Pic courtesy of ESPN
Memphis Grizzlies player Ja Morant has been in trouble for his “finger guns” before. In 2023 he was suspended from playing in the NBA twice for posting pictures on social media of him brandishing a real hand gun. Now he’s getting heat from the league for using a “finger guns” gesture after hitting shots in basketball games. I was all in on the suspensions for him as a public figure and public face of his team posting the gun pictures. That definitely deserved penalties. But I’m not so sure that brandishing “finger guns” in a game deserves it. What do you think? Yes, he’s showing up his competitors after making a shot, but so many players do that on a regular basis, and others have used the “finger guns” before.
See? Even European futbol players are doing fingers guns. Is it a bad thing? Back when I was a youth in school, I was on the track team. I won some races now and then. When I was 16, finger guns wasn’t a thing. But if it was, I guarantee you that at least once when I won a race, I’d turn around after breaking the tape and fire off some finger guns at my vanquished opponents. Would that be so bad? I also know that after I fired my finger guns I would also blow the smoke off the end of the barrel. Would that have been so bad?
When Ted Lange invented finger guns in the late 70’s we loved it.
For your enjoyment, here are the ten best times to use finger guns:
10. For your author picture on the inside cover of your next book. Mark my words folks…
9. At the end of surgery or any medical procedure really, and especially at the end of a colonoscopy or ob/gyn visit. If someone is mucking about in my private parts I want them to be confident about it.
8. Walking down the aisle after tying the knot. We’ve seen far too many wedding parties dance down the aisle to Pharrell’s Happy. How about if the bride and groom turn around and give the whole crowd the fingers guns as they leave the church?
7. Birth of a child: What wife doesn’t want the finger guns from her hubby just to say, “You did alright honey”? If that doesn’t make 20 hours of labor worth it, I don’t know what will.
6. At the end of a job interview: Win or lose, good or bad, it always looks good to walk out with a little swagger. Finger guns gives you that in any situation.
5. Funerals: Far too many funerals are ruined by a lack of humor. If the deceased was posed in the casket, or even in a chair, giving the finger guns, who wouldn’t crack a smile?
4. After winning anything: This one’s pretty obvious. Whether it be a Nobel Prize or a game of backgammon with your grandma, there’s no better way to say, I’m the man, or I’m the Woman, than with finger guns. True fact: I taught my dog to do finger guns.
3. When you’re a bartender on a cruise ship: Actor Ted Lange, aka bartender Isaac Washington on the late 70’s/early 80’s show The Love Boat is credited as having invented the finger guns. Now all Royal Caribbean cruise ship bartenders are required to incorporate finger guns in their interactions with customers or the drinks are free.
2. Presidential debates: I hereby vow that I will give my vote to any candidate who finger guns his opponent after a rebuttal.
1. At the completion of sex. I think the most important part would be putting the guns in their imaginary holsters on your naked hips after. Please someone do this and then come back to the comments just to tell me you did.
If you’ve got ideas for other perfect times to use finger guns, by all means put them in the comments. Maybe we can make another list! As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share by hitting the Facebook, Twiiter or re-blog buttons below. If you do I’ll give you the finger guns! Have a great weekend! ~Phil
