Tag Archives: Social Media

Are You A Social Media Drama Queen?

Posted on September 1, 2018 | 20 comments

Are you a social media drama queen? You may not know, but we sure as hell do! Although I used the phrase drama queen, guys can be social media drama queens too. Not me of course. I’ve written this blog for over 13 years for purely educational purposes. Mostly I like to educate people when they’re being idiots.

We used to be able to worship our on screen idols, actors, actresses, athletes and musicians, from afar for years, then social media showed up and these people couldn’t keep their mouths shut. Of course, it’s not a surprise that celebrities are social media drama queens. It’s just a surprise how many of them are morons.

But I’m not here to talk about the rich and famous morons. I’m talking about the regular, used to be your friend, type of morons. The ones that think they are a social media STAR! We all know these people don’t we? You know every damn time that they leave the house because they check in on Facebook when they walk to their mailbox and then Instagram you their  breakfast.

And really, who cares that you love coffee? Guess what? billions of people have been having coffee (or tea) every friggin’ morning since the cave people figured out how to boil water. If coffee was that freaking miraculous the cave people would have painted a picture of it on some cave wall in France. That was their Instagram. And yes, I’m drinking coffee too but I don’t imagine that’s very interesting to all my social media “friends” who are also drinking coffee. Guess what? Drinking coffee is not any sort of accomplishment that needs to be lauded by your social media friends. And yes, everyone else also has a coffee mugs with a supposedly humorous comment about drinking coffee.

And what about social media friends? Those people who were strangers until they “followed” you? Are they really friends? Up until 15 years ago, if a stranger followed you, you probably went straight to the police and got a restraining order. Now we rejoice if strangers we don’t know “like” our coffee picture. My least favorite of the social media drama queens is the people that commit social media suicide. “I’ve had enough of all the mean spirited comments here on Facebook/Twitter/blog  so I’m deleting my account!” But then they come back to check comments and reply. If you’re going to leave social media, do it. Don’t come back to see how many people will say “don’t go!” Chances are you’ll be disappointed.

Have a great Saturday everybody! Give me all your love in the form of likes and comments because if you don’t I’m going to delete my account. And this time I mean it! ~Phil

20 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media

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I Hate To Say I Told You So But… I Predicted #DeleteFacebook

Posted on April 27, 2018 | 18 comments

OK, I love to say I told you so, but I will say that I didn’t nail this one exactly or in the time frame I imagined, but I got it close enough that I’m taking credit for another correct psychic prediction.

1. Facebook will die a very sudden death. Millions will flee the social media empire when it’s revealed that the social network was started as an extension of the NSA to monitor people and collect personal data. Zuckerberg is earning approximately 10 billion a year to sell us out to the man.”

I was close. Zuckerberg was selling our data, but not to our own government. He was selling it to those that sought to influence our election and government and now, as you’ll see in many articles across the internet, millions using the hashtag #DeleteFacebook, are leaving Facebook. Zuckerberg made money selling our data and when it was discovered people left Facebook in droves. I got that right didn’t I?

Having all this psychic stuff in my head is a burden, but it would be wrong not to share my gift with the world. My next prediction is that you’ll come back here tomorrow and discover that my Saturday post is hilarious. Have a great Friday! ~Psychic Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Facebook, Humor, Social Media, Uncategorized

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Great Tweets!

Posted on January 16, 2018 | 18 comments

I like to say things in 500-700 words. I’m not all that great at Twitter, but there are others who have mastered the short form humor. Despite the recent change to 280 characters, there are still people who are brilliantly funny with very little said. Here are some of my recent favorite, laugh out loud tweets:

If you’re one of the people that say, “I just don’t get Twitter, read THIS. You can find me on Twitter @thephilfactor. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Twitter

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280 Characters? For Donald Trump?!!? Yikes!

Posted on November 18, 2017 | 47 comments

Yes, Twitter has gone and done it this time. Donald Trump brought us to the brink of a nuclear war with North Korea using only 140 characters. What he might do with 280 is mind boggling. If you’re a little confused, here’s what I’m talking about: Since it’s creation in 2006 Twitter has limited users tweets to 140 characters or less. About two weeks ago Twitter began allowing users to use up to 280 characters.

Over the years Donald has had some really interesting tweets. I wonder how they might be different if he could have said twice as much. Let’s look at a few, shall we?

with 140 more characters Trump would go on to say: Robert you can do much better than her. Like me for instance. I’m rich and handsome. Mostly rich.

with more characters he would have likely gone on to say: But the election, that’s your fault. Well, not really your fault. Mostly the Russians, but I’m in now and there’s nothing you can do about it. Sad!

Given more leeway Trump would add: I’m your new God now. All bow down to me! The Bible said Jesus was the savior. Fake news!

Some of Donald Trumps tweets to Eminem after he got elected:

If Donald could have expanded his rapping repertoire he might have also said: Don’t look back cuz my hair is whack. I’m your new Prez now and my face is orange you’re a washed up rapper who…shit, nothing rhymes with orange. Covfefe! 

With more characters available he later went back and edited the tweet to say: I don’t understand irony. My grandparents weren’t immigrants because they bought Manhattan and gave it to me. 

Not too French? Apparently Donald isn’t overly familiar with our neighbors to the North. With more characters he might have gone on to say: If I had to kiss a foreign leader it would be him. Reminds me of Robert Pattinson. 

I could do this all day. Before you go, would you mind voting in one more election? My Time To Lie book cover is up for AllAuthor.com’s Cover of The Month. I really, really need all the votes I can get to move into the top three. If you have a few seconds I’d appreciate your vote. Click THIS LINK to vote. If I win, I promise not to tweet any crazy things.

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

47 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Humor, pop culture, Social Media

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Throwback Thursday! Facebook Just Might Save Your Life

Posted on November 2, 2017 | 6 comments

(11/5/2016) In all likelihood, my blog is more likely to save your life, but this week a study was released implying that moderate use of Facebook leads to a longer life. That’s hard to believe, because seeing posts that say, “Only my real friends will copy and paste this into their status…” makes me want to shorten the life span of so many, many people. Oddly, I went to WebMD and it says that Facebook causes cancer. Of course WebMD says everything causes cancer. I know I have a lot of blog friends and followers in the UK. I wonder if there are cancers specific to different countries? For instance, might my UK friends be more prone to Tea & Crumpet cancer? I hope not. I’d better go check Facebook to see what it has to say on the matter.

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It seems that, according to the study, those that receive the most Facebook friend invites are social media whores more likely to have a lower mortality rate than those with fewer. How can they possibly know that? Because their account is active longer? Maybe it’s active longer because they died already without deleting their account. Maybe the people with fewer invites are actually out Facebooking in person, outside of the house, with real people. Hey, I think that’s a thing I’m going to start. Facebooking in person. When I leave the house from now on I’ll say, “See you later. I’m going to go Facebook in person with…”

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Listen Mark Zuckerberg, just slow your roll. You and your website aren’t the panacea for everything. The study was nice, but guess what? Give somebody about 6 months and they’ll find a way to identify a Facebook cancer. Also, the kids and millenials aren’t using Facebook because us “old people” (meaning anyone over 30) have ruined it. In about ten years when all the old Facebook users die off, there will be a whole generation that grew up on Snapchat, Kik, and Twitter and they won’t be using or investing in Facebook. Did I just say “millenials” back there? Ugh. I’m an awful person. Also, if I said that, I’m an old person, apparently. That is the most overused word in the world and it’s idiotic. You know who never uses the word millenials? Millenials.

The bottom line is that social interaction of any type, with millenials or anyone else, online or in person leads to a longer life, so if you want a longer life you should comment on this post and then to be ironic, and because your life just might depend on it, share it to Facebook using the share button below. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

6 Comments

Posted in Humor, pop culture, Social Media

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Facebook, or FaceCrook?

Posted on February 18, 2017 | 41 comments

Clever title, right? Take that Mark Zuckerberg you evil twerp. Based on that last sentence and my title I’m pretty sure that the Facebook algorithm will find a way to bury this post waaaay down people’s timelines.

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We’re all doing it. Sometimes we do it in the privacy of our own home. Sometimes we do it in our cars, sometimes we even do it at work. It takes only a few minutes if you’re good at it. We “Facebook”.

‘Facebook’ has become a verb. The grandfather, or maybe I should say Godfather of social media is ubiquitous. (I like using the word ubiquitous because it sounds smart. Not when I say it of course. I sound like an idiot, but if you use it in something you write it’s one of those smart words that make your point seem a little better. Obviously, there aren’t enough smart words to help this blog out). As smart people say, I digress. (look at me go with them there smart word thingies) My point is that Facebook is almost universal. What started out 13 years ago this month as a geeky college student’s way to meet chicks (and I say chicks with the utmost respect for all chicks) has become almost a worldwide registry of humanity. Those of us that are on it think it’s weird when we find people who are not.

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Typical conversation:

Me: Hey, can I find you on Facebook?

Other Person: No. I’m not on Facebook.

Me: Uh, what’s wrong with you? How do you talk to people?

Why am I talking about FB today? Two reasons: 1) Last night when I sat down in my recliner with a glass of wine to start writing today’s Phil Factor, I put in a Google search for “trending topics”. On one particular sites trending topics page was 9 articles about Facebook. If Facebook is the top trending topic how can I ignore it? Apparently Facebook admitted that it’s human editors suppressed articles expressing conservative views in it’s trending news feed. So of course Facebook decided to replace human editors with an algorithm to determine what news we will see on FB. Yes, people replaced by machines, again. Thank God for that. Way too many people are super annoying. I know this because I’m friends with them on Facebook.

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Some statistic somewhere says that 98.5% of people get their news from Facebook. Is it good that Facebook has a computer program deciding what news we see? Because Facebook is so universally used, their algorithm has the potential to sway public opinion. Who cares?!!? We know where to get our real, biased news if we want to. We know the liberal news shows and websites and we know the conservative news shows and websites. Get over yourselves everybody. News has been biased since the first cave painting depicting Grog taking out a woolly mammoth with a coconut. (Shocker, the mammoth actually tripped, fell and broke it’s neck. Grog is a liar. Fake news! Sad!)

After reading my last point, I guess Mark Zuckerberg isn’t really an evil twerp. He might be for other reasons, but not because his website controls the news you see. Perspective is like a telescope; you only see what you point it at. Look at a different website, like #ThePhilFactor, if you want a different view. Two paragraphs ago I said I had two reasons to talk about Facebook today. I can’t remember what the other is now. Maybe I’d better go check Facebook to see what I should be talking about.

If you all want to be ironic and vex Facebook’s algorithm you can share this to FB by hitting the share button below. Have a great Saturday!  ~Phil

41 Comments

Posted in Humor, pop culture, Social Media

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Friday Friends! Steve Says

Posted on July 1, 2016 | 8 comments

I know what you’re thinking, “Yaaaa! A new feature on Phil’s blog!” Don’t be weirded out. I always know what you’re thinking. Over the years I’ve become very fond of my blog friends. Blogs are like genuine slices of a person’s life. To me, without assumptions based upon looks, office politics, or personal associations, a blog is essentially someone’s personality thrown out there into the world wide web. So I’ve decided to feature one of my blog friends every Friday so that if you don’t know them, you can find someone new and interesting to read.

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This weeks feature is Steve Says, a blog created by a funny bloke from Scotland. I ‘met’ Steve maybe three years ago and his blog never fails to entertain. He always seems to be having fun. And he LOVES music. His blog is filled with funny stories from his job as an IT ninja as well as pictures of his cats. Did I mention he loves music? So much so that he has an internet radio show dedicated to it. Rather than me blathering on about it, just go read Steve’s blog and enjoy. Have a great Friday! `Phil

8 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Reasons To HATE Social Media

Posted on June 21, 2016 | 31 comments
Picture credit: thesocialskinny.com

Picture credit: thesocialskinny.com

10. Bloggers: Ugh. We all think we’re funny, or smart or interesting. Sometimes we are and often times we’re not.This doesn’t apply to me of course, and you guys are all great, really. Shhh…it’s the other bloggers I’m talking about.

9. Twitter snobs: “Oh, you just don’t understand Twitter.” Have you heard this? Really? Sorry, I didn’t realize that Twitter was so complicated. I thought it was just a bunch of dolts making jokes. How could I have been so wrong? So far I haven’t heard of anyone on Twitter curing cancer or splitting the atom. I love my Twitter, but some people think they’re worthy of deity status because of how many followers they have or how many retweets they’ve gotten. Being popular on Twitter is about as impressive as being popular in prison.

Picture credit: themetapicture.com

Picture credit: themetapicture.com

8. Pinterest: Holy crap! I seriously do not care that you pinned a new recipe on your board. What the hell? Why couldn’t you just stick it on Facebook? That’s where all the old people are anyway.

7. Facebook winners: These people think Facebook is a contest to see who has the most fabulous life. If your life is that great why don’t you go live it instead of spending all your time on Facebook?

6. Facebook whiners: Look, sharing some personal stuff is fine. It’s what bonds us together sometimes. But all the time? Hello, boundaries! Guess what? We’re not all here to be your therapist and this isn’t group therapy. Suck it up and pay a professional.

5. The selfie: Truth be told, I’ve taken a few selfies in my time, but in general you just look desperate for attention.

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4. Social media insecurity: Do I have enough followers? Did I get enough likes and comments? I don’t remember, how did we measure our self-worth before social media? That’s right, we didn’t. We just lived our lives and tried to buy a better car than our friends.

3. Time: We all had more of it before social media. Before social media, man went to the moon and found a cure for polio. What have we done since social media? Mostly stupid stuff like drones delivering pizza and inventing the selfie. Seriously though, how cool would a selfie on the moon be? You could have the Earth over your shoulder…Neil Armstrong was a moron for missing that opportunity. He’d probably be more remembered for inventing the selfie.

2. I have to network on LinkedIn: Up until about 5 years ago I had my job, I did it and if I didn’t like it I sent a resume’ somewhere. Now it’s all about networking! Who do you know? Where do you know them from? Who am I connected with? Who are my friends connected with? Who will endorse me? Jeez, work has become work outside of work.

1. Somebody said something mean about…my blog post, my Facebook update, my picture, my political opinion that I voiced, blah, blah, blah, wah, wah, wah. Everyone has an opinion and now they get to broadcast it. There’s people I used to like in real life, and then I became privy to their opinions on everything through social media.

What are your pet peeves about social media?

Ironically, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter or reblog button below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

31 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Twitter

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Laugh Out Loud Funny Tweets

Posted on March 29, 2016 | 28 comments

If you’re not on Twitter yet, what are you waiting for? Twitter is the best comedy club and collection of evil geniuses in the world and there’s no cover charge.

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@LADaddy: It’s not fair. Straight girls can flirt with other girls. I lick one guy’s ear and suddenly I’m uninvited to the fantasy baseball draft.

@AGreaterMonster: I might not be performing the stripper routine this funeral wants…but it’s the one it needs.

@Alex_N_Chains: The ironic thing about the original Scooby Doo adventures was that the only real supernatural phenomena they encountered was a TALKING DOG.

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@Marcmywords2:  You know you’ve had a pretty good week, when the Priest has to excuse himself in middle of your Confession to go Google something.

@FlyJ_: Ugh! I’m not mad at you. -Women when they’re mad at you.

@Ms_WhateverV: Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch “Was it all fun and games up to that point?”

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@1KelliBelle: My therapist said I have acute personality disorder. I was like I know, right?

@adyaces: We named our daughter after my wife. Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow

@thephilfactor: People inside a McDonalds inside a Walmart full of Walmart people is like a giant white trash turducken.

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@ruinedpicnic: OLYMPIC JUDGE: the routine was good but we were forced to take away points because you shouted ‘watch this shit motherfuckers’ at the start.

Sorry about the salty language in that last one, but I thought it was so funny I couldn’t not put it in the list. Twitter can be overwhelming at first, but you can tailor your feed to give you what you like. I like funny people and people who follow my blog. If you haven’t done Twitter yet, read this Guide to Twitter for the Non-Twits before you jump in. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

28 Comments

Posted in Humor, Social Media, Twitter

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What Does Your Selfie Say About You?

Posted on October 17, 2015 | 12 comments
loyoladigitaladvertising.wordpress.com

loyoladigitaladvertising.wordpress.com

Are you a selfie person? What does being a selfie person say about you? Is it good? Is it bad? What do you think of other people’s selfies? What do you want people to think about yours? Have I asked enough rhetorical questions yet? Don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical.

Ellen DeGeneres group Oscar selfie

Over the last ten years we’ve become a selfie culture. Some say that it’s rooted in our insecurities and need to be validated by others. I say it’s because we got cameras in our phones you morons. I’m pretty sure all those people in that photo above this aren’t insecure and seeking validation from others. As a culture, humans have always been a “Look at me! Look at what I did!” culture. Cave paintings were the first selfies weren’t they? Cavemen and women showing how awesome they looked when they killed a mastodon.  Look at all the hieroglyphics on Egyptian pyramids. Selfies all of them. Heck, the Egyptian kings had statues made of themselves. That’s the best selfie ever.

Guess what? I don’t think selfies are bad, except of course when people die taking selfies because they’re not paying attention to what they’re doing. And yes, of course more people die from taking selfies than from shark attacks. Duh! Niether the sharks nor the swimmers have their cameras with them, usually.

dazeddigital.com

dazeddigital.com

Selfies are not a sign of insecurity. We’re not a culture of solo people living side by side. We’re meant to interact and get reactions from those around us. That need is hardwired into our brain. Selfies are just another modern way to let people know that we’re there.

I don’t take a lot of selfies myself, but I think they’re great, unless you’re an idiot. Why the heck can’t we celebrate ourselves? And if you’re a self-esteem challenged person, why can’t you feel good when you get 52 likes on your selfie at the Rick Astley concert? Here’s what I’d like to propose: a Worldwide Selfie Day. Let’s celebrate ourselves and the awesome human race with a day where we all say “Look at me world!” Everyone who can will post a selfie on some social media that day.

I’m not crazy right? This is a good idea isn’t it? I don’t know how to get this rolling or how to get a politician to sponsor something to get the declaration, but I’m serious. How fun would that day be? By all means if you have ideas on how to make this happen, please put them in the comments. If you don’t have ideas but love the idea, please share this post by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below so we can get some momentum. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

12 Comments

Posted in Humor, pop culture, Relationships, Social Media

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