Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Dumbest Lies Ever


10. Sure you can pet him. He’s friendly. He’s never bitten anyone in his life! ~every dog owner ever, right before their dog bites you.

9. Hold still. This will only hurt a little bit. ~doctors, dentists, and…

8. I don’t need a list. I’ll remember! ~husbands, right before they forget everything on your list.


7. No. I’m not mad. ~women who are obviously mad.

6. It’s OK. I have plenty of time! ~all of us, when we definitely don’t have enough time.

5. I’ll write a blog and become famous! ~me, lying to myself every damn day


4. Does that dress make you look fat? No, it’s your hips that make you look fat! ~very stupid men.

3. LOL! ~all of us using the internet to lie to our friends because they can’t actually see that we’re not LOL’ing.

2. Gray hair makes you look distinguished. ~all women lying to all men. (If that were true, why don’t women ever want to look distinguished?)

1. I think your “love handles” are cute. ~couples who have both given up and are sitting on the couch in their elastic-waisted sweat pants watching Netflix and eating Cheetos. 

So what other lies do you tell on a regular basis? Or which ones do you hear most often? Feel free add yours in the comments. Or if you don’t want to just click like without reading at all. I love that. (me lying to you.) Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil


27 responses to “Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Dumbest Lies Ever

  1. MY PHONE NEVER RANG ( pretend to look for missed calls) ~ I saw it was you and couldn’t be arsed answering because I’m not in the mood for you today 😉

  2. I’m running late, I’m still waiting for the taxi (me, when I’m too embarrassed to reveal that I’m late because I spent 2 hours attempting to put false eyelashes on)

  3. “I’ll do it later” …. Son #2 as a teenager, regardless of what I asked him to do.

  4. I think number 4 isn’t really a lie…. 😀

  5. I don’t think #2 is a lie at all.
    How about when you help someone and they thank you and you say, “Oh no problem, anytime.” Lie. It’s such a lie. Really I’m hoping because I’ve helped, I won’t be asked to help again soon. 😛 *weak giggle*

  6. “I’m fine, really” or “I’m ok” or “Doesn’t matter” No, you’re not fine, you’re pissed as hell, and of course it matters!! 🙂

  7. “No, I’m not mad!” – yep, I use this all of the time 😂

  8. “How are you?”
    “Oh, I’m fine, just fine” When your life is collapsing around you.

  9. “I spent 3 hours working out at the gym
    and since I woke up I barely ate a thing.”

  10. LOL. Not a lie. “I gave at the office.” Lie

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