Tag Archives: psychics love life

I Know What You Googled In The Dark

Like opening Christmas presents, the list of search terms that brought people here is always surprising. I know I have my regular readers who are nice, sane, intelligent people. Then there are the people that get to The Phil Factor by “Googling” something. My blog will turn up in their list of search results and they get intrigued by one of my clever titles. What most people don’t know is that if someone owns a website, you can get a list of the creepy, crazy and downright bizarre search terms that bring people to your site. This my friends is the top ten list of the weirdest search terms that brought strangers here in 2021.

10. Glutes are made for walking: If you’ve seen my glutes, you know this is spot on, but how did google know about my glutes?

That’s me in the crystal ball. I’m not the lady

9. The Phil Factor Psychic Predictions 2022: 2022? It looks like someone was looking to the future. Yes, in case you didn’t know, I’m psychic and each December I publish my predictions for the coming year. You may scoff (see I’m predicting your behavior), but I have had many of my most outlandish predictions come true. Some even from the last year. If you want to read some of my past psychic predictions, just google The Phil Factor psychic predictions and add the year. Come back here on Dec. 31st for my psychic predictions for 2022.

8. Popes Perks: You’ve got to figure that there are some cool ass perks to being the best known religious official in the world, right? Click the title below to see what I had to say about that in 2015. The Top Ten Perks To Being The Pope

7. Which Generation Eats Tide Pods? Someone searched that term and came to my blog for answers. Believe it or not, I had the answers RIGHT HERE.

6. Coolest Safe Words: When you and your partner want to get a little risky in the bedroom, who can you count on to provide you with the best safe words? That’s right, I’ve got your back, or your front or whatever side you may be doing “things” on when the lights go out. Check out Ten Fun Safe Words

5. Sexting Examples in Hindi: In case you’ve been living under a rock over the last ten years, I’m proud to inform you that my blog is hugely popular in India. Why? Because I have a long history of helping my Hindi speaking friends to प्यार करना (make love). Don’t believe me? Read How Ron Burgundy Will Save Hindi Sex 

4. Candy Hearts Insurance Sayings: Are there really candy hearts with insurance sayings on them? Ugh, who would want that? I imagine it might say something like “I love you, but I’m not going to live forever. Get term life insurance” . Anywho, I think I can blame my list of Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings for this one.

3. Psychic Pick Up Lines: After about 5 years the horny hindi’s tailed off, but they were replaced by a new group of unusual individuals who came to The Phil Factor looking for love. Psychics are now flocking to my blog regularly to find out how to navigate a relationship when you can already read their dirty little minds. If you’re a psychic looking get your chakra stroked then you’ll want to read THIS

2. Celebrity Nipples: Hey, I know my blog and books are popular, but it might be a stretch to call me a celebrity. And generally I try to avoid gratuitous nudity on my blog, but after one particularly flattering picture I just couldn’t resist. Yes, if you google images the phrase The Phil Factor Sexiest Man Alive, that picture will come up, but that’s not why Celebrity Nipples bring people here. It was THIS

1. Amish Wagon Sex Position: Yes, in addition to the psychics and the Hindi speaking folks, I get a lot of people curious about Amish sex coming here because of this one post: The Top Ten Amish Sex Positions

It’s funny, when you look back, it seems like all my most popular, searched posts are about sex. Is that a reflection on me, or on the sick weirdos trolling the internet? Either way, it looks like I should make more sex jokes in 2022.

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

The Psychics First Date (2023)

As I mentioned in my post on Thursday, a lot of folks have been showing up at The Phil Factor to read my 2017 post Top Ten Tuesday! The Top Ten Psychic Pick Up Lines. One of many questions I have about this phenomena is, are the people reading this psychics looking to upgrade their dating game, or is it non-psychics curious about the dating habits of psychics? Or could it possibly be singles on the dating scene looking for ways to prevent them from getting duped by smooth talking psychics?

Here is how I imagine a first date between two psychics would go:

A man in a turban and a purple velour cape sitting alone at a table in a swanky Italian restaurant. He stands up as he makes eye contact with a woman who has just entered and he gives her a little wave. She acknowledges him and starts to weave her way between tables. Her many chiffon scarves flow freely from her, brushing peoples heads as she passes.

Karnak the Magnificent: “Why hello Esmeralda! Have a seat,”  Karnak says as he pulls out her chair for her.

Esmeralda: “Thank you Karnak. This is a lovely restaurant. However did you choose it?”

K: “This is where my grandparents went on their first date sixty years ago. They’ve always told me the story of their magical first date, and I have a good feeling about you, so I thought it might be a good luck charm for us.”

E: Aww…that’s sweet, but it would be more sweet if your ex-girlfriend didn’t wait tables here and you weren’t bringing me here hoping to make her jealous.

K: “What? That’s preposterous! I love the food here!”

Esmeralda raises an eyebrow.

K: “OK, you got me, but the food is really incredible.” Nodding to waiter, “Yes, Cabernet for both please.” Turning to Esmeralda, “Besides, on your dating profile you said that you’re 28 when you’re really 30.”

E: “So we’ve both started this relationship with little white lies. Fair enough. Let’s try to turn our heads off and get to know each other the old fashioned way.”

K: “Agreed. So Esmeralda, where did you grow up?”

E: Chuckles, “Well, I grew up a little bit almost everywhere. My parents were gypsies who traveled with the circus all over Europe. They read the Tarot cards for a living. How about you?”

K: I was an orphan, raised by Tibetan monks in the mountains of Nepal. I immigrated here to the States with them when I was twelve. They came here to build a monastery in the Hollywood Hills. It’s actually right next to a Scientology resort. Tom Cruise came over and bought an alpaca from us once. So tell me about your travels in Europe. Which country was your favorite?”

E: “I loved all of Europe. It’s hard to pick just one country, but if I have to, I’ll say France. Our circus set up just outside of Paris for several months. The people, the food, the wine. I could see the Eiffel Tower all lit up at night. That was a magical time. So Karnak, how did you come to realize that you’re psychic?”

K: “Huh? I’m sorry. I was lost in thought. What did you say Esmeralda?”

E: “You weren’t lost in thought. You were lost in my cleavage! I can read your mind you idiot. And yes, there are more tattoos. Very interesting ones in very interesting places.”

K: “Ok, if we’re going to get real here, let’s get real. Yes, you’ve been to Paris. Paris, Texas where you grew up. You can drop the hokey accent now Paula. Esmeralda? Please. You look like an Esmeralda about as much as I do!”

E: “You want to get real? You weren’t psychically drawn to my booth down at the boardwalk. You read my profile on Tinder and came and found me, hoping your hokey psychic line would get me!”

K: “Listen Paula, I also know that you’ve been wondering about what’s under my …ahem..(using finger quotes) “turban” all night long.”

E: “Listen Steve, yes, I know your real name, are you as hot as I am right now?”

Karnak/Steve: “You already know I am. My place is just around the corner. Let’s get our food to go.”

Esmeralda/Paula: “And when you say “you’re place” you really mean your parents house and we’re going to sneak in through the walk out basement door in back, right?”

Steve: “I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”

Paula: “Keep the turban on!”

As you can see, being a psychic certainly could be challenging on the dating scene. But if you could be psychic and read minds, would you?

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

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