A timeless classic. I’m not Jewish, but I still love this song. Happy Hanukkah to all my friends who are lighting candles this week, and happy Monday to everyone else! Thanks for stopping by! ~ Phil
My Life-Long Friend Judy Izzum
You can purchase this t-shirt @ https://pixels.com/featured/funny-now-you-understand-hanukkah-jewish-felix.html
That pic above is the kind of information I didn’t have as a kid. I grew up as a Catholic kid in a middle class neighborhood in upstate New York. So, you would think that if I’m in New York there would be a lot of Jewish people around. You are sadly mistaken.
New York is a pretty big state. There’s upstate and downstate. Downstate is New York City, Long Island and a couple counties just north of New York City. That whole area is a five hour drive from where I live. The downstate area is filled with many unique, wonderful cultures, and the Jewish community is one of them. The upstate part of New York is more homogenized, although there are some quirky cultural things going on in different places.
This one is available on Amazon
When I grew up, I didn’t think that I knew anyone that was Jewish. I was sheltered. My Irish Catholic mother was too busy training me to be the next Pope. It wasn’t until I went away to college at 17 that I really discovered the Jewish religion. Many of my college friends were from downstate and chose to go to college upstate.
For me it was fun learning about the Jewish religion from my friends, and I was thrilled one year when my friend gave me a dreidel and taught me the song: “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it’s dried and ready, oh dreidel we will play.” Thank you my college friend Gary. That song has been in my head every December since we met.
After having many Jewish friends in college and learning what surnames were most likely to be Jewish, I realized that I had had Jewish friends my entire life and just didn’t know it.
As an adult I’ve always craved learning about other cultures and religions because I felt like I grew up very generically. Go watch That 70’s show. I think the parents in that show were modeled after my parents. In the picture below, I was most likely to be Eric (actor Topher Grace) in the top right.
At the end of the day though, there’s very little difference between religions and the people that practice them. Every religion has different repetitive, quirky traditions and every religion in the world is based on the “magic guy in the sky” premise, so who cares if someone wears a different hat or says a different prayer? At 17 I thought my Jewish friends were this new and interesting novelty when it turned out that I had Jewish friends my whole life.
If I was Jewish, this would be me every December
If I was Jewish, the above pic would be me every December. During the holiday season when Hanukkah and Christmas overlap, it feels like Hanukkah doesn’t get the big publicity that Christmas does, and that’s a shame because they have 8 days of one holiday. If that’s not an excuse to day drink, I don’t know what is.
Anyway, I just want to say Happy Hanukkah to all the Jewish friends that I’ve had in my life, even the ones that I didn’t know were Jewish. Now that they know I know, I hope they don’t expect eight presents times the number of years that I didn’t know they were Jewish.
If I could ask my Jewish friends two things: 1. Could you decide on one spelling of your holiday? And 2. Could you make Hanukkah start on the same date every year?
On a serious note, my heart and prayers go out to all the people in Australia today and all over the world that have been effected by the terrible atrocities committed in the name of religion.
Shalom and Happy Chanukah my friends~ Phil
Ten Reasons to Hate The Holidays
“You’re a mean one Mister Grinch. You really are a heel. You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mister Grinch. You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel.”
Yup, that’s me, king of sarcasm and hater of all things jolly. I’m not saying that there aren’t things to love about the holidays. There are plenty, but c’mon, if we’re truly being honest, there are a lot of things to hate about the holidays. Here’s my top ten. (Btw, tomorrow I’ll post Ten Reasons to Love The Holidays.)
10. The holidays mess up our Amazon orders! As much as we all love Amazon, there’s nothing more frustrating than the holiday season when our orders don’t always make it to us on time.
9. Candy Canes? Yes, candy canes are one of the worst parts of the holiday season. They are delicious and I love them, but I also hate them. Candy Canes are so ridiculously sticky that after the first refreshing hit of minty-ness, you realize that your lips and fingers are covered in a demonic sticky substance.
Pic from The Jewish News of Northern California
8. Having two major religious holidays during the same month is confusing! They are both great holidays, but why can’t we have them happen at the same time, or better yet, merge them into one holiday? I never know if I should be saying Happy Hannukah or Merry Christmas. Think about it, Christmas celebrates the birthday of a certain Jewish carpenter, so why not just pick a week and call it HanChristNukahMas? Also, if you want to read an awesomely funny novel about Jesus growing up as a teenager, read Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal. Before you buy that book, you should read my interview with the author Christopher Moore. One of the nicest people I’ve ever met in my years of blogging.
Pic & recipe can be found at Back To The Book Nutrition
7. The Nog Shortage: Much like the Fall Pumpkin Spice influx, the winter holiday season is everything nog this and nog that. It’s hard to find a beverage that doesn’t offer a nog flavored option. But if you like nog, you’re screwed about 8 weeks later. Apparently nog is such a rare and valuable commodity that it can only be offered for a limited time. I’m going to get rich by drilling a nog well in my backyard and then selling my nog at outrageous prices. I will also have a Nog Blog.
That’s a perfect pic and you can find an article about why we shouldn’t buy gifts for adults HERE
6. Buying Gifts for Adults: I came up with this idea on my own and found the above pic and USA Today column when I looked for a pic to match my Scrooge-like idea. Once you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, haven’t you either bought yourself whatever the hell you wanted to, or bought each other anything you each need. My wife and I just skip gifts and promise to buy each other whatever bauble strikes our fancy on the next vacation.
5. Holiday movies set in southern California: I hate them because the people always look so happy to go outside and hang lights on their palm trees. Jerks. They’re just flaunting their warm weather and lack of snow. If you want a holiday movie to make me happy, how about one where a bunch of So-Cal people are stranded by an avalanche in the Santa Monica mountains and they have to eat each other to survive.
4. Jack Black in The Holiday: I have enjoyed Jack Black’s work in many films, but this isn’t one of them. He’s the least convincing romantic character since Silence of The Lambs.
3. Commercials: I’ve never walked out to my driveway to find a car with a bow on it. I’ve seen versions of this commercial since I was a kid, setting me up with unrealistic expectations. Look, Bill Gates, I know you and your wife donate millions to charitable causes; just once could you skip a few mosquito nets and vaccines and have a Lexus delivered to my driveway?
2. Inconvenience: From now until January 2nd, leaving your house is going to be more inconvenient than usual. Just going out for groceries is now a Herculean task. Everything and everywhere have more people trying to do the same things.
This above scene is happening everywhere all the time right now. What is wrong with people?
1. Santa Claus: And you thought they’re milking the Batman and Spider-Man characters for all their worth? St. Nick hasn’t changed in centuries! Jeez, get that guy a cape and some superpowers. How awesome would that be if he had a nemesis that was out trying to stop him from delivering presents. God has the devil, Batman has the Joker, why can’t Santa have a nemesis?
Please put your holiday pet peeves in the comments. As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor don’t be a Grinch and share it by hitting the Facebook button below. Have a great Saturday and come back tomorrow for Ten Reasons To Love The Holidays! ~Phil
Posted in Holidays, Humor, pop culture, Uncategorized
Tagged holidays funny, ThePhilFactor
Did My Blog Make This Happen? Probably
Waymo self-driving car in front of Google’s San Francisco headquarters, San Francisco, California, June 7, 2024. (Photo by Smith Collection/Gado)
A month ago during my trip to California, I posted about my first rides in a driverless car, a Waymo. (You can read that post HERE)
This morning on the local news, I saw that State Senator Jeremy Cooney, who is chair of the Transportation Commitee, got the Waymo company to bring a car here to show people that they are not robot killer cars.
State Senator Jeremy Cooney is local, so I wonder if maybe a mutual local friend or a Facebook algorithym showed him my blog post, and he said to himself, “Damn, that’s cool. I’m going to get those space cars in New York and everyone will love me.”
Next year when he’s running for re-election or Governor, he’s going to tout this and it’s pretty doubful he’ll mention my blog, but mark my words, in idle conversation with friends and family, I am taking full credit for all his future political success. When he’s elected President, I expect that I will be his Vice-President. If I’m not, I’m going to reveal that his political success is in was built on my idea. That seems reasonable, right?
I hope you’re all having a great weekend! Thanks for reading! ~Phil
Posted in Current Events, Humor, Politics, politics, The Phil Factor
Why Does The Slab City Tree of Souls Continue To Haunt Me?
Back in 2013 when I was promoting my next novel, The Sneaker Tree, I’d post a picture of one of these “Sneaker Trees” that occur all over the world. Once within minutes of one of those posts @pkninjaz, Jazmin, a complete stranger from the other side of the country sent me the picture above. It is a picture of the Slab City, California shoe tree known as the Tree of Souls.
Ever since that blog post in 2013, I’ve gotten a steady stream of views of my post. It’s not the most popular thing I’ve ever written, but for some reason it never goes more than a day or two without a few reads. So I’m finally curious enough to want to figure out why.
That picture above is from Slab City, California. Slab City, nicknamed The Last Free Place in America is an unincorporated , off the grid area in the Sonoran Desert that is home to artists, bohemians and people seeking an alternative lifestyle.
That all sounds pretty cool, right? According to website LiveThatAdventure.com Slab City “is a crazy mixture of Mad Max, a post apocalyptic town, and an art museum.”
Pic from https://history.howstuffworks.com/
As I said earlier, I could probably live there. I like artsy people and stuff. Reportedly, there are about 150 year round residents and about another 150 or so snowbirds that show up in the winter months. The only thing keeping me from moving there is the “waste” situation. Slab City has a sewage system but no one knows where it goes. Some residents just have their own outhouses. Some have RV’s and they just drive to wherever to empty their tanks.
In the middle of the territory is a hill called East Jesus that one man turned into a place of worship.
East Jesus
Slab City seems like somewhere for me to visit and feature on my travel blog. Who wants to come with me?
Anyway, like I said, for some reason a lot of people want to know about that place regularly. Also, my book The Sneaker Tree is still for sale on Amazon and it’s literally Stranger Things but I wrote it long before someone made it into a Netflix series. I didn’t realize that until a book promoter hit me up and made the comparison. Btw, Stranger Things is coming back Nov. 26, but who wants to watch it now. Too long of a break, we’ve lost interest. Also the kids are all about 40 years old and have kids of their own. Netflix, you’ve jumped the shark on this one. Yeah, that’s right, I’m bringing back “jumped the shark.”
Thank’s for reading. Have a great week! ~Phil
Posted in Humor, pop culture, Uncategorized
Tagged shoe tree, Slab City, The Sneaker Tree
Hallmark Decided To GO BILLS !!!
Pic from Hallmarkchannel.com/movies
No, that isn’t a picture of me above. I’m the one in the back in green. Every year I have posted a version of the same holiday season post about Hallmark movies and how they all have the same plot over and over year after year. I do still think that’s true and might bring back that post at a later date. I know, phew, you were hoping for that. There’s a reason for my divergence from my usual holiday blog post routine…
Yep, I’m a Buffalo Bills fan. I didn’t grow up a Bills fan. I inherited that proclivity from my late wife. My childhood favorite team, the New York Jets, have not done anything interesting since 1969, so it was pretty easy for me to jump ship. The Bills have done very well over the past six years and are popular enought to earn themselves a Hallmark holiday movie. Despite how insipid it will be, I will be glued to the television on Saturday November 22nd watching it. Now that I think of it, I should got out to a local pub and watch it.
Starting last year, Hallmark is now doing a movie with teams and fans from different cities. The Bill’s are currently one of the best teams in the league but haven’t yet won a championship. Hopefully Hallmark can see past their usual format and do something different with these city specific movies. They did one last year in Kansas City, but I didn’t watch it because me and everyone in western New York, except my one neighbor, hate Kansas City. That’s why I didn’t link to the Kansas City Cheifs website. AS you are my readers, you must side with me and ignore Kansas City until The Bills win a championship.
If you watched that preview, yes, we do go around saying “Go Bills” everytime we see someone else in Buffalo Bills clothing. I’m curious, do you folks in the U.K. or elsewhere do that with your football teams?
Have a great Sunday, and I’ll see you on Saturday November 22nd when you’ll be watching the Bills Hallmark movie with me from wherever you live. THanks for reading! ~Phil
Posted in Humor
Tagged #GoBills, #Hallmark, Buffalo Bills, GO BILLS, Hallmark Christmas movies, ThePhilFactor
My Interview with a KPop Demon Hunter
KPop Demon Hunters band Huntr/x
Am I interviewing fictional characters as a fan? No, I am not. I’m also not proud to say that I might be the only American adult male over the ago of 50 and outside of Netflix, who has any idea who the KPop Demon Hunters are. I would imagine that many of you saw a number of KPop demon hunter costumes on Halloween weekend without knowing who the kids were pretending to be. I have interviewed fictional characters previously, but for some reason, I think this might get a few more reads from Google than my Bigfoot interview. The KPop Demon Hunters rarely give interviews, and especially not to “a blogger.”
For those of you not familiar with today’s guest, The Huntr/x girl band from South Korea is also secretly a group of demon hunters. You know I love the paranormal, so I was all in on getting an interview with another group of paranormal investigators. Her agent only let her agree to the interview on one condition; she has to remain anonymous. So she showed up in a mask.
I swear that’s not me, although the resemblance is remarkable. On with the interview!
Me: How do I know that you’re really a Kpop Demon Hunter if you’re in a mask? You could be her agent.
Anonymous KPop Demon Hunter: Don’t be ridiculous, little man. And don’t insult me. I will not dignify your question with an answer. That’s something Mira might do.
Me: So you’re not Mira? Hmm…
Anonymous KPop Demon Hunter: What? Shoot. No, yes, I’m Mira.
Me: So, who do you think is the best singer in the group?
Anonymous KPop Demon Hunter: Well it’s obviously Rumi.
Me: So you’re Rumi?
Anonymous KPop Demon Hunter: No, I’m not Rumi! Why would you say that?
Me: So you’re very clearly Zoey, right? For cripes sake. I haven’t had to talk to a teenage girl in years. I forgot how mind-numbing this can be.
Anonymous KPop Demon Hunter: Look little man, until yesterday I had never heard of (and she finger quoted with a super sarcastic tone here) The Phil Factor. You’re an effing blogger. If my uncle didn’t know you this would never have happened. Have you ever been to one of our concerts?
Me: Concert? I thought you gals were a cutesy paranormal investigating group. Do ghosts sing? Have you ever heard a ghost sing? If you sing so well, why haven’t you kids been nominated for a Grammy? If you’re real demon hunters, then why don’t you have any songs about orbs? You’re more like the KPoop Demon Hunters! And you’re all girls, shouldn’t you be demon huntresses?
At the same time we both stood up, tore the microphones off and stormed away in opposite directions. I’m sorry readers, I tried.
On a serious note, you have to give credit to whomever invented this crazy phenomenon by smashing together the KPop craze with the out of control paranormal interest.
Have a great weekend and thanks for reading! ~Phil
Posted in Humor, Movies, Music
Tagged KPop, KPop Demon Hunters, KPop Demon Hunters interview, ThePhilFactor
Is It Daylight Spending Time Again?
This is my bi-annual reminder that tonight in the United States we move our clocks forward by an hour and my reminder to you that it’s stupid. I’ve been posting this every Fall and Spring since 2006 and will continue to do so until the government does away with Daylight Savings Time.
When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law getting rid of Daylight Savings Time. I don’t know if all other countries do this. I do know that not all the U.S. states abide by it. Hawaii and Arizona have essentially told Daylight Savings to eff off. They don’t care if the rest of the world does it.
Daylight Savings Time was created in 1918 to give farmers more daylight in which to do their work in the fields. Call me crazy, but why the hell didn’t someone just suggest that the lazy ass farmers drag themselves out of a bed a little earlier each day? Because those cud chewing, overall wearing, udder jerking lay-abouts can’t be bothered to set their alarm clocks we’re all stuck changing time?
I don’t know if anyone else remembers this, but in 2007 the U.S. Congress, in another colossal waste of their time and our tax dollars, extended daylight savings time by a few weeks on either end.
First off, since it’s called daylight savings time because we are using less daylight in the winter months, why isn’t it called Daylight Spending time from March to November.
Secondly, at this point all the farmers (except the creepy Amish ones) have electricity and alarm clocks, which may not have been the case 120 years ago. I can get away with saying that about the Amish because my demographic data shows that for some reason I have very low readership among the Amish. I guess they just don’t get me.
Reportedly the reason Congress did this is to save energy. How will changing our clocks twice a year save energy? Don’t we set our thermostats and use heat based on the outdoor temperature, not how light out it is? I’d like to save the energy I expend changing my clocks! I’d like Congress to tell me when I get that back. Congress has again proven to be the biggest collection of morons outside of…well…I guess I can’t think of a bigger collection. Why doesn’t Congress set their alarm clocks an hour earlier so they can get up early and get more of this important work done?
B.T. dubs, if we set our clocks back an hour now but we turn them forward in the Spring, over the course of a year what difference does it make?
If we have learned anything from every single time travel movie, it’s that we shouldn’t muck about with time. Also, according to statistics, the day after we change our clocks there are more workplace injuries, car accidents, and for the day, a 10% rise in heart attacks. Also, all the sleep experts I consulted on Instagram say it’s bad.
I for one am not going to go for this stupid daylight savings time thing anymore. I don’t work at a farm or for Congress, so I told my boss that for 6 months I’ll be to work an hour early or late, however it works out. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, this is going to change!
If you’d like to support my bid for President or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook, share button below, but hurry because you have an hour less to do it in this weekend. Or is it an hour more? Have a great weekend!
Thanks for reading! ~Phil
Posted in Daylight Savings Time, Humor
Tagged Daylight Savings Time, Daylight Savings Time 2025, ThePhilFactor
My Recent Ghost Story
As many of you know, my wife passed away in June. Prior to her passing, whether she was on home hospice or inpatient hospice, she had that bell next to her bed so that she could summon me if I happened to be out of the room. We all know what these bells sound like, right?
After her passing and the funeral, I placed her beautiful urn on a shelf in the living room, and next to it, I placed the bell. A couple days later the bell rang…once. At least it sounded like the bell. I wasn’t in the same room when I heard it, so I looked around the house to see if there was anything else that could have caused that sound. I was the only person in the house and the cat was sound asleep, so it couldn’t have been him.
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- My cat not sleeping now
But the bell wasn’t the only hint that I might not be alone. About two weeks ago I was sitting at my desk in my home office when suddenly it felt like someone twirled their finger in my hair. Honestly, I can blame them, I have great hair. I checked the only heat vent in the room that was about 8 feet from me. Nothing. No air coming or going. It really felt like someone twirled their finger in my hair. Even though before my wife passed, I had told her to haunt me, that was a little unnerving.
That’s all I’ve had… in my home. On Tuesday of this week I was in a hotel in Boston due to work travel. After dinner in the hotel restaurant, I walked back to my room alone. When I came out of the elevator, I noticed what looked like a small, slightly bigger than a basketball, ethereal cloud moving slowly down the hallway on it’s own about 7 feet high. I reached up and touched it. I couldn’t feel anything, but me sticking my hand in it seemed to dissipate a chunk of it. It seemed to pause before continuing to float down the hallway. Not knowing what it was, I decided it was probably best to leave it be. If I’ve ever actually seen an actual ghost, that was it.
Six years ago I had a coworker who talked about ghosts and I thought she was nuts or attention getting. I never thought that I’d be that person.
So what do you think of my ghosty stories? Are there any logical things I’m overlooking?
Thanks for reading and Happy Halloween! ~Phil
There Are No Bad Actors
Pic courtesy of CareersInFilm.com
That’s right, I said it. There are no bad actors. There may be some spectacularly talented actors and actresses, but anyone you see on TV, in movies or on stage is far more talented than you and I. I don’t care if it’s at your local playhouse in the middle of some podunk town, those actresses and actors are better than us at what they do. That dorky guy that plays the pharmacist in the commercial is better than you and me.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m so suddenly advocating for a little love for the bit actors actors and actresses that played the waiter in the restaurant in that movie.
The reason I’m on this little rant is because over the past week and a half I spent time in Hollywood. Well, not really in Hollywood, although I was close enough that I could have hung around Hollywood. I’ve been there, done that. When I was Hollywood adjacent, I spent a lot of time with actors, actresses, and a movie crew, which included my son.
Pic from Collider.com
While I was there, my son, who used to say “C’s get degrees” is currently the writer and boss man director of a 12 ring circus that changes on a dime almost constantly. In two minutes he can completely turn a scene around if he or someone else has an idea, and all these people follow his lead.
A key part of that circus is the actors and actresses. I know that both you and I have at some point said something like “He’s a terrible actor. I could do that! ” I used to be that way. But now that I see how the gravy is made, I have a ton of respect for actors and actresses, and anyone who works on a movie.
My son invited me to visit him in California just so he could put me in a scene in his latest project. Years ago, I initially went to college for broadcasting. Before I changed majors I had classes where we had a full newsroom set up and once I had to read and say the name of golfer Mark Calcavecchia off the teleprompter without warning and I nailed it.
In the 1990’s I did stand-up comedy at regional bars and was pretty decent. So, with plenty of experience on stage talking in front of people, I figured that saying two lines in about 20 seconds would be a piece of cake.
A week before I came out to Cali, (That’s what me and the natives call it) my son gave me the scene and the kind of lines he wanted me to improv. I practiced them at home for days before I flew out to start my new Hollywood career. Then, one actor couldn’t make the filming day, so on a dime my son created a different scene and put me in it. I only had two lines and instructions regarding my demeanor. Two lines and 20 seconds took at least 5 minutes filming and three takes for me to get those 20 seconds to be even be passable.
My scene was filmed first thing in the morning and throughout the day I spent time with the the actors and actresses just to say out of the way of the filming crew. It was a thoroughly enjoyable several hours. We all occupied a room and every so often someone from the crew would open the door and say “Hey, we need Sophia and Javier” or whoever’s turn it was to have their scene filmed.
They’d leave and the rest of us just talked and joked around all day. A lot of the other actors have been in things you’ve seen, whether it was a commercial or a background person, in movies or shows. Each and every one of them had regular jobs and were working their butts off at those and at being in small movies like this one. We had smart, funny and interesting conversation all day.
That’s why I think we should all be a little less judgy about actors and actresses. The people are not their characters. I appreciate so much more how difficult what they do is. It’s a marathon. You’s don’t know until you walk in someone else’s shoes, and I’m certain that at least a few of the young actors I met will be big stars one day. And I’ll say I knew them when…
Oh, and part of my Hollywood trip was getting a hug from a guy who won an Emmy Award for engineering the sound for a show. Thanks Conor, those gadgets you made completely changed the way this movie was filmed. You rock!
Have a great day, and thanks for reading! ~Phil. (If you’re interested in my touristy review of Santa Monica, you can read it HERE)
