Category Archives: Psychic dating

The Top Ten Psychic Pick-Up Lines

I first published this column back in April of 2017. Since then, a funny thing has happened. Every single day for the last six years, people from all over the world find this column and read it. Either a lot psychics are looking for help with their love life, or a lot of people are curious about what psychics do when the lights go out.

Psychics are people too though. When they’re not reading minds, predicting the future or communicating with the spirit of your Great Aunt Maude, they’re out there looking for love just like the rest of us. I imagine though that their special skills allow them to try a much different approach when meeting someone. Here are the Top Ten Psychic Pickup Lines:

10. I know your future and it’s me.

9. You’re fine. How am I?

8. Let me read your palm. No, not on the table.

7. I’ve been in touch with your great, great grandmother and she wants you to date me.

6. It’s not you, it’s me. Don’t worry, this will make sense in about 6 months.

5. I see a tremendous amount of pleasure in your future.

4. Don’t talk to that guy. The stars say that heonly lead to heartbreak. I on the other hand…

3. I already know what you like

2. Do you have a dog? You do? I’m a pet psychic. Take me to your apartment immediately.

1. Why yes, I do have crystal balls.

Have a great Tuesday! I know you will. ~Phil

Copyright ThePhilFactor.com 2023

The Psychics First Date (2023)

As I mentioned in my post on Thursday, a lot of folks have been showing up at The Phil Factor to read my 2017 post Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Psychic Pick Up Lines. One of many questions I have about this phenomena is, are the people reading this psychics looking to upgrade their dating game, or is it non-psychics curious about the dating habits of psychics? Or could it possibly be singles on the dating scene looking for ways to prevent them from getting duped by smooth talking psychics?

Here is how I imagine a first date between two psychics would go:

A man in a turban and a purple velour cape sitting alone at a table in a swanky Italian restaurant. He stands up as he makes eye contact with a woman who has just entered and he gives her a little wave. She acknowledges him and starts to weave her way between tables. Her many chiffon scarves flow freely from her, brushing peoples heads as she passes.

Karnak the Magnificent: “Why hello Esmeralda! Have a seat,”  Karnak says as he pulls out her chair for her.

Esmeralda: “Thank you Karnak. This is a lovely restaurant. However did you choose it?”

K: “This is where my grandparents went on their first date sixty years ago. They’ve always told me the story of their magical first date, and I have a good feeling about you, so I thought it might be a good luck charm for us.”

E: Aww…that’s sweet, but it would be more sweet if your ex-girlfriend didn’t wait tables here and you weren’t bringing me here hoping to make her jealous.

K: “What? That’s preposterous! I love the food here!”

Esmeralda raises an eyebrow.

K: “OK, you got me, but the food is really incredible.” Nodding to waiter, “Yes, Cabernet for both please.” Turning to Esmeralda, “Besides, on your dating profile you said that you’re 28 when you’re really 30.”

E: “So we’ve both started this relationship with little white lies. Fair enough. Let’s try to turn our heads off and get to know each other the old fashioned way.”

K: “Agreed. So Esmeralda, where did you grow up?”

E: Chuckles, “Well, I grew up a little bit almost everywhere. My parents were gypsies who traveled with the circus all over Europe. They read the Tarot cards for a living. How about you?”

K: I was an orphan, raised by Tibetan monks in the mountains of Nepal. I immigrated here to the States with them when I was twelve. They came here to build a monastery in the Hollywood Hills. It’s actually right next to a Scientology resort. Tom Cruise came over and bought an alpaca from us once. So tell me about your travels in Europe. Which country was your favorite?”

E: “I loved all of Europe. It’s hard to pick just one country, but if I have to, I’ll say France. Our circus set up just outside of Paris for several months. The people, the food, the wine. I could see the Eiffel Tower all lit up at night. That was a magical time. So Karnak, how did you come to realize that you’re psychic?”

K: “Huh? I’m sorry. I was lost in thought. What did you say Esmeralda?”

E: “You weren’t lost in thought. You were lost in my cleavage! I can read your mind you idiot. And yes, there are more tattoos. Very interesting ones in very interesting places.”

K: “Ok, if we’re going to get real here, let’s get real. Yes, you’ve been to Paris. Paris, Texas where you grew up. You can drop the hokey accent now Paula. Esmeralda? Please. You look like an Esmeralda about as much as I do!”

E: “You want to get real? You weren’t psychically drawn to my booth down at the boardwalk. You read my profile on Tinder and came and found me, hoping your hokey psychic line would get me!”

K: “Listen Paula, I also know that you’ve been wondering about what’s under my …ahem..(using finger quotes) “turban” all night long.”

E: “Listen Steve, yes, I know your real name, are you as hot as I am right now?”

Karnak/Steve: “You already know I am. My place is just around the corner. Let’s get our food to go.”

Esmeralda/Paula: “And when you say “you’re place” you really mean your parents house and we’re going to sneak in through the walk out basement door in back, right?”

Steve: “I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”

Paula: “Keep the turban on!”

As you can see, being a psychic certainly could be challenging on the dating scene. But if you could be psychic and read minds, would you?

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Copyright ThePhilFactor 2023

The Mystery of Psychic Pick-up Lines

Apparently psychics are very interested in dating. There’s nothing wrong with that. Soothsayers need soothing too. The reason I bring this up is that during the last three years I haven’t been blogging as regularly as I used to, yet one particular post that I wrote a few years ago seems to be getting a steady stream of visitors, not from the WordPress Reader, but from random internet searches.

It used to be that my post titled Real Sexting Conversations to Read In Hindi? from 2015 brought a steady stream of readers to my blog. Over the past three years when I neglected my blog and my wonderful gang of Hindi speaking followers, another post that I wrote four years ago has developed a cult following. The post, Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Psychic Pick Up Lines, has over 1700 views so far this year and has similar numbers for the last three years. 1700 views in six months for a post I published four years ago?!!? That’s nearly 300 views per month! I wondered what was going on, and then it hit me; psychics are looking for love and I’m going to help them damn it!

This guy is my favorite psychic, aside from myself of course

I’m not one to ignore a good thing. From here on out I’m considering making this a psychic dating website. Who knew there was such a market? Psychics probably did. Do psychics have trouble finding people to date? Shouldn’t they already know who likes them? Do psychics have to date other psychics, or do they prefer to date people who can’t read their mind right back? These are the mysteries of the universe that I will delve into in my post on Saturday. Be sure to come back for that. Then again, maybe me and my psychic friends already know who’s going to read my blog Saturday. Thank you. I’ll see you then!

Have a great day! ~Phil