Tag Archives: rain humor

People are people so why should it be that you and I should get along so awfully?  Well Depeche Mode, I’ll tell you why it should be. It’s because most of those people are either stupid or egregiously ego-centric, or probably both. Over the past two weeks I’ve traveled for work and then went on a vacation. The one constant between these two trip has been people. Mostly stupid people.

Walk This Way

A lot of people seem to have trouble walking. Not physical trouble, mind you. They’re up and walking about, but they walk like arrogant, self-centered jerks. You know that saying, Dance like no one is watching ? A lot of people walk like no one is in their way. Whether it be on a city street or at Epcot in Disney World, Last week at Epcot I wanted to punch at least thirty people in the throat because they just walked right at me in a stupor as if there was no one else in the world. Morons! They fix their eyes on on the burrito stand in Mexico Epcot and it’s full steam ahead in a direct line for their destination. If there is a short fence in front of these people they’d probably fall right over it. In a post from the distant past I referred to these as Hamster Ball People

We needed this rain

I was in Florida and on Tuesday I went to Epcot. About 5 minutes after I got there, the skies opened up as if Noah had just finished boarding all the animals.  Then the rain didn’t stop for at least 2-3 hours. The workers at Epcot were not in the least helpful. As I sloshed  from building to building in my waterlogged shoes I must have heard at least twenty of them say “This is good. We needed this rain. It’s been so dry.” I was tempted to scream at them, “NO! No WE didn’t need THIS RAIN! It’s my vacation! I come to Florida for sunshine and warmth! Everyone does. Shut up about the rain! Your only purpose in life when you live in Florida is to serve the tourists, and we don’t want ANY. FECKING. RAIN!!! These people also deserved a good throat punch, but since I was in the costliest happiest place on Earth, I didn’t do that.

The Doomsday Clock: So this is a fun game. Just in case you weren’t aware, since World World II, the members of The Bulletin of Atomic Scientists have a clock that only they can adjust the time on and it’s sole purpose is to estimate how close the human race is to exterminating themselves. So last week, amidst the Trump/Russia/South Korea posturing, they moved the clock thirty seconds closer to midnight. Look at that picture. These guys look like loads of fun! They must have been thrilled to be in the news. For scientists though, their production quality leaves a lot to be desired. That’s it? That’s their graphic? A piece of cardboard? In about 5 minutes, 90% of all second grade children could have whipped up a kick ass power point with animated graphics. Oh, and scientists, thanks for your information. I believe that I spoke for all humankind a few weeks ago when I posted Hey Scientists! Shut The H#LL Up!

Well, that was my week. How was yours? Have a great Saturday! ~Phil