Even good artists write bad lyrics sometimes. Here are ten of the worst:
10. Nickelback, Figure You Out: “I love your pants around your feet… You’re like my favourite damn disease.” Not a shock that Nickelback made the list, right? Seriously, who has a favourite disease ?
9. Puff Daddy feat. Mase, Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down: ““Young, black and famous – with money hanging out the anus.” Does he even know how money works? This is exactly why they say money isn’t clean and you shouldn’t put it in your mouth.
8. The Beatles, Ob La Di, Ob La Da: “Ob la di, ob-la-da, life goes on, bra” Thanks genius philosophers. That was helpful.
7. Stone Temple Pilots, Plush: “When the dogs begin to smell her, will she smell alone?” If she’s that smelly, maybe some sort of intervention…
6. R. Kelly, You Remind Me of Something: “Girl you look just like my cars, I want to wax it” R. Kelly has a way with words. I’m sure the ladies like being compared to a car.
5. Kaiser Chiefs, Oh My God: “You work in a shirt with your name tag on it, drifting apart like a plate tectonic.” At least it rhymes. Apparently he has a problem with name tags. How does he order at McDonald’s?
4. Prince, Supercalifragisexy: “Keep the blood flowing down to your feet, Brother Lois will be around in a minute, with a bucket filled with squirreled meat.” Not only does the not sound good, that lyric is anything but supercalifragisexy. Raise your hands, who here wants to be presented with a bucket of squirreled meat? I didn’t think so.
3. Deep Purple, Highway Star: “She’s got everything – like a moving mouth, body control and everything.” They nailed it. Those are exactly the qualities I find attractive in a woman. My standards are not very high.
2. Queen, Bicycle Race: “You say ‘black’ I say ‘white’. You say ‘bark’ I say ‘bite’. You say ‘shark’ I say ‘hey man ‘Jaws’ was never my scene!’” This is apparently a transcript from Freddie Mercury’s therapy session.
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Around The World: “Bonafide ride, step aside my johnson. Yes I could in the woods of Wisconsin.” That’s maybe one of the best haikus ever, but nobody sings about Wisconsin.
Those weren’t in any particular ranking order, but they are all epically bad. What are the worst song lyrics you can think of? Please add them in the comments and if there’s enough I’ll put out another list and link to the contributors. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil