Tag Archives: Duck Dynasty

2013 Winners and Losers: Kim, Kanye, Phil, Miley and The Biebs


I know not all of you are from the States but surely you’ll be familiar with at least some of these story lines:

Miley Cyrus: After Miley’s bawdy “twerking” demonstration with Robin Thicke at the VMA’s there was literally public outrage. Really everybody? We’re mad because she did a kind of weird, kind of sexy, kind of dance? I wasn’t alive in the 1950’s, but apparently everybody was so upset about some guy named Elvis moving his hips, the 50’s version of twerking, that the networks wouldn’t show his hips on TV. Remember the 1980’s when everyone was aghast about Madonna‘s sexual songs and revealing outfits? The network, the VMA’s and Robin Thicke were all in on this and everybody is calling Miley crazy. She’s crazy like a fox. Or maybe crazy like Charlie Sheen. We’re still talking about it and we all loved Wrecking Ball. Who wins? #MileyCyrus.


Kanye West: This one was a battle of the titans. Kanye West vs. the Kardashians. Kanye won, but ultimately he will lose. Kanye won the baby name battle but he will lose the war. Dude was so desperate to revive his flagging career that he married a Kardashian. Kim changes husbands like I change my underwear, at least once a year. Mark my words, 2014 will see Kanye sent packing and baby North will take on the Kardashian name. If that happens, consider yourself lucky my friend. Look at what they did to Bruce Jenner. Kanye would have been better off changing his name to Kardashian. Does he even still make music anymore? Verdict: Loser.

Kim Jong Un: I tricked you when I put Kim in the title. Some of you may have missed this, but after his crazy dad died Kim Jong Un took over control of North Korea and just a couple weeks ago had his uncle killed just to consolidate his power. Dude has got some serious family issues. Stomping out dictators and global bad guys is like playing Whack-a-mole. Once you knock off one another one pops up to take his place. I’m not psychic but but I’m getting the feeling that Kim Jong Un  may have drones in his future, and not the ones delivering from Amazon. Kim Jong Un may think he’s winning, but before long history books will show that he is a loser.

Duck Dynasty

Phil Robertson and Duck Dynasty: I can’t believe the A&E network was shocked that an old redneck said bigoted things. My personal beliefs and politics aren’t the issue, but I am furious that you let him get away with sullying the good name of Phil. I’ve suspended him from Phil Club and he’s not getting back in. Ever. Who cares if the Duck Dynasty family walks off the set and never films another episdode? A&E, way to go caving in to a bunch of backwoods primadonnas. Way to set a precedent. As a network you have enough money and other shows to move on without Duck Dynasty and the Duck Dynasty family has enough money to walk away and not even miss the show.  Loser: A&E


Justin Bieber: The Biebs had a rough 2013. In March he collapsed during a concert, attacked a photographer and in a tweet defending himself mocked Lindsay Lohan. He wrapped up his stellar March 2013 by spitting at a neighbor who had complained that #Bieber was driving too fast in their little neighborhood. In April while visiting the Anne Frank museum he actually wrote in the guest book, “Truly inspiring to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Belieber.” What an idiot. I’m sure she’d have followed The Phil Factor. Then in October the able bodied #Justin Bieber is criticized worldwide for having his bodyguards carry him up the stairs at the Great Wall of China. Finally about two weeks ago he announced his retirement. Retirement from what? Being a complete jerk? Just based on 2013 I’m tempted to attach the phrase ‘colossal asshat’ to The Biebs, but I believe the jury is still out. He’s a talented kid who is only 20 years old. If I were judged on my 20 year old self I’d call me a colossal asshat too. Ok #JustinBieber, you’ve screwed up one year, it’s up to you if you screw up the rest. Verdict: Only time will tell.

As always, if you’ve enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please his the Facebook or Twitter share button below and feel free to leave a comment here as well. You know Anne Frank would. Yeah, I know I said I’d post my New Years resolutions today. Apparently I lied. I’ll post those on Monday or Tuesday. Have a great weekend!

If You Love Honey Boo Boo, You’ll Love…The Phil Factor?

This is my new quarterly feature, Fun with Search Terms! You know how when you put in a search term you get pages of related websites? Some are close to what you wanted to find and others not so much. Have you ever worded your search term poorly and gotten some results that made you click your browser closed in horror and go take a shower? This post is my quarterly reminder to be careful what you put into a search engine because somewhere someone knows what you’re looking for.


WordPress tracks the search terms that bring people to The Phil Factor. Here are some of my favorites from the last 90 days along with my commentary:

If you love Honey Boo Boo you’ll love: The Phil Factor? Yup, apparently Google thought that my whimsical trailer park wisdom would appeal to the Honey Boo Boo crowd. Jeez, what’s next, Duck Dynasty fans? Speaking of that, just to be clear, I am not the Phil that everyone is so riled up about this week. We’ve suspended him from Phil Club until further notice.

Reasons to hate OprahI’m only surprised that someone had to do a search to find reasons. I can think of at least ten off the top of my head.

Cub Scout cult: If I was to start a cult it definitely wouldn’t be with Cub Scouts, and especially not with the scout leaders. The khaki shorts and kerchief outfit gives me the creeps.

Dog drool germs: Apparently Google thinks my blog is the place to find dog drool germs. That’s why I keep Purel over in the left sidebar. On a related note, if you just looked at my left sidebar to see if it was there I strongly suspect you may be one of the people whose search terms end up in this list.

Kid stuck to popes leg: I’m not allowed to comment until the Vatican issues a public statement.

Ted Cruz catheter: Apparently after reading several passages from #ThePhilFactor during his infamous filibuster Senator Cruz laughed so hard that he peed himself.

Etiquette for men peeing outside: Proving that I am a resource of useful information, yes, there is etiquette for men peeing outside and I wrote about it here.

Celine Dion satanic: I don’t believe for a minute that Satan would want Celine Dion hanging around with him. Her music isn’t evil, it’s just bad.

Horniestintheland.com : I don’t know if that’s a real website and I’m afraid to look, but someone found The Phil Factor by entering that search term. Is there a Horniest in the Land contest? If I entered and posted the link here would you vote for me?

People Magazines sexiest man alive year after year: At least Google search thinks of me as The Sexiest Man Alive even if People Magazine keeps getting it wrong.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your friends by hitting the Facebook share button below. Happy Holidays and have a great weekend!