Tag Archives: Facebook funny

Throwback Thursday! Facebook or FaceCrook?

(02/18/17) Clever title, right? Take that Mark Zuckerberg you evil twerp. Based on that last sentence and my title I’m pretty sure that the Facebook algorithm will find a way to bury this post waaaay down people’s timelines.

icontexto-inside-facebook

We’re all doing it. Sometimes we do it in the privacy of our own home. Sometimes we do it in our cars, sometimes we even do it at work. It takes only a few minutes if you’re good at it. We “Facebook”.

‘Facebook’ has become a verb. The grandfather, or maybe I should say Godfather of social media is ubiquitous. (I like using the word ubiquitous because it sounds smart. Not when I say it of course. I sound like an idiot, but if you use it in something you write it’s one of those smart words that make your point seem a little better. Obviously, there aren’t enough smart words to help this blog out). As smart people say, I digress. (look at me go with them there smart word thingies) My point is that Facebook is almost universal. What started out 13 years ago this month as a geeky college student’s way to meet chicks (and I say chicks with the utmost respect for all chicks) has become almost a worldwide registry of humanity. Those of us that are on it think it’s weird when we find people who are not.

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Typical conversation:

Me: Hey, can I find you on Facebook?

Other Person: No. I’m not on Facebook.

Me: Uh, what’s wrong with you? How do you talk to people?

Why am I talking about FB today? Two reasons: 1) Last night when I sat down in my recliner with a glass of wine to start writing today’s Phil Factor, I put in a Google search for “trending topics”. On one particular sites trending topics page was 9 articles about Facebook. If Facebook is the top trending topic how can I ignore it? Apparently Facebook admitted that it’s human editors suppressed articles expressing conservative views in it’s trending news feed. So of course Facebook decided to replace human editors with an algorithm to determine what news we will see on FB. Yes, people replaced by machines, again. Thank God for that. Way too many people are super annoying. I know this because I’m friends with them on Facebook.

mr-bean-facebook-comment-meme-funny-image

Some statistic somewhere says that 98.5% of people get their news from Facebook. Is it good that Facebook has a computer program deciding what news we see? Because Facebook is so universally used, their algorithm has the potential to sway public opinion. Who cares?!!? We know where to get our real, biased news if we want to. We know the liberal news shows and websites and we know the conservative news shows and websites. Get over yourselves everybody. News has been biased since the first cave painting depicting Grog taking out a woolly mammoth with a coconut. (Shocker, the mammoth actually tripped, fell and broke it’s neck. Grog is a liar. Fake news! Sad!)

After reading my last point, I guess Mark Zuckerberg isn’t really an evil twerp. He might be for other reasons, but not because his website controls the news you see. Perspective is like a telescope; you only see what you point it at. Look at a different website, like #ThePhilFactor, if you want a different view. Two paragraphs ago I said I had two reasons to talk about Facebook today. I can’t remember what the other is now. Maybe I’d better go check Facebook to see what I should be talking about.

If you all want to be ironic and vex Facebook’s algorithm you can share this to FB by hitting the share button below. Have a great Thursday!  ~Phil

Name Ten Bands … The Meme That Ate Facebook

No. No, I am not going to name ten bands that I’ve seen and one of them is a lie! And I don’t have time to read and guess yours either. And guess what? I. DON’T. CARE.  (Panic at the Disco) And if you list your ten bands in my comments, I may have to ban you from #ThePhilFactor.

The fact that this meme has taken over Facebook proves that Facebook is dead. After ten years or more of Facebook we have all now officially run out of things to talk about. (Weezer) This is like a party or meeting ice breaker for people who don’t know how to relate to others in a natural, spontaneous fashion. I was at a work dinner the other night and someone pulled that out and we did it at the table while we were face to face. It took so much time that we didn’t even have time to be snarky about other co-workers. (Green Day) That’s the real bonding between people, when you can forge an alliance against a common enemy. The enemy of my enemy is my Facebook friend.

This is it. Now that Facebook has turned this corner, it’s all downhill from here. (Twenty One Pilots) There’s now probably hundreds if not thousands or millions of stupid people that loved the “list ten bands” meme and are now thinking of new, but nauseatingly similar memes about movies, books and TV shows that they will spread to Facebook over and over for several years. (Blink 182) Instead of those boring ideas, how about we revive Facebook with some sarcasm and snarkiness. Here’s some suggestions:

Ten people you hate on Facebook, but one of them is a lie.

Ten People that I’m surprised are still alive, but one of them is a lie.

Ten teachers I kissed in high school but one of them I slept with

(All Time Low)

Ten TV moms or dads I’d do, and none of them are lies.

Ten co-workers I hate, but one of them is a lie.

Ten People that shouldn’t post beach pics of themselves. Please stop posting beach pics of yourself (The Grateful Dead)

Completely not related to this post but I thought it was funny

That’s what Facebook needs, more rabblerousers. More meanness. It needs to be more like the real world. How about that? How about honesty on Facebook? That would be new.  No more idyllic little vacation family photos! Everyone knows that vacationing with family is a giant pain in the ass. (Less than Jake) When the kids are little they’re exhausting to drag around Disney and the adults never get to do what they want and spouses snipe at each other about “you we’re supposed to remember the sunscreen” or “What do you mean you left the Fast Passes back at the hotel?” (Paramore) 

Well, that’s my little rant for this weekend. Who else is on the “let’s mean up Facebook” train with me?  If you have any funny ideas for sarcastic Facebook meme games we could play feel free to share then in the comments. (Bowling For Soup) And please feel free to share this with your Facebook friends by hitting the share button below. Have a great Saturday! ~Phil