Tag Archives: ThePhil Factor

I Was All In On Greenland Long Before Trump

In 2015 I published this ground breaking interview with Greenland expert Sarah Woodall. I think after Trump read my interview, he decided then and there that he wanted Greenland. Unknowingly I may have changed the history of two countries again.

TPF:  Tell us a little about how you came to work in Greenland and how much time do you spend there?

Sarah: The cut-to-the-chase answer is that I was in graduate school getting a Master of Tourism Administration and in November 2011 a representative from Visit Greenland, the national tourist board, came to my school to give a recruitment presentation about summer internships. The pitch was to travel to Nuuk, Greenland for a four-month internship in summer 2012, work at the national tourist board, and live with a local family to get a close experience with the typical Greenlandic lifestyle. As exciting an offer as this sounded on paper, it was actually a beautiful video showing Greenland’s nature, smiling people, whales, and incredible ice, that hooked me with goosebumps and all. Watch the exact video here!

After the internship period, Visit Greenland proposed to hire me, which I most happily accepted. I just recently celebrated the three year anniversary of my first day in Greenland, at which point I marveled over the fact that between work and holiday both, I have spent a total of 16 months in Greenland – not only in the capital but also in many other towns around the coast. It’s the most amazing life I could imagine.

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TPF: What surprised you the most when you first arrived in Greenland?

The first place I ever experienced in Greenland was Nuuk, the capital city. What surprised me was how incredibly cosmopolitan it was! Even though I knew the population of Nuuk, I guess I expected a place more along the lines of what small towns look like in Greenland. There’s so much infrastructure, fashionable clothing, beautiful homes with even nicer furnishings than my own home in Washington, D.C., and everyone had the full line of Apple products. I remembered thinking, ‘In terms of material life, there’s nothing to ‘adjust to’ in Greenland!”

Now that I’ve traveled to 19 towns and settlements in Greenland, I know that all of Greenland cannot be generalized by the Nuuk ruler. I suggest to anyone traveling to Greenland that they experience multiple places in Greenland to be able to understand the great lifestyle spectrum that Greenland has.

Photo credit Sarah Goodall

TPF: Have you had any funny cultural misunderstandings?

Sarah: Yes! I was attending a colleague’s kaffemik, a social gathering to celebrate everything from birthdays to weddings to first days of school. When I got to the door and started removing my shoes – because Greenlanders never wear outdoor shoes inside the house – I suddenly realized I wasn’t wearing socks. My colleague said I should just wear my shoes inside, no problem, but I wasn’t going to do that, and I definitely wasn’t going to walk around barefoot. So I ran home to get a pair of socks! Fortunately I lived just down the street.

There’s also definitely a noticeable cultural difference in how shy Greenlanders can be, especially at first meetings. While in other cultures one might start with a firm handshake, a big smile, and jump right into a firing squad of questions, in Greenland this would almost be an over-the-top infringement on personal space. It takes time to get to such an open level with Greenlanders, so even at a celebratory kaffemik, it is not uncommon to sit in shared silence around the table.

TPF:  Do you speak any Danish?

Sarah: Danish is the colonial language of Greenland, one of two official languages. I do read, write, and speak quite a bit of Danish, though I would not consider myself fluent. I learned it more or less by osmosis. Danish is the more common working language around the office, not to mention when I am in Nuuk, I’m living in a home where Danish is the first language.

However, what is more exciting for me is that I am also reading, writing, and speaking some Greenlandic, though also not fluently by any means. Greenlandic is the mother tongue of Greenland and looks like nothing you have probably ever seen before as it is a polysynthetic language that adds multiple suffices to a root to create full sentences in what looks like a single word. Therefore, I’m pretty proud to be learning it! Want to see what it looks like? Check out the website for Sermitsiaq.AG, one of the newspapers.

Taken at 11:50 pm in June 2013

Taken at 11:50 pm in June 2013 by Sarah Woodall

Since I am not fluent in either of the official languages in Greenland, my daily interactions are some combination of English, Greenlandic, and Danish. By the way, in autumn this year (2015), there will be a book out called ‘Inussuk’ about internationals’ experiences living in Greenland, and I have made a written contribution to the chapter about language. (The book has already been published in Danish, and now this is the English version on the way.)

TPF: Wow, that’s exciting! Here’s some questions from other Phil Factor readers

From Done Dreaming : Coincidently I’m reading Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig and have just got to the part where he says if you live in Greenland you are 27 times more likely to kill yourself than if you live in Greece.

Sarah: While this is certainly the darker side of life, I feel that since the topic has been proposed I should address it the best I can citing findings from a report from the Greenlandic government. Danish title: “Selvmord, Selvmordsforsøg, og Selvmordstanker i Grønland”. Translated English title: “Suicide, Suicide Attempts, and Suicidal Thoughts in Greenland”.

Suicide has increased over time in Greenland.
-Male Greenlanders commit suicide much more than females.
-Suicide is more common in towns than in settlements.
-Younger Greenlanders commit suicide much more than older generations.

Many outside of Greenland will hypothesize that it must be the dark, cold winters that drive Greenlanders to suicide, but this is just so superficial and, no offense, so ignorant of an assumption. Aside from the fact that mental disease can affect any population in the world, there are far more complex Greenland-specific factors at play than latitude.

For example, the political climate of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s was full of turmoil and still has implications today. At the time, Denmark was a firm colonial power and, for example, forced Greenlanders to move from small settlements – where life was close to nature, self-subsistent, and full of space and physical activity – to larger towns – where life was farther from nature and totally lacking of space and privacy. If you can get your hands on them, I HIGHLY recommend two films that explain this period in Greenlandic history extremely well. They have English subtitles. Sume is a feature-length film that uses music as the storytelling method, and Qaannat Alannguanni / I Skyggen af Kayakkerne / In the Shadow of the Kayaks is a more academic 5-part narrated series.

Thank you again Sarah Goodall for making us smarter about your beautiful country.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend! ~Phil

The Lady of The Lake: An Awesome Paranormal Movie

Remember my awesome interview with psychic and paranormal investigator Amanda Paulson about a year and a half ago? If you don’t remember that, go read it HERE first. In that interview Amanda told me about the documentary she was working on. Guess what? It’s finally available! If spooky is your thing, this is a movie you’ll want to see! Here’s the trailer!

It maybe be the winter holidays, but spooky is forever. Go rent or buy her movie and support one of my favorite Phil Factor alums! Have a great Wednesday!

Thanks for reading! ~Phil

The Clown Whisperer

What do you think of clowns? I was working on two thoughtful, interesting blog posts this morning when, while watching the news, I discovered that my city is hosting a clown festival  this weekend! Who doesn’t love clowns, am I right? A clown festival is certainly an activity that doesn’t seem necessary for any reason. I feel like it’s an event just inviting a serial killer to our city. Ok, come on you clown lovers, show me some hate in the comments if you’d like to present a different perspective.

When the topic of clowns came up, I remembered that years ago, at least a decade, I wrote a post about clowns.  I went back and read it and liked it, so I’m going to give it to you today. I also discovered that I had written a couple other blogs espousing the joy of clowns, so it’s going to be a full-on clown weekend! I love a good theme.

The Clown Whisperer (first published Aug. 7, 2007)

(This is a true story from several years ago)

Yesterday started out normally enough and then I saw the first clown. Yes, I said the first clown. There is no circus in town. There was no parade yesterday. But there he was, in front of the guitar store waiting for a ride. He sat on the bench and carefully arranged his clown suitcase and his other clown accoutrements in front of him as he waited. I became self-conscious that he might notice me staring even though I was watching him in my rear view mirror. He appeared to look in my direction, right at my rear view mirror and into my soul. A chill crept across my heart. I looked down for a moment, fearful that he was returning my gaze and I’d suddenly be mesmerized by his piercing stare. Then when I looked up again he was gone. It was so sudden that I wasn’t certain he’d ever been there. There was no car pulling away. No trail of endless brightly colored handkerchiefs. Just nothing. He was…gone.

 
Later in the day I was driving home from running some errands and as I stopped at a traffic light I looked at the car turning left, crossing the intersection in front of me. What I saw looking back at me was unbelievable. Two clowns in a car. Yep, only two. But they were clowns in full makeup looking at me as they passed. “WTF,” I thought. And then they were gone, just like the other one.
Why? Why are all these clowns showing up? What is the meaning? Why are they following me? As far as omens go, this can’t be a good one. Randomly seeing three clowns in one day with no circus or parade going on? That is effing weird. Apparently I’m The Clown Whisperer. Enjoy your coulrophobia! Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

What I Did In The Haunted Library

 

As you can see from the pictures, the Ray P. Flower Library in Watertown, New York is a beautiful library inside and out. The library opened in 1905. The funds for the library were donated by Emma Flower Taylor in 1903 as a memorial to her father. Another girl with Daddy issues, am I right? Maybe that explains why these statues are there. Still trying to get daddy’s attention even in the after-life? Emma, when will you ever learn? 

 

I’m here tonight writing this from within the library. (The call is coming from inside the house! Who remembers that line from the movie When a Stranger Calls?)

The ghost of Emma has been spotted by both librarians and others visiting the library. Also, many have reported blood-curdling screams in the basement.  If there wasn’t a security guard and other people here I’d do a whole Blair Witch thing for you right now.

I am sitting in the room in the library that is dedicated to Emma Flower Taylor. My parents were both from this area and I share a surname with Miss Emma Flower Taylor. Could we be related? I have no idea, but it seems likely. 

I spent about 90 minutes hanging around this spectacular library. Sometimes I’d sit in one room or area for a bit and at other times I meandered through the halls and stairwells. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go to the basement. It was roped off.

I even spoke aloud to Emma when no one was around. Nothing. Hoping to provoke a response from her ghost I even did a cartwheel when no one was looking.

Between my cartwheel and my salt & pepper hair, I don’t know how a ghost with daddy issues could ignore me! 

If you’d like to hear some first-person accounts, here’s a video with some of the library staff discussing their experiences with Emma. 

Have a great Thursday, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

 

Dear President Obama

This is my open letter to you, President Obama, and yes, I know you’ll hear about this because Michelle subscribes to The Phil Factor on her Amazon Kindle  to read while she’s home alone when you’re on those “business trips.”

Look Barack, I’m glad you’re a sports fan. Good for you. You’re a regular guy just like the rest of us. What I’m not o.k. with is you going on ESPN every year to fill out your NCAA March Madness bracket. I’m not saying you can’t do one. Just don’t go on t.v. for 30 minutes to fill it out. 1) I don’t care about your picks unless you’re actually in the same office pool as me, and 2) IT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE PAYING YOU TO DO!!!

Here’s the deal: my taxes pay your salary, ergo, that makes me and every American your boss. Guess what? Wherever I’ve ever worked they frown on employees wasting time gambling. We usually hide the hours we spend researching our brackets from the boss. We don’t invite the boss to play, so that we can pretend we didn’t waste half the week filling out our brackets and collecting money from everyone. The boss knows we do it, but he or she also likes to pretend that their employees aren’t spending most of a week screwing off. But you, you don’t even pretend you’re working! You bring in Stuart Scott and set up a giant white board in your office and spend half a day explaining why Cals pick and roll has a real chance to give the Syracuse 2-3 zone fits in the 2nd round. Guess what Barack? I don’t care how much you know about basketball.

You know what I’d be really impressed with is if you pulled out a white board during your State of The Union address and showed a bracket full of evil dictators and communist countries that the U.S. is going to defeat.  If the whole world was hunky dory and we weren’t involved in any wars or recessions or gas prices were reasonable, sure, go ahead, take a breather and relax! It’s like as a kid, when your chores are done you can go out and play. But for the money you’re making I wanna see my President at work 24/7.

Just for being President for two terms you’re set for life financially and you get free lifetime security. That’s a pretty sweet deal. As part of that deal I kind of would like it if you didn’t treat that job like your own personal fantasy camp.  Since you took office there’s been more jocks in the White House than the Lambeau field locker room. Did I mention that me and everyone else are paying for that with our taxes? Yeah, now get back to work.

I’m not saying you can’t do an office pool with the cabinet. Remember when I said that the rest of us hide it from the boss when we waste work time on petty gambling? It’s when you get cocky and flaunt it in front of the boss that you get in trouble.  Here, if you’re so fond of petty gambling on the job, how about this: my NCAA bracket versus yours. You win, you get to stay President. I win, I get your job.   F3NQRYD6TB4J

If you’d like to support my NCAA tournament bracket you can check out my humorous murder mystery novel White Picket Prisons  on all the finest e-retailers. As always, if you like what you read here please hit the Facebook Like or Share buttons.

Dave Coulier?!!?

Does everyone remember that Alanis Morrissette song from a few years back where she’s really pissed about her boyfriend breaking up with her and getting a new girlfriend really quick? Everyone’s first thought upon hearing that song had to be, “This is the angriest, most bitter woman I’ve ever heard.” I just recently found out that the subject of her intense hatred in that song was Dave Coulier. If you just said, “Who’s Dave Coulier?” Let me remind you. Remember the sitcom from the early 1990’s, Full House? Now you’re remembering, right? Dave Coulier was the dorky, blonde, comedian who did cartoon character voices. Alanis, come on! You’ve got to be kidding me! You’re upset about losing that guy?!!? Those weren’t even original cartoon character voices he did. He was copying voices other people did. That’s not a real comedian, that’s the annoying kid in the lunch room in junior high. Apparently in Canada where Dave and Alanis are from he must be some sort of national hero, because I just don’t get why Alanis would mourn the loss of that guy. I mean really, over the last 10 years, how many of us have thought to ourselves, Gosh, I wish Dave Coulier was on TV more often”? I can see being upset over Bob Saget breaking up with you, but not Dave Coulier. And don’t even get me started on Uncle Jesse.