Category Archives: Humor

The First Phil Factor

Yes, on this very day, at this exact time, on April 2nd in 2005, I put my writing legs up in the stirrups, leaned back and gave birth to The Phil Factor. Yes, the image was meant to make you cringe a little.  If my blog was a person it would be at college experimenting with alcohol and gummies while failing English composition. There’s not many blogs in the world that have been active as long or longer than mine, and I’m proud of that. Earlier this year I surpassed 2200 posts where I have talked as if someone is listening.

My Blogger sidebar before I moved it over to WordPress. I love that at the bottom it shows 2005.

Yes, I know that over the past few years, I haven’t blogged as often as I used to. I’ve had a lot of real life going on in my life and I’ve discovered that for me writing is something I do a lot of when I’m happy and not as much when I’m stressed. Below is my first Phil Factor blog.

What Up Dawg? Is it just me or is everyone sick of Randy Jackson’s act on American Idol? How many times can we hear, “What up dawg?” Or his other favorite, “It was a little pitchy in spots,” or “It was just ahh ight for me.” The dude is like one of those action figures where you squeeze him and he has three pre-programmed phrases he rotates through. Nearly as bad is Paula Abdul. Has anyone else noticed that this season she seems drunk every week? She loves everyone this season and seems to find an excuse to physically grab Simon Cowell every week. Considering her recent charge of leaving the scene of an accident after she clipped another car on the freeway, how ironic is it that her big 1988 hit song, Straight Up, included the line “caught in a hit and run”?

That’s how I introduced myself to the blogging world and I was rewarded with ZERO comments or likes. Also, I’d like to give a shout out to my longtime blogging friend Jennifer of Not Quite Perfect  , and a few other blogs, who has been blogging longer than me and is still at it. Visit her site and give her a like or comment.

Barney from How I Met Your Mother made me so happy when he shouted “This is totally going in my blog!” Instantly our dorky little hobby was validated.

Lastly and most importantly I’d like to say thank you to all of my blogging friends who have made this the wonderful, welcoming blogging community that it is. I have appreciated every read, like or comment over the past 20 years. Without you, I probably wouldn’t have lasted a year.

Cheers to all of you and I hope we can share a glass of champagne some day. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

The Other Phil Factor?

That picture is not me. Hard to believe I know. Going back to the early days of Google search it always bugged me when I’d Google my own blog and the first name on the list was ThePhilFactorMagic.com. It wasn’t every time. Sometimes I was at the top of the Google list and other times it was him. For a while I was irked, but I got over it and decided to bring our impressive forces together to break the internet. I emailed the other Phil Factor and asked him to be a guest on my blog for it’s 20th anniversary.

Me: You are a professional magician with decades of experience and success. How did you first develop an interest in magic as a career?

The Magical Phil Factor: As most Magicians it started when I was young. My Grandfather showed me a classic trick called “nickels to dimes”.  He gave me the trick and a magic book for my birthday.  Needless to say my Mother suffered through my attempts at performing magic tricks for her.  Some good and some terribly bad.  After seeing my first ever live performance by a magician in my early twenties I got seriously hooked.  At that point I dove into learning and performing as much as I could.  After months of non-stop practice, I ventured out and began busking for my own experience and growth as a performer.  Here I am 27 years later still doing what I love.

Me: Did you consider or work in other jobs before “Magician” became your full-time title?

The Magical Phil Factor: Yes, I served a four year tour of duty in the United States Air Force from 1989-1993 during Desert Storm and Desert Shield campaigns. When I got out of the military, I worked for Coca Cola my entire career while maintaining a side hustle performing magic at corporate, private and public events. Last year I finally decided to leave my job with Coca Cola and pursue Magic full time as my only income.

Me: First off, thank you for your years of military service. Secondly, you worked at Coca-Cola? Lol, I worked for Pepsi for four years in college. That’s an interesting synchronicity. Apparently all Phil Factors like carbonated beverages. So, tell me, what makes your magic show different?

The Magical Phil Factor: I believe what makes my magic different is my 50/50 approach.  I try to be entertaining and funny just as much as presenting mind blowing sleight of hand magic. People seem to respond well and really enjoy it as entertainment.  Rather than feeling tricked or fooled they can laugh and also be amazed.  I want them to walk away saying “That was a fantastic and entertaining show!”  Not, “How did he do that trick?”  I would much rather give people a lifelong,  joyful memory of that time they experienced The Phil Factor!

Me: That’s exactly how I approached dating in my 20’s!

Me: So what’s your best trick?

The Magical Phil Factor: I don’t know if it is my “best” trick. That’s subjective to each audience that bears witness, but it is one of my favorites that I am proud of and perform often. I call it “Dixie Chick”.  I created this routine with heavy inspiration from one of my good friends and fellow magician Doug Brewer.  Any magic performances that are my own creations are my favorite and suit my personality best.  It feels more authentic and translates to an audience in a genuine way.

Me: Who is your favorite magician?

The Magical Phil Factor: Without question, my favorite magician is David Williamson!  He is a comedic genius who performs diabolical magic.  Combining his chaotic, insane comedy antics with incredible magic leaves people breathless.  He was my introduction to learning magic from a professional magician and heavily influenced my choice of material and how I perform it.  He truly is one of a kind and the reason I fell in love with magic. He’s an incredible gift to the world of magic.

Me: Thanks Phil, I really appreciate you sharing your magic with my readers. I occasionally get to So-Cal, so the next time I go, I’ll look you up and see your show. Feel free to pull me into one of your tricks!

Thanks  for reading! Have a magical day! ~ Phil

The Best Phil Factor Interviews

In my 20 years of blogging I’ve interviewed a lot of very interesting, accomplished people. The world is full of them and some of them are also very nice and took some time to talk with a small time blogger. These are the top ten in no particular order. Each interviewee is awesome in their own right and specialty. Each of their names will by linked so you can read the interview if you want to.

Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize winner, author and columnist: Yes, in a complete shock to me, I interviewed a Pulitzer Prize winner for my blog way back in 2013.

Rick Reles, founder of the Bigfoot Field Researchers  Organization: Yup, I went from Dave Barry, the GOAT of columnists,  to Rich Reles, the GOAT of Bigfoot experts. And, isn’t Bigfoot the GOAT of paranormal creatures? I did an interview with Bigfoot too. When I emailed Rick and his colleague they were a little standoff-ish fearing that I wasn’t going to take their work seriously. I convinced them otherwise and Rick was great.

irishamerican.com

Larry Kirwan of Black 47One of my passions in life is good music. You may not know about Larry’s band Black 47, which disbanded in 2014, but in the 90’s and early 2000’s, Black 47 was selling out places in New York City nightly with their Irish party rock music. I absolutely loved their music and am disappointed that I never got to see them live.

Marie Lanza, author, radio personality, producer and Zombie Queen: If you’re a human being alive in the United States you’ve probably seen, heard or read some content that she caused. Marie is so good that she’s had multiple appearances on The Phil Factor. My favorite was her Top Ten Things You Need To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse.

Robbie Rist: Actor, voice actor, and musician: As I made note of in the interview, if you didn’t know his name until now, you’ve probably seen or heard him. His career encompasses The Brady Bunch, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Doc McStuffins, Sharknado, Hallmark movies and music.

Rich Valdes, Demonologist and ExorcistThis interview was tremendously popular. If you’ve got an unwanted ghost or need an exorcism, this is your guy. In 2023 he was featured on Eli Roth’s Legion of Exorcists which you can find on The Travel Channel, Hulu, and HBO Max.

Jodyne Speyer, author, Huffington Post contributor and Hollywood costuming expert: Of course you’ve never heard of Jodyne unless you read her relationship book, Dump ‘Em. She’s also Sarah Silverman‘s sister and once interviewed Kato Kaelin!

news.uwlax.edu

The Dating DoctorWhen I posted this interview in 2015 I was surprised at the response and number of views. People from all over the world were looking for love on ThePhilFactor!

Hugh Howey, author: To me, Hugh created the template for indie/self-publishing writers. I interviewed him when was just into the early years of his success and he struck me as a great writer with a good head for the business of publishing. The Silo series , based on his Wool book has a phenomenal cast and is on Apple TV and Amazon Prime.

Christopher Moore, author: I’m not saying Christopher Moore is my favorite author, or that I saved the best for last, but I might have. He is on my personal Mount Rushmore of authors. So many great books, so much fun to read, and one of the nicest people I ever interviewed.

As many of you know, I like a good top ten list. This is a great top ten list and as I said, all of these wonderful people took the time to talk, email or message with me. Things like these wonderful artists interviewing with me is what keeps me hanging around the internet. I hope that you read and enjoyed some of the interviews you haven’t seen before.

Have a great Monday and thanks for reading! ~Phil

20 Years of The Phil Factor!

This week I’m commemorating the 20th anniversary of ThePhilFactor! I know that it’s just a personal blog, but I think twenty years of weird, hopefully funny and things you never thought of is worth celebrating. I didn’t start this blog with any thoughts or goals about longevity, but here we are. You and me. Some of you have been wonderful, longtime blogging friends, and others reading this are occasional visitors or strangers who were Googling something weird, clicked a few links and ended up here.

I know that it’s completely self-indulgent to spend the next week celebrating myself, but I will also be celebrating all of you with a post about my favorite bloggers. I couldn’t, or wouldn’t have kept blogging for twenty years without all the wonderful other writers who have encouraged me with comments, links, and your inspiring posts. I hope that some of you have enjoyed my content and had a little chuckle when you were having a bad day.  I never felt like I was blogging in a vacuum. I felt like we were all one team pulling in the same direction.

Although I have yet to be crowned Sexiest Man Alive, you have all made me feel like the Sexiest Blogger Alive, but I’m still waiting for someone to create that award. I hope you enjoy my content this week. I love me some blogging nostalgia.

Thanks for reading today, and especially for the last twenty years. ~Phil

What’s Your Secret Mundane Superpower?

We all have that one ordinary thing we do that everyone else also does, but we’ve mastered it better than anyone else in all of humanity. That is your Secret Mundane Superpower. You may even have multiple super powers. And I want to hear about them. I want to hear you revel in your greatness!

I will tell you about my Secret Mundane Superpowers, only on the condition that you respond with yours in either your own blog post about it, or in the comments below. If you read past this paragraph, you have engaged in a legally binding contract to reveal your mundane superhero identity. Although it may seem like writing silly bullshit is one of my Secret Mundane Superpowers, it is not.

I’ve been blessed with three Secret Mundane Superpowers. The first is my mastery of the microwave oven. If you hand me a plate of any size with any amount of any food, I can immediately choose the exact amount of time that it needs to be cooked to come out at the perfect eating temp. It’s not like I just shout out “5 minutes” or any other even number. The numbers just pop into my head; sometimes it’s 1:47 and other times it’s 18:23.

My second mundane super power is cartwheels. I don’t know why, but at some point in my life I decided that I would continue to do cartwheels long past the age when the rest of humanity gives up that childish foible. Now that I’m way on the wrong side of 50, I’ll occasionally do a cartwheel to say “F you universe, you can’t stop me.” In fact, you can see many of those cartwheels in random places on my TikTok. And by the way Simone Biles, I don’t care how many medals you have, I will challenge you to a cartwheel contest any day. Hit me up. You know where to find me.

My third Secret Mundane Superpower is telling time. Not looking at a watch telling time, but telling time in the times and places when you lose time. If we’re on vacation sitting on a beach drinking margaritas all day and  neither of us has a watch or our phones. At any random moment if you shout out “Phil, what time is it?” I will respond with the time within four minutes of accuracy. I will also tell you to stop shouting. I’m sitting right next to you.

I believe that all of us do have wings, albeit mundane ones sometime, but you are not just ordinary. What you consider a mundane talent might be a herculean feat for someone else. We are all capable of greatness in ways large and small. You too are a superhero.

OK, you’re up. In the comments below or on your own blog tell us about your Secret Mundane Superpower.

~Thanks for reading, Phil

Scientists Making The World Worse, or Just Dumber?

Pic courtesy of the BBC and Colossal Biosciences.

Some of you may remember my blog post thirteen months ago titled Scientists Making The World Worse, Again… . Last year I told you about the ridiculous quest of a commercial genetics company trying to bring mastodons back to life in our world. Apparently we won’t need to worry about mastodons leaving poops the size of an 8 year old in our yard anytime soon.

Yup, that picture above is what a bunch of scientists did with 13 months and a few billion dollars. They made a hairy mouse. If I’m not mistaken, I believe those already existed and they’re called guinea pigs. Although, if you’re a guy who’s balding, the hair growth these scientists created might be worth getting a patent.

So, this past year they created a hairy mouse. That’s hardly a mastodon. If they are able to clone something hairier and larger once a year, what will those scientific leaps and bounds look like? This year, a hairy mouse, then next year a slight more muscular pigeon, followed by a Chihuahua that might nip you right in the knees instead of ankles, and after that maybe a a real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

So, the billionaire investors in Colossal BioSciences must be pretty excited about how their money is being spent. I wonder what Colossal Bioscience’s motto is; Just wait, we’ll get there eventually!

I hope you’re having a great weekend, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday: There’s a New Pope

Proving that #ThePhilFactor is one of the oldest continuous running blogs on the interwebs, today’s Throwback Thursday post goes back to not the most recent Pope election, but the one in 2005. That’s right, The Phil Factor has now spanned two Popes and four Presidents.

In fact it was almost three Popes. Pope John Paul II died the day before The Phil Factor was born. Or did he die <em>so that</em> The Phil Factor could be born?  Hey, it’s the circle of life. I don’t make the rules. What I think I’m trying to say here is that God wants you to read The Phil Factor. It’s his favorite blog. In the picture below Pope Benedict is saying “All hail The Phil Factor!” He was speaking in Latin, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.

<img class=”size-full wp-image-17739″ src=”https://thephilfactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/20221231T0445-OBIT-BENEDICT-1753610-scaled-1-e1741528479565.jpg&#8221; alt=”” width=”1200″ height=”967″ />

(4/19/2005) There’s a new Pope and it’s not me. <em>Again</em>. The whole process just pisses me off. It’s all political. It’s who you know. It’s who you kissed up to. Just because I’m not a glad handing Cardinal in the Catholic church I don’t even get a whiff of consideration for the job.

I didn’t even get a single write in vote. That is totally not fair. If I am ever elected Pope the first thing I’m going to do is revise that hat. It’s got to be a total pain in the ass to get through doorways wearing a 3 foot hat. I think a nice papal baseball cap worn backwards would be cool. It could have a big “V” on the front for Vatican. If I was Pope I’d also have one of those big foam No. 1 fingers for waving from the balcony to the millions of people who wait outside all the time. You know there is no way that the guy standing 800 rows back from the Vatican can see that little Miss America wave the Pope does. I’ve got a goatee. If I were Pope I’d keep that. A Pope with a goatee would be cool. Especially if it was me.

<img class=”size-full wp-image-17737″ src=”https://thephilfactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/download-11-e1741528338873.jpg&#8221; alt=”” width=”1000″ height=”563″ /> Pope Benedict taking his first ever cell phone call from me.

To be honest, I added the two pictures to the post about ten years ago. In 2005, when I wrote this, I had no idea how to add pictures to my posts, and I’m not even certain that <a href=”http://Wordpress.com”>Wordpress</a&gt; offered that as an option.

As always, if you enjoy The Phil Factor please leave a comment, (like what you would do if you we’re Pope), and/or hit the Facebook share button below. Have a great Thursday and thanks for reading! ~<em>Phil</em>

The Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope

10. He gets his own bobblehead: My head bobbles, but nobody is making toys out of it.

9. Chicks dig a guy with power: Dude can get anyone he wants in Vatican City. From what I hear, he’s got a serious habit habit, if you know what I mean (insert wink emoji here).  

8. I tried for years to Get McDonald’s to serve breakfast all day: One wave of his triton and it’s Egg McMuffin’s for dinner.

7. He gets featured on #ThePhilFactor again: Come back for my Throwback Thursday later this week to read a Phil Factor from the ancient days of the internet, 2005, featuring the newly elected Pope then.

6. The Popemobile! In the pantheon of super vehicles the Popemobile ranks right up there with the Batmobile and Scooby Doo’s Mystery Machine.

5. He’s the real transgender pioneer: Enough with transgenders acting like they are so nouveau.  Male Popes have been wearing dresses for centuries. Speaking of that, when do we get a female Pope? If there were an attractive female pope, I might suddenly return to Catholicism. When I’m elected Pope or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first,  I’ll change that rule.

4. He gets to use my middle name: When the Pope sends you a DM on Twitter asking if he can go by your middle name, you say yes.

Preview (3)

3. When he get’s the Kohl’s scratch off coupon he always seems to get 30%, and his receipt says he saved $482.00 just for buying a pair of socks.

2. Always gets first pick in his fantasy football draft. 

 

1. He’s so cool that he’s got a Ray-Ban endorsement! 

Have a great Sunday, thanks for reading and bless you! ~Phil

Is Daylight Saving Time Really Necessary?

This is my bi-annual reminder that tomorrow night in the United States we move our clocks forward by an hour and my reminder to you that it’s stupid. I’ve been posting this every Fall and Spring since 2006 and will continue to do so until the government does away with Daylight Savings Time.

Daylight-Savings-Time

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law getting rid of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know if all other countries do this. I do know that not all the U.S. states abide by it. Hawaii and Arizona have essentially told Daylight Savings to eff off. They don’t care if the rest of the world does it.

Daylight Savings Time was created in 1918 to give farmers more daylight in which to do their work in the fields. Call me crazy, but why the hell didn’t someone just suggest that the lazy ass farmers drag themselves out of a bed a little earlier each day? Because those cud chewing, overall wearing, udder jerking lay-abouts can’t be bothered to set their alarm clocks we’re all stuck changing time?

I don’t know if anyone else remembers this, but in 2007 the U.S. Congress, in another colossal waste of their time and our tax dollars, extended daylight savings time by a few weeks on either end.

First off, since it’s called daylight savings time because we are using less daylight in the winter months, why isn’t it called Daylight Spending time from March to November.

Secondly, at this point all the farmers (except the creepy Amish ones) have electricity and alarm clocks, which may not have been the case 120 years ago. I can get away with saying that about the Amish because my demographic data shows that for some reason I have very low readership among the Amish. I guess they just don’t get me.

Reportedly the reason Congress did this is to save energy. How will changing our clocks twice a year save energy? Don’t we set our thermostats and use heat based on the outdoor temperature, not how light out it is? I’d like to save the energy I expend changing my clocks! I’d like Congress to tell me when I get that back. Congress has again proven to be the biggest collection of morons outside of…well…I guess I can’t think of a bigger collection. Why doesn’t Congress set their alarm clocks an hour earlier so they can get up early and get more of this important work done?

dst-baby

B.T. dubs, if we set our clocks forward an hour now but we turn them back in the Fall, over the course of a year what difference does it make?

If we have learned anything from every single time travel movie, it’s that we shouldn’t muck about with time. Also, according to statistics,  the day after we change our clocks there are more workplace injuries, car accidents, and for the day, a 10% rise in heart attacks. Also, all the sleep experts I consulted on Instagram say it’s bad.

I for one am not going to go for this stupid daylight savings time thing anymore. I don’t work at a farm or for Congress, so I told my boss that for 6 months I’ll be to work an hour early or late, however it works out. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, this is going to change!

If you’d like to support my bid for President or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook, share button below, but hurry because you have an hour less to do it in this weekend. Or is it an hour more? Have a great weekend!

Thanks for reading! ~Phil

My Psychic Predictions for the 2025 Oscar Awards!

In case you were wondering, yes, this picture has to go at the head of my predictions each year because that’s the contractual agreement I have with The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. If they want my affiliation, then they’re going to have to put up with my nonsense.

Pic from ABC7 News

My how The Phil Factor Oscars Predictions have grown over the years. I can no longer host them in my garage as I did one year. Now, you’ll have to watch them virtually like we did during COVID. Speaking of pandemics, what’s your over/under on how many of our Hollywood friends walk out of the Dolby Theater with bird flu? My prediction for that is 7.

Here’s my first prediction: As a nod to the great Gene Hackman, his and his wife’s seats will still be in the auditorium empty. Paranormal experts watching The Oscars will report that for a split second in the third hour of the ceremonies, a brief shimmer of Gene and his wife will be seen in the audience or on stage.

Some of you love the movies and others love the psychic predictions, so lets get right down to my predictions, and possibly some extra-curricular activities that happen behind the scenes. Due to budget cuts intended to increase my revenue I will only psychically predict the 5 major awards.

Macaulay Culkin and his younger brother Kieran Culkin. (Photo by Dave Benett/Getty Images)

Best Supporting Actor: Kieran Culkin for putting up with the world’s weirdest brother and succeeding in life anyway.

Pic courtesy of Facebook

Best Supporting Actress: Zoe Saldana and Isabella Rossellini finish in a dead heat. (No offense meant Gene Hackman) What? Too soon?

Zoey Saldana about to hit Chris Rock. Pic courtesy of People.com

Best Actor: 

I don’t need to be psychic to pick this one, but I will anyway. I almost ruled him out because of the Jenner affiliation, but he’s a young kid and doesn’t know any better. The Jenner’s have been chasing Grammy’s and Oscar’s for decades. I also almost ruled him out due to his pretentious name spelling. He grew up going to Laguardia High School. I’m sure his peers and teacher’s loved Ti’mo’thee .Yes, I’m giving the Best Actor to Tim’othe’e Ch’alam’et, but for which movie? A Complete Unknown of course, which is what he’ll be after Kylie Jenner is done with him in court. Twenty years from now when we see him playing Olivia’s troubled nephew in a Law and Order SUV episode, we’ll all say, “Hey, isn’t that guy that won an Oscar a long time ago? Yes, 85 years old Olivia Benson will still be solving sex crimes like a perverted Murder She Wrote Jessica Fletcher.

Best Actress: 

This was the toughest for my psychic brain to sort out. I think it’s the most competitive award this year. A strong case could be made for each of them, I’m feeling that the winner will be …

Demi Moore for her starring role on General Hospital. She saved that damn show. When I came home from school every day my sister and mom were watching and if Demi Moore was on screen I’d sit down and watch the rest of that episode. So, it may be a little belated, but Demi’s riveting turn in The Substance earned her this award.

Picture from The Enterprise World

Best Picture: First here’s why all the others won’t win: Emilia Perez was done in by some very bad tweets. The Brutalist was so brutally long that it needed an intermission. I loved that but the iffy AI accent sunk this. I’ll watch it at home when I can put my intermission wherever the hell I want to.

The Substance is a substantial film, but I’m not feeling this Debbie Downer flick raising the trophy. Conclave is definitely hovering near winning and could slip in the door if some voters blink. A Complete Unknown is also a great pic highlighted by Timmy Charcuterie’s acting and singing.  Nickle Boys?  Nope. I wouldn’t even bet a dime on it. Not that it’s a bad picture, I’m just not feeling it for Best Picture.  Dune Part II? Sounds like a beach themed Pauley Shore movie sequel from the 90’s. Sorry Paul, but when it’s true it’s true. I’m Still Here? No you’re not. Wicked was wickedly promoted but was a snoozer like that time Dorothy and the gang fell asleep in the poppy field. I also slept like I was drugged through Wicked. I wish a house had fallen on that movie.

Pic from Everything Movies Reviews

And The Phil Factor Best Picture prediction winner will be Anora! Why? I don’t know. I didn’t see it, but when I looked into the future, there it was.

Thanks for reading, enjoy The Oscars, and feel free to place your bets based on my predictions. Have a great weekend, and thanks for reading! ~Phil