2. Reblogged this on No Love for Fatties and commented:
    Omg! Read this!!

  3. Can. Not. Stand. Her. and totally hate that some of her songs are so catchy. Now I can’t stop thinking about you guys getting married and her being Taylor Taylor.

  4. I’d never date a Taylor Swift
    Don’t ask me why or how
    I’d rather date a Johnny Depp
    Or a purple cow.

  5. Ok, I have a love-hate relationship with T.Swift. For a really long time I hated that I loved her music so much (I gave up on that), but then I’m also like, ‘she’s a pretty good role model for little girls– at least better than, say, the Kardashian-Jenner sisters– but then she also just irks me with her motivational statements–they’re just a bit too overdone. Sorry, rant over. I do love the idea of Phil Taylor and Taylor Phil, though; the wordy nerd in me really thinks it’s funny.

  6. T Swizzle is nearly my neighbor. Well if she still lived in her hometown at least… I’m in the Katy Perry camp, however. Except I’m not digging the short blonde haircut. Who does she think she is, Miley Cyrus?

  7. Enjoyed this. Thanks, Phil

  8. G’day, mate. Yes, I’m reading this from Australia. But, why mention the singing budgie (Kylie)? You’ve ruined my day.

  9. The chauffeur one 😂😂😂

  10. As a Swiftie this is hilarious 😹😹

  11. you are very funny. i’m in australia, 7 clearly need to keep an eye on you here/represent my country re Kylie references. I’m in for a Follow, thanks, gabrielle : )

  12. 😂😂😂

  13. Jo (Fallen Angel)

    I think you’re right to steer well clear, Phil! More trouble than it’s worth 😂

  14. Haha. Love his Phil. You could her take her first name as your surname & become double barrelled. Then you’d be Phil Taylor-Taylor. And yes to no.3! Even I fancy Kylie.

  15. Hey, bloggers from across the pond aren’t the only ones to appreciate the Kylie reference. Just so happens hubby & I both adore her, so there! 😀

  16. Your mention of Kylie wasn’t in vain 🇦🇺 😊

  17. Way to maintain those standards Phil. #staystrong

  18. Hilarious post! And I’m with Gabe! Way to maintain those standards! #staystrong 🙂

  19. Surprised you didn’t mention how Kanye would react to your relationship….hehehehe

  20. Then you’d be Phil Taylor-Taylor.

  21. Then you’d be Phil Taylor-Taylor.

  22. I like the idea of Phil Taylor and Taylor Phil. I think you should put up with your objections and woo her just to make that happen!

    Also, Americans know Kylie Minogue too right? Is she only big in the UK and Aus?

  23. I love this Phil. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and if Tay is not a good fit, then she’s not a good fit.

  24. Kylie was kind of Taylor Swift long before Taylor Swift

  25. Haha this is great

  26. Kylie was kind of Taylor Swift long before Taylor Swift

  27. Kylie was variety of Taylor Swift long before Taylor Swift Kylie was variety of Taylor Swift long before Taylor Swift

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