No Hush Money? Then It’s Fun With Search Terms!

Fortunately Donald Trump hasn’t paid me money to keep my mouth shut, so I’m going to publish this. Fun with Search Terms is my quarterly post reminding you that whatever crazy thing you use Google to search for, someone somewhere is reading it. These are the ten best, funniest, weirdest search terms that have brought people to #ThePhilFactor in the last three months.

10. Do sociopaths give off an oder: I don’t know if anyone gives off an oder but sociopaths might give off an odor. And I’m marketing that odor as a new Axe Body Spray: Scent of a Sociopath! Then again, all Axe body sprays smell like that, don’t they?

That’s me in the crystal ball. I’m not the lady

9. Predictions in the phil predictions predictions for 2018: I predict that the person who typed this into Google will have employment challenges for the rest of their life.

8. Real sexting conversations to read in Hindi: I don’t read or write Hindi, but many of my readers apparently do. I’m thinking that if I start a second blog about Hindi sexting it might be more popular than this one.

7. kizss feetcanada: Who doesn’t love kissing Canadian feet? Am I right?

6. butt and boobs: I only have one of these two things. Or is it three things?

5. if life was like facebook: Wow! That’s a horror movie idea if I’ve ever heard one.

4. pickup line about being psychic: In addition to my Hindi dating website, I’m now adding a dating service for psychics, but of course, they already knew that.

3. extra loud laughers: Well, I certainly hope that’s all of you. Extra loud laughing is ok to a point, isn’t it? At a certain point too much extra loud laughing verges into maniacal Joker like laughing, doesn’t it?

2. I want to kill people when they chew food: Seems like Google should reverse search this term and send the authorities to this persons house. Really? Food chewing put you over the edge? There are so many more petty reasons to hate so many people!

1. phil taylor american idol: While the title is apt, the season of the new American Idol airs tomorrow and I’m contractually bound not to say anything about the outcome. (Psst…I totally win)

So what are the funniest or weirdest search terms you’ve ever seen?

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

37 responses to “No Hush Money? Then It’s Fun With Search Terms!

  1. I’m going to have to go look at mine! 😂

  2. Well, I’ve never looked at my search terms as a whole till just now and holy f***! We have a lot of sick puppies out there! Aside from the 2 search terms that were written in Arabic, I had terms such as “I have srx with my sister”, “big ass women”, “sister hot sex”. And I guess when sister hot sex produced nothing, they flip-flopped and searched with “sex sister hot”. WTF? This post has inspired me so I may have to do a post evaluating my terms too. And Phil, I have’t even noted some of the scariest. My God!!! This is an eye opener.

  3. My laugh was verging on the edge of maniacal throughout this entire post. 😆

  4. You crack me up with these search phrases! You couldn’t make this stuff up! 😊

  5. My smile for the morning. Would be great if people who were angry gave off a scent and we could just avoid them for the day (period). You must be up early to post this as just after 8 here!

  6. So funny. I am sure I’ve done a few really weird sounding google searches myself. I’ll be sniffing about in case there are any sociopaths nearby!

  7. Because I was curious and have never checked before I must confess that no one seems to search for my blog! I have only one strange search term: grandma with alcohol picture. I don’t know where that comes from, but i like it. i can’t decide if your funny post that did make me laugh too loud in a silent house is the best part of my day, or the worst given that now I feel like a loser with no searchers.

  8. Strangely interesting 🙂

  9. I’m not sure that Axe body spray smells like a sociopath, but it sure does make me want to be an Axe murderer! I cannot stand that obnoxious spray and neither can my noise which goes into Itch over-drive. I shall ax all the Axe cans!

  10. Scent of a Sociopath is a winning idea for Axe. I hope they pay you well. Mine was “Do spiders hold grudges?” Well, Internet Search Artist, Yes. Yes they do. And if you piss off one, you’ve pissed off them all. And, sidenote, I don’t want to alarm you, but did you know that 100% of homes have spiders, according to scientific data? Did you know that if all the spiders in the world joined together they could consume all of humanity? It’s true. I read it on the internet.

  11. LOL. Have a great Saturday too, Phil

  12. I once had a referral to my blog on a piece of writing with said referred term as “fat man sex”

    Rather curious for me as said rotund fellow was a rather solitary chap with the power of foresight and haunted by demon.

    I suspect the undisclosed person searching these terms was a tad disappointed!

  13. So I just checked mine after laughing at yours (far too loud) and stand outs are “no urge to pee” and “hillbilly heroin” – says so much about my ramblings!!!

  14. “Wild boar droppings”

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