Tag Archives: Music

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Worst Song Lyrics Ever

Even good artists write bad lyrics sometimes. Here are ten of the worst:

10. Nickelback, Figure You Out: I love your pants around your feet… You’re like my favourite damn disease.” Not a shock that Nickelback made the list, right? Seriously, who has a favourite disease ?
9. Puff Daddy feat. Mase, Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down: ““Young, black and famous – with money hanging out the anus.” Does he even know how money works? This is exactly why they say money isn’t clean and you shouldn’t put it in your mouth.

8. The Beatles, Ob La Di, Ob La Da: “Ob la di, ob-la-da, life goes on, bra” Thanks genius philosophers. That was helpful.

7. Stone Temple Pilots, Plush: “When the dogs begin to smell her, will she smell alone?” If she’s that smelly, maybe some sort of intervention…

6. R. Kelly, You Remind Me of Something: Girl you look just like my cars, I want to wax it” R. Kelly has a way with words. I’m sure the ladies like being compared to a car.

5. Kaiser Chiefs, Oh My God: You work in a shirt with your name tag on it, drifting apart like a plate tectonic.” At least it rhymes. Apparently he has a problem with name tags. How does he order at McDonald’s?

4. Prince, Supercalifragisexy: Keep the blood flowing down to your feet, Brother Lois will be around in a minute, with a bucket filled with squirreled meat.” Not only does the not sound good, that lyric is anything but supercalifragisexy. Raise your hands, who here wants to be presented with a bucket of squirreled meat? I didn’t think so. 

3. Deep Purple, Highway Star: “She’s got everything – like a moving mouth, body control and everything.” They nailed it. Those are exactly the qualities I find attractive in a woman. My standards are not very high.

2. Queen, Bicycle Race: “You say ‘black’ I say ‘white’. You say ‘bark’ I say ‘bite’. You say ‘shark’ I say ‘hey man ‘Jaws’ was never my scene!’” This is apparently a transcript from Freddie Mercury’s therapy session.

1. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Around The World: “Bonafide ride, step aside my johnson. Yes I could in the woods of Wisconsin.”  That’s maybe one of the best haikus ever, but nobody sings about Wisconsin.

Those weren’t in any particular ranking order, but they are all epically bad. What are the worst song lyrics you can think of? Please add them in the comments and if there’s enough I’ll put out another list and link to the contributors. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! My 10 Favorite One Hit Wonder Songs

Usually one hit wonder songs seem like the greatest musical discovery in our lives for a few months and then they fade away, only to later embarrass us when someone discovers them in our music collection and mocks us. Here are 10 of my favorite one hit wonder songs. What are some of yours? I’d love to hear them in the comments.

10. Your Love by The Outfield. This was an 80’s classic and we all know the lyrics by heart. Oddly, one of my sons recently discovered The Outfield and loves the entire album.

9. Good Vibrations, Marky Mark and The Fun Bunch, 1991 No video here because I’m sure you all know this one. I wonder if The Fun Bunch is having as much fun now that Marky Mark has moved on to bigger and better things.

8. Somebody That I Used to Know, Gotye, 2011

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7. Who Let The Dogs Out? Baha Men, 2000  This song is a particular favorite of mine because of something that happened in a courtroom, one of the greatest moments in legal history, when I was on a jury in 2015. Here is what happened:

This is an actual exchange I witnessed in the courtroom between a cross examining defense attorney and a sworn under oath witness:

Attorney: So, you let the dogs out?

Witness: Yes.

When I heard that, I couldn’t help but smirk and I looked around at my fellow jurors and no one else seemed to have gotten the joke. I’ve never been more disappointed in a group of human beings in my life.

6. Stacy’s Mom, Fountains of Wayne, 2003 I find it impossible not to sing along. If you want to hear the song, don’t be afraid. The video is appropriate.

5. 1985, Bowling For Soup, 2004 Truth be told, I think I may have all this bands songs in my collection and they’re all hilarious. This one is the catchy and funny story of a suburban soccer mom who despises her minivan and wishes she were back in 1985 so that she might have a chance to “shake her ass on the hood of Whitesnake’s car.” Look it up and add it to your collection. You’ll thank me.

4. Jump Around, House of Pain, 1992  I first heard this song in a Pringles commercial in the 90’s. Here it is:

3. Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Deep Blue Something, 1996. I owned the cassette tape of this one long after I should have been buying cassettes.

2. Common People, William Shatner and Pulp, 2004. Pulp originally released this song on their own in 1995. When they re-released with Captain Kirk chipping in, it took them to new heights. If you don’t know it, give it a listen:

Gangam Style, Psy 2012. One of the weirdest most popular songs ever. The crazy video still cracks me up.

There is the Top Ten of one hit wonder songs that are actually in my music collection. So tell me in the comments, what are your embarrassing, dirty little secret one hit wonders that you sing aloud when you’re alone in your car?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Funniest Songs I Know

Chances are that you don’t know many of the artists or songs on this list, but if you want to add something new to your iPhone that will bring a smile to your face when it comes on unexpectedly, I strongly recommend these songs. I’ve excluded parody songs. I’ve provided links to the Youtube videos so you can play them while you read blogs. (Warning: some songs may contain PG-13 language or themes)

10. 88 Lines about 44 Women by The Nails: This song is peppy, upbeat, and from the 80’s but stands the test of time. It’s still in my collection. Video

9. Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne: This is “Mrs. Robinson” for a new generation.

8. King of Spain by Moxy Fruvous: A hilarious and underrated Canadian band from the 1990’s. Video

7. Chicks Dig It by Chris Cagle: Just so you don’t think I only listen to obscure alternative music I threw in a country song: Video

6. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot: An ode to well…you know. Video

5. The Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang: A ditty honoring sexual euphemisms. If you are easily offended, don’t listen. Video

4. Pretty Fly for a White Guy by The Offspring: The hilarious and true story of my life. Video

3. Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths: An amazingly peppy and upbeat song considering the topic. Video

2. Connecticut is for F—— by Jesus H. Christ and The Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse: This always makes any list of my favorite songs of any kind. There was no official video. The one I’ve linked to looks home made. Video

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1. Pantera Fans in Love by Nerf Herder: Truth be told, this band could have placed several songs on the list. This isn’t the funniest oone, but the other was so inappropriate that I chose not to sully #ThePhilFactor with it. Video

As always, it’s tough limiting these lists to ten. What are some of your favorite funny songs?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

#TopTenTuesday

Music Monday! A Game of Tag

I was tagged by Elle of The Road To Elle to change up my Music Monday. Instead of posting a video of new music that I like, I’m going to answer lots of questions about my musical taste and then tag some folks to join in.

The rules are simple. Answer the questions, tag the person that tagged you (www.thephilfactor.com) and tag some friends to answer! Simple, huh?

A song that reminds me of home: Talk To You Later by The Tubes

Five songs that are must-haves for a road trip:

Banditos by The Refreshments (One of my favorite songs ever)

You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC

My Own Worst Enemy by Lit

Pretty Fly For a White Guy by The Offspring

Basketcase by Green Day

A song that inspires me: I got nothin’

A song that puts me in a good mood: It’s Nice To Be Alive by Ballpark Music. (the video above this paragraph) If you want a song to cheer you up, give this a listen. Any day, anywhere, this will put you in a good mood.

A song I know all the words to: Your Love by The Outfield   Who doesn’t know the words to this? Josie’s on a vacation far away. Come around and talk it over…

A song that annoys me: Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da by The Beatles. Yes, The Beatles made a bad song. It’s nonsense lyrics. And guess what? The Beatles may be the best band ever, but they made a lot of crappy songs too.

A song I used to like but don’t anymore: I’m loyal. If I liked a song once I always like it.

A song I thrashed and A song I like to play loud: Song 2 by Blur I combined these two questions into one because the answer was the same. This song I turn all the way up to 11 when it comes on in the car.

A song that makes me want to dance: Handclap by Fitz and The Tantrums

There were a few more questions, but I’m out of time this morning. So, without further adieu, I’m going to tag five people:

Christine of I’m Sick and So Are You

John of JohnHowell.com

Hayley of Just Another Blog From a Woman

James of The Next Iteration

Dorinda of Night Owl Poetry

If you’ve read this far, you are obviously an incredible human being and I would love your help in winning the AllAuthor.com book Cover of The Month Contest. If you have a second could you just click THIS LINK and click vote for my cover. You can vote once a week. Have a great Monday! ~Phil

Music Monday! Ellie Goulding & Kygo covering Harry Styles

Have a great Monday! ~Phil

The Golden Boys Playlist

My life has a soundtrack. Although I have nearly zero musical ability, I am an avid music listener and concert goer. In my head, many of my happiest memories in life are attached  to the songs that were playing when the memory occurred. It’s never been a conscious effort on my part to pair memories with music,  it just happens. It’s a wonderful time machine. I hear a song on the radio and suddenly my imagination takes me  somewhere years ago with my friends. On my own, I’m all about modern alternative rock, but when I’m with The Golden Boys we hop in the Way Back Machine and fire up the songs from our youth. My life-long friends and I are together this weekend and when we’re together music is always on in the background. Here is The Golden Boys playlist:

Crazy Train: Ozzy Osbourne

Back in Black: AC/DC

Fantasy: Aldo Nova

Your Love: The Outfield

Just Between You and Me: April Wine

Fight For Your Right To Party: The Beastie Boys

The Safety Dance: Men Without Hats

Don’t Fear The Reaper: Blue Oyster Cult

The Stroke: Billy Squier

Sunglasses At Night: Corey Hart

One Thing Leads To Another: The Fixx

I Want You To Want Me: Cheap Trick

Come On Eileen: Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Jukebox Hero: Foreigner

Simple Man: Lynyrd Skynrd

If you have a cell phone and go out to bars occasionally you should get the TouchTunes app. For a very small fee the app lets you choose the music for the jukebox in whatever bar that has it. Whenever The Golden Boys go out, we are happy to pay to have our music played all night long. If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy my novel White Picket Prisons, available on Amazon in paperback or e-book. So what songs are on the playlist of your life?

Have a great Sunday! ~Phil

Wordless Wednesday: Green Day Gallery

You can also head over to my Instagram to see more pictures . @thephilfactor. Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil