Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

The Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

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7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

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4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

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1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil

Throwback Valentine’s Thursday! Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

9d4c2a0dbdd9e271c4d21661b682ff36

7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

download-25

4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

images-17

1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday! Angst Away! The Cure for That Valentine’s Stench

(02/15/14) That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s Angst Away! The body spray that covers up your pure hatred of Valentine’s Day! Can you smell it? A day after Valentine’s Day the smell of romantic angst everywhere is starting to fade.

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Look, I don’t have all the answers in life. I’m just a boy, standing in front of a computer asking you to read my blog, which in my world equates to love. If I get that little “like” click or God forbid, (gasp), a comment, I suddenly turn into Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch. Yeah, how’d that work out for you Tom?

Back to Valentine’s Day. Scrolling through my blog feed yesterday I saw/read more Valentine’s Day angst than I’ve ever seen. Some were trying to identify the perfect Valentine’s Day, some wanted to promote the even keel approach to showing love every day, and others decried the whole holiday as a giant societal “F you” to anyone who doesn’t currently have a romantic partner.

My thought is this: Jeez, lighten up everybody. Valentine’s Day is not out to get you. It’s not out to tell you anything about your life. Do you get upset around Labor Day because other people work harder than you? Don’t be an idiot. Your perspective is like a telescope. You only see what you choose to aim it at.

Over the past several years most of American society has been completely nuts for The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad, both very romantic shows. Well guess what? I don’t care. I’m sure they’re great TV shows, but they’re not a big deal for me. If people want to enjoy those shows, great for them. It’s fun to have something in common to talk about with others, but I don’t think I’m an incomplete person because I don’t watch them and I don’t stress if I missed the season finale.

Valentine’s Day should be treated the same way. If you don’t like it, change the channel, focus on something else. I’ll let you in on a little secret.  I’ve noticed a pattern. Valentine’s Day happens every year on February 14th, then it goes away, and guess what? You’re still here and so is everyone else. You’d better keep your guard up though because St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and those happy Irish folks are also out to make you feel bad because you don’t have a shamrock tattooed on your ass. (I’m not saying I do or don’t. It might just be an example.)

Like I said, I don’t have all the answers. I have a blog and my perspective. You have your perspective too, and you can change it if you want. Have a great weekend and if you liked #ThePhilFactor show me a little love by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, reblog, or other share button below.

Picture Credits: themetapicture.com and o.canada.com

Top Ten Tuesday! Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

9d4c2a0dbdd9e271c4d21661b682ff36

7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

download-25

4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

images-17

1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil

#PHIL2020

Top Ten Tuesday! Top Ten Rejected Candy Heart Sayings

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You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.

10. It’s not you, it’s me

9. Not a cold sore

8. Maybe Next Time

9d4c2a0dbdd9e271c4d21661b682ff36

7. Better late than never

6. It’s eczema. Yes, there.  I swear.

5. The Phil Factor

download-25

4. My last test was clean

3. You paying for dinner?

2. Almost divorced

images-17

1. It’s not yours!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?

Have a great day, Valentine’s or otherwise! ~Phil

Happy Singles Awareness Day !

SAD

Yes! Tomorrow is finally Singles Awareness Day! Yup, it’s a real thing. I found it on Wikipedia, so it must be true. Have you bought yourself or someone else a Happy Singles Awareness Day card yet? Every other blog on the interwebs will bring you a post about love or Valentine’s Day this weekend. That’s why you come to #ThePhilFactor. I take a left turn when everyone else is going right. (usually when people tell you how awesome they are like I just did, it’s never true, but in this case that shoe fits like a glove)

Love doesn’t need it’s own holiday! Love is celebrated at anniversary’s, birthdays, and just about any holiday where partners give gifts. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will pass a law mandating that Valentine’s Day AND Singles Awareness Day be celebrated equally. I will also mandate that unless February 14 falls on a Friday or Saturday, everyone has the next day off of work.

Somebody's etsy store

Somebody’s etsy store

Think about it! Relationships are constantly celebrated! There’s big parties about 50 year anniversaries. There’s local news features about the geriatric couple in the nursing home that have been married 75 years. Why not a little pop culture celebration of the singles life? On Singles Awareness Day guys can go out an do singles guy things like hang out with their bros and watch a game or go hunting. The singles ladies can take the day to get mani-pedi’s, go shopping,and  have margaritas with their other single friends in a bar where the guys go to celebrate after their day of single awesomeness.

Or you could pop over to Finland where Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä, which translates into “Friend’s day”. It’s more about celebrating your buddies than your loved ones. Of course Finland also has an astronomically high suicide rate, but I’m sure those two facts are totally unrelated.

Relationships and married life are great and have their advantages, but so does the single life. All of you married people out there, don’t you sometimes wish that you could do things on your own schedule? Don’t you sometimes wish you could choose what’s for dinner every night? Guys, would you rather see Deadpool this weekend, or The Choice? Sometimes if you’re married you don’t always have a choice. All the guys, and a few of the ladies reading this) said to themselves “Hell yeah I wanna see Deadpool!” At the same time, all the guys in long term relationships said, “I don’t know what The Choice is, but my wife/partner said we’re going to see it tonight.” (I’m going to see Deadpool today. Anybody want me to write a review tomorrow?)

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Being single is all about choices. Choices YOU get to make. Don’t bemoan the lack of another in your life this weekend, celebrate it. You choose when you get up, what you eat and where you go. And you can even try to choose who you go home with at the end of Singles Awareness Day!

Like I said, Singles Awareness Day is all about choices, so if you want, you can choose to show your love for #ThePhilFactor by sharing this by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

Throwback Saturday? The Present Tense

This post is for all the guys that may still be scrambling for a last minute gift for Valentine’s Day. For the ladies it may help you when you think to yourself, “What the hell was he thinking?” It was originally posted in 2006. Yes, I was blogging back then. It is also an excerpt from my book #FiftyShades of Phil.

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The Present Tense

How we communicate, what’s important to us, and the inequities of societal grooming expectations are all ways men and women differ. Another great divide between the sexes is our views on presents. Anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas can all make or break a relationship from a woman’s perspective. My current quandary is Valentine’s Day is coming up and I have the pressure of choosing a present. My problem is that I think of presents like a guy and she thinks of presents like a woman. Here are a few examples of how men and women might view the same present differently and why I’m terrified of choosing and may just give her cash.

Example 1

Guy: Happy Anniversary honey! Here’s a card, a dozen roses, and I’ve taken out a second mortgage so I can fly you to Paris for a candlelight dinner on top of the Eiffel Tower!

Woman: You are so sweet! With all my work this week I didn’t have time to get you a present. I’m sorry. How about if I make it up to you (wink, wink) back at the hotel after dinner?

Guy: YAHTZEE! (fist pump)

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Example 2:

Woman: Happy Anniversary honey! Here’s a card and a present!

Guy: An Ipad6! Thanks baby, this is great! With all my work this week I didn’t have time to get you a present. I’m sorry. How about if I make it up to you (wink, wink) in the bedroom tonight? (sly smile)

Woman: You forgot! How could you be so thoughtless?!!? You can sleep on the couch tonight! (storms out, door slams) (Calm down all you tech geeks, the IPad 6 isn’t out yet)

Sometimes even the presents themselves can mean different things to men and women. Here are some examples of presents men might give, how we mean them, and what they mean to women.

1. A romantic card with breakfast in bed, flowers sent to your work, and a nice dinner out.

What men are trying to say: “Will you sleep with me?”

What women think: “He’s a sweet, thoughtful guy.”

2. A safety kit for your car with road flares, tools, and a shovel.

What men are trying to say: “I love you and I want you to be safe.”

What women think: “What a thoughtless, un-romantic oaf.”

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3. Lingerie

What men are trying to say: “I think you are a beautiful, sexy woman.”

What women think: “That selfish bastard is thinking with his little head instead of his big head.”

4. Any kind of home appliance.

What men are trying to say: “I’ve noticed how hard you work. I want to make your life easier.”

What women think:

“If this isn’t grounds for justifiable homicide, I don’t know what is!”

All of this thinking out loud isn’t getting me any closer to choosing a present. If you’ve got any suggestions I’d love to hear them in the comments section below. If you enjoy my nonsense check out my books on Amazon, B&N and the iTunes bookstore so I can afford to buy my wife a present that adequately compensates her for being married to me. As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor or know some one who needs some present buying guidance, please share on Facebook or Twitter by the buttons below.