Tag Archives: Google search terms

Fun With Search Terms: The Father’s Day Edition!

When most of us were kids, Google was our dad. There was no internet or search engines. If you wanted to know something you had two choices: break open that giant set of encyclopedias that your parents bought twenty years ago or ask your dad. Dad was supposed to know everything, right? Only now that we’re parents we know that our parents didn’t know everything and were making all their answers up.

Now though, we can search the internet for answers. Unfortunately, when you ask the internet questions,  sometimes the internet keeps those questions so a blogger can make fun of them later, like now. Today. That is what I’m doing. Here are the funniest/weirdest search terms that brought readers to #ThePhilFactor over the last three months:

Gary Spivey on Trump Impeachment: I will take any opportunity to post a picture of Gary Spivey, Psychic Medium because I’m jealous of his fame and fortune. And hair. We have a lot in common. We have great hair and both he and I have predicted a premature end to the term of he who shall not be named. Also, I predicted I would interview Gary for The Phil Factor this year. He knows it’s going to happen.

MTV music video font: From my old days working on MTV I stole their font and have been using it.

Philthy Animal Old: I take exception to Google deciding that my blog, or me in particular, is the answer to this search term. It’s like Google is mocking me personally.

Funeral Fun: That’s right! Need entertainment for your funeral? Just call 1-800-Phil-Factor! I will emcee with humor and empathy!

“phil factor” bill gates: Yes, I’m the Bill Gates of blogging.

Phil is leaving memes: You’re damn right I’m leaving memes. I’m a meme dropping machine. And I’m sassy.

real sexting conversations to read in hindi: This goes back to a post from 2015 and since I published that, the views and this search term haven’t stopped. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. That’s ok. You Hindi speaking people feel free to fly your freak flag at The Phil Factor anytime you want. I’m here for you.

Have a great Sunday and Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there! ~Phil

Is This A Trumped Up List of Search Terms?

Our current President might say this list is “Fake news. Sad!” but I would testify to a Senate Intelligence Committee that it’s all the truth. This is my quarterly reminder that whatever you put into a Google search, someone somewhere is going to read it. Quite possibly the Russians, but I swear that I took precautions to ensure that the Russians couldn’t interfere with this list.

10. Worst Tattoos: I don’t think my tattoos are that bad. What? You want to know what my tattoos are? When I get a new blog follower, I go to their profile page and print out their pic and get it tattooed somewhere on my body. If you want to know where yours is, email me. (BTW, I’ve got a few choice spots left. Let me know which one you want!)

9. bulbus nude ass: That may be where my tattoo of you is.

8. Sociopath smell: I thought I smelled like Teen Spirit, but apparently I smell like a sociopath. It’s kind of a sandal wood smell.

7. cool reason to guve up sleep: I think a cool reason to guve up sleep is to read every #ThePhilFactor post ever. Just keep scrolling backward. And call work. You won’t be going in today.

6. psychic will trump be impeached: As the only psychic on this blog I answered this question HERE

5. look at what you did dr. david dao: I’m pretty sure David Dao didn’t do anything. He looks downright lazy there. The airline crew is doing all the work!.

4. stop sending me chain letters: Those aren’t chain letters. You signed up for the emails when I post to my blog. But as long as you’re here, I’m a Nigerian Prince and I have a large sum of money I’d like to send to your bank account.

3. phil government shitdowb: Relax everyone. The Phil Government is just fine. There will be no shitdowb on my watch!

2. phil hindi sex: As much as I enjoy strangers from all over the world wanting very personal information about me, I swear I have never had sex with a hindi. Not that I’m opposed. I’m sure that most of the Hindi speaking people would be fine sexual partners. I think they even wrote a book about it.

1. Queen Amidala on toilet: I’m not sure what’s stranger; that someone searched this topic, or that Google directed them to my blog when they searched it.

Trust me, there were a few worse search terms that I refuse to put on my family friendly blog. The only thing more disturbing than some of these search terms is the spelling and grammar some people use. Obviously many of them don’t google the spelling of what they’re looking up. I hope you have a great weekend! ~Phil

And You Thought Hillary Clinton’s E-Mails Might Be Bad?

This is my quarterly “Fun with Search Terms” post where I highlight the stupidest search terms that brought someone to my blog. If you come from outside the blog world to read this, I’ll explain. Those of us that operate a blog get all sorts of information about things, like how many people read our blog each day, what countries they come from, how they got to us, ie from Facebook, Twitter or Google, and we get to see the idiotic search terms they typed into Google that brought them to us. Trust me Hillary, feel free to show the world your secret e-mails. They can’t be more embarrassing than what some people have searched for.

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10. Kittens in snow talking: Who is leaving their kittens outside in the snow? I am calling the SPCA. Bring those kittens inside! Of course this brought people to my blog. Aren’t I always writing about kittens?

9. First man alive: I’m not saying if I am or I’m not, but my blog has been around for ten years, so I may have been the first man blogging.

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8. High Santa on weed: Instead of milk and cookies I leave Santa pot brownies.

7. Kimberly Taylor boobs: As you may have noticed, I almost never talk about family on The Phil Factor. I will neither confirm nor deny if I am related to Kimberly Taylor or her boobs.

6. Is there an I hate Oprah website? I have been proud of many accomplishments in my life. The fact that Google decided my blog was the answer to this question supersedes all previous accomplishments.

meerkat-mafia

5. Meerkat butts: Well who doesn’t love a tight little meerkat butt? They’re so cute.

4. Things that have happened on a Tuesday: That’s right, if it happens on a Tuesday you’ll find it documented here.

3. All nude perfect skinny ass backward nice: You know how in America every Chinese restaurant is named something like Grand Super China Incredible Dragon Buffet? This search term is like that but as if someone with English as a second language was looking for a strip club. And yes, my skinny ass looks backward nice.

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2. Horniestintheland.com: Go on, put that search term into Google. I’m not daring you. I insist that you do it. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Open a tab, put in Google.com, type horniestintheland.com. The first two search results are to The Phil Factor, right? Now try this: click “images” at the top of the Google page. It’s all pictures that have been on The Phil Factor! Google has officially decided that I am HorniestInTheLand! Should I add that to my LinkedIn profile?

1. Real sexting conversations to read in hindi: In just the last 30 days alone 53 people have used this search term and found my blog. Something strange regarding sexting in Hindi happened somewhere in the world. Either that, or I’m secretly embedding Hindi sexual innuendo in my blog posts. Only my Hindi friends will really know.

There you have it. My quarterly proof that there are certain people that probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote or operate a motor vehicle. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. The more times my nonsense gets shared the more ridiculous the Google search results will become. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Fun with Search Terms!

This is my quarterly Edward Snowden-like reminder that whenever you put a search term into Google, someone somewhere may be reading it.  Here are some of the most unique search terms that have brought people to The Phil Factor, with what I hope is humorous commentary.

1. Original drummer Motorhead:

philthyfinal

My secret is finally out and I’m so relieved. Yes, I was the drummer for a British heavy metal band in the 1980’s

2. Horniestintheland.com: When I do my ‘Fun with Search Terms’ post every 90 days or so this phrase always comes up at least once. I suppose Horniest in the Land is some sort of title. I wasn’t aware I entered that contest, but OK, I’ll take any recognition I can get. I’m sure it’s a website, but I’m not going there. Check for me and report back in the comments here.

3. Sad emo sith in the floor: That’s right, The Phil Factor is where all the depressed Star Wars fans go. I really hate when I leave my emo sith all over the floor. I’m constantly tripping on them. They’re worse than stepping on Legos. Pro tip for parents of small children: Don’t buy them Legos. Or emo sith.

4. to much bees massacred that man ehead only see that in canada the bees stay on head of the man only: Well obviously. Why wouldn’t this lead people to my blog?

5. Should I be scared of invisible germs? Yes. Yes you should. I sneezed on my computer while typing this blog and now you’re catching my cold.

6. where can i find the forms one needs to fill for the upcoming audition in tpf: (TPF = The Phil Factor) The forms to audition for The Phil Factor can be found on my “About Me” page, although based on your lack of capitalization when typing your search term I don’t have a good feeling about your chances.

7. the angry beavers smoking weed: I hope the weed smoking helps those beavers relax a little. Then again, if smoking pot gives you the munchies, who wants hungry beavers around?

beaver

8. Are Phil Taylor’s children disabled? Their only disability is having me as a father.

9.  Kanye West loser jerk: I’m thrilled that my blog is the answer to this question.

10. Happy hump day sexy guy pics: Hell yeah! Did you see the picture on the top left of this page of me leaning on the car? And I’m not sexy just on hump day either.

As always, feel free to share #ThePhilFactor by Facebook, Twitter, re-blogging, or any other social media means. Have a great weekend! ~Phil