The voting for the Annual Bloggers Bash Awards is now open! I’m honored and touched that someone nominated me for Funniest Blogger. Now that I’m nominated, I’d really like to win it to help my 2018 goals of also winning Sexiest Man Alive. I want one of the two, but only you can help me in this on. When you click the link that I’ll provide, I’d appreciate it tremendously if you go to the Funniest Blogger category and scroll down the category, and click on The Phil Factor. Click HERE to vote!
10. Going about your normal day you have a random thought that is followed, without pause, by the thought, “I’ll have to put that on my blog.”
9. Your hear a joke or see a movie and you think to yourself, “I’ll bet IdahoBlogWoman274 would think that was funny.”
8. You use your work computer for blogging more than working.
7. You actually think that your thoughts, life, or ideas are so interesting that you’ve got more than one blog.
6. You’ve upgraded, your computer so that you can blog better, whatever than means.
5. The word “blogiversary” is now part of your vocabulary.
4. You like people in the blog world better than the ones in the real world.
3. When you go on a family vacation you take your laptop with you and berate every helpless desk clerk unfortunate enough to work for a hotel with a bad internet connection.
2. Your draft folder has more posts than you’ve actually published.
1. You think that you’re so important that you include you’re own name in the title of your blog as if people will think to themselves, “Holy s#@t! A blog by Phil! I’d better go read that!”
I’m guilty of many, but not all of these, and I know some of you are guilty of others in this list. Feel free to add some of you’re own in the comments. I’d love to hear them. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
Blogging, for those who can’t find enough friends to complain to on Facebook! Let’s face it, we’re bloggers. We blog. We’re part of what larger society regards as a bunch of odd balls. I suppose it’s possible that some of us are odd balls, loners in their mom’s basement, or crazy people. (yes, I’m looking at you) But then, there’s the rest of us. I’ve blogged long enough to see that although we’re all bloggers, there are sub-groups among us. Stereotypes, if you will. Are you one of them?
The “Humor” Blogger: I figured that if I’m going to offend some of my blogging friends, I might as well start with myself: There’s lots of humor bloggers and none of us are ever as funny as we think we are. I know that when I, and my fellow humor bloggers, have penned a sarcastic masterpiece of social commentary and with an exaggerated flourish and the sound of angels in our heads, triumphantly hit Publish, we sit back with a satisfied smile waiting for our readers to fawn upon our comedic genius in the comments. What really happens is: check stats, sigh, refresh, ugh, still only ten views? “What is wrong with people? This is hilarious! I shared to Facebook, but it’s been an hour. It’s way down peoples feeds. I’d better post it again. I know they don’t want to miss my Saturday post.”
The ‘I’m Writing a Book‘ Blogger: Occasionally I may fall into this category too, but others don’t just fall into this category, they burst right out of it. Repeatedly. What’s that? You’re a blogger and you’re writing a book? I’ve never heard of such a thing! Could you please mention it on your blog, daily, so we never forget? And please, by all means, tweet about it too. What’s that? It’s your first novel and you’re on the twenty-seventh revision so you can get it just right before sending to a publisher. Please tell us more!
The Music Blogger: Yes, we get that you know more music than us and all of your friends. No, we don’t want to hear the ‘B side’ of Vanilla Ice’s little known folk rock album released just last year.
The Blogging Expert Blogger: What? You have ten thousand followers? Yes, please write another post about Search Engine Optimization so I get more views on my blog. And by all means, make it a list of 99 Ways To…
The Fashion Blogger: Pictures of new clothes you’re buying? I can’t get enough! You’re so chic and your lifestyle is so glamorous! What?!!? You have an Instagram with millions more pictures of you in clothes? Be still my beating heart! Why aren’t there guy fashion blogs?
The Mommy Blogger: You have kids and they’re funny and you write stories about their adorable antics? How unique! You should write a book! And please add in how you’re trying to lose the baby weight and tell us about your workout routine!
Well, which stereotype are you? Are there stereotypes I missed? Put your suggestions in the comments and have a great Saturday! ~Phil
Hi. My name is Phil and I’m a blogger. (Everyone else in the “blogosphere” replies “Hi Phil!”) Yes, if I’m being painfully honest with myself, I’m a blogger. I’ve been a blogger for over nine years. I took to it like a fish to water. Just because I do it doesn’t mean that I love everything about it. Thank you to Nerd in The Brain for the idea for today’s Top Ten list. Go visit her. She has a great blog. Without further adieu, here are my Top Ten Peeves about blogging:
10. Blog Awards: Let’s get this one right out of the way now. It’s not an award if it requires you to do anything you normally wouldn’t, like turn around and give it to fifteen other people. There’s no other awards in life that require you to do work. “And the Oscar for Best Actress in a Drama goes to Meryl Streep, but only if she can name fifteen other actors that deserve it!”
9. Everything has a blog: Have you noticed that just about everything on TV claims it has a blog? Products in commercials have blogs. New programs have blogs. Every celebrity has a “blog.” Blogs aren’t blogs if a marketing department creates them and manages them.
8. Everyone can have a blog: Yeah, I know that’s kind of the point, but there’s got to be some sort of screening process. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean that you should.
7. Blogs that are too long: Yup, I’m well aware that we all have unique life stories, and I want to hear yours, but not if I have to clear my plans for the evening to read your blog post. I want to hear your life story in bite sized pieces. Think of blogging like a party you go to. Nobody likes the person who traps you in the corner near the bathroom to tell you everything about their life. In the blogosphere I like to move about the party meeting many new and interesting people.
6. Blogging terms: Blogosphere, blogiversary, blogiverse, re-blog. Are any of these real words? Are they in a real dictionary somewhere? I feel like an idiot using them, but I have to because everyone here understands them.
5. Blogs without pictures: Words are good, but c’mon, brighten that up with a little eye candy! That’s why I have that picture of me at the top left. You’re welcome.
4. Fake profile pictures: Unless you’re blogging about something super personal or “adult” why hide your identity? How am I going to stalk you in real life if I can’t recognize you?
3. Blogs about boring stuff: Hate those.Please stop writing them. No, not you. Don’t you hate when someone boring follows you and comments on all your posts and so you feel obligated to visit and comment on their blog occasionally, but it is just the worst blog ever? Thank God this doesn’t apply to anyone I follow. You guys and gals are great as chips.
2. Blogs that don’t post their own thoughts: An inspirational picture or quote is nice now and then, but if that’s all a blog is, what’s the fun in that? I like to read little, genuine slices of people’s lives. I don’t care what Ghandi said fifty years ago. If I did I’d read his blog. Speaking of that, he hasn’t posted in a while. What’s up with that?
1. Animated GIF’s: You know the ones, right? It’s literally a two second video clip that repeats endlessly. It’s nearly seizure inducing like a strobe light. Nothing is that funny in two seconds.
As always, everything here is meant in good humor with no malice intended. In the comments, what are your blogging pet peeves?
As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor feel free to share by Facebook, Twitter, or re-blogging! Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor.