I like to say things in 500-700 words. I’m not all that great at Twitter, but there are others who have mastered the short form humor. Despite the recent change to 280 characters, there are still people who are brilliantly funny with very little said. Here are some of my recent favorite, laugh out loud tweets:
My stomach is basically an orphanage for Sour Patch Kids
— Doug Bies (@dougbies) January 14, 2018
Big shout out to Ricky from Brighton who just thanked me because he thought he had run out of Corona but then found 6 behind the milk
Anytime Rick!
— Jesus H Christ (@ThatBloke_Jesus) January 12, 2018
“science is fake!” he typed on his phone, which is literally made out of science.
— J.B. 4Realz (@JB4Realz) January 2, 2018
Me: [2013] I don’t trust anyone I meet online
Me: [2018] last night I met someone on Twitter and we’re moving in together to become paranormal investigators
— meh (@bonehugsnirony) January 10, 2018
Me: *looks back at two sets of foot prints in the sand* Why didn’t you carry me back there?
Jesus: You were stress eating during those times and got kind of umm… *holding arms out* you know… *puffs out cheeks*
— Boog (@BoogTweets) January 10, 2018
PHARAOH: we shall build religious monuments. they will baffle future science.
SUBJECT: should we leave them a note to explain how we did it?
PHARAOH: yes, take this down
SUBJECT: ok
PHARAOH: cat, dog, snake, bird, cat, man with the head of a cat, dog, cat, bird
— rob elliott (@rockymomax) January 11, 2018
I live somewhere between, Seize the Day & it’s time for a nap.
— Freudian Scripts™ (@Freudianscript) January 11, 2018
My Sally Jessy Raphael neck tattoo gets me into all the exclusive book clubs.
— Spruce Willis (@SabotagedSmoke) January 10, 2018
My career as a karate instructor was tragically curtailed when parents found out I was wholly unqualified & just enjoyed kicking children.
— 🇺🇸Frank Whitehouse 🇺🇸 (@WheelTod) October 10, 2014
If you’re one of the people that say, “I just don’t get Twitter, read THIS. You can find me on Twitter @thephilfactor. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
Jesus H Christ is a hoot!
😂 Absolutely love every one of these. They made me do LOLs, as the kids say.
These are great! If you don’t get Twitter, you’re not following the right Twits! 😃
Jesus H Christ is one of my favorite accounts.
Because you’re so religious of course
Absolutely devoted to my lord and savior Mr. Coffee.
Great laughs, Phil!
The pharaoh one is particularly brilliant.
I thought so too
That’s hilarious; thank you so much Phil! I’m gonna go get all Twittery and find those folk… Cheers G in Australia : )
They’re all good follows! Glad you enjoyed it
There are hilarious people on twitter. That’s what got me to set up my twitter account and I used to spend a lot of time reading them. And writing twitter jokes. It is really a challenge to write something funny in 140 characters or less and many are still abiding by that restriction.
I agree. I think it’s an art form to come up with a funny joke in 140 characters
I do attest
The last is the best!
Pingback: Random/Re-blog Thursday: ‘Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Great Tweets! — The Phil Factor’ | bone&silver
Just reblogged this on bone&silver with the comment: “Hi bone&silver Folk- I just snorted out loud at this post, drinking peppermint tea in bed as the birds squawk in my Australian palm trees, so here it is, for my Random Reblog Thursday, and I hope you get a laugh too, G xO”
Thanks so much! I really appreciate the re-blog!
You are welcome : )