Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but I traditionally post this list the day after and enjoy all the fun additional suggestions in the comments from readers. Feel free to add your ideas below and maybe they’ll make the list next year!
You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.
10. It’s not you, it’s me
9. Not a cold sore
8. Maybe Next Time
7. Better late than never
6. It’s eczema. Yes, there. I swear.
5. The Phil Factor
4. My last test was clean
3. You paying for dinner?
2. Almost divorced
1. It’s not yours!
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s Angst Away! The body spray that covers up your pure hatred of Valentine’s Day! Can you smell it? A day after Valentine’s Day the smell of romantic angst everywhere will be starting to fade.
Look, I don’t have all the answers in life. I’m just a boy, standing in front of a computer asking you to read my blog, which in my world equates to love. If I get that little “like” click or God forbid, (gasp), a comment, I suddenly turn into Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch. Yeah, how’d that work out for you Tom? (click the link to watch that cringey moment in all it’s glory) Am I the only one who remembers this idiot moment?
Back to Valentine’s Day. Scrolling through my Twitter feed today, I saw/read more Valentine’s Day angst than I’ve ever seen. Some were trying to identify the perfect Valentine’s Day, some wanted to promote the even keel approach to showing love every day, and others decried the whole holiday as a giant societal “F-you” to anyone who doesn’t currently have a romantic partner.
My thought is this: Jeez, lighten up everybody. Valentine’s Day is not out to get you. It’s not out to tell you anything about your life. Do you get upset around Labor Day because other people work harder than you? Don’t be an idiot. Your perspective is like a telescope. You only see what you choose to aim it at.
Over the past decade most of American society was completely nuts for The Handmaid’s Tale and Yellowstone, both very romantic shows. Well guess what? I don’t care. I’m sure they’re great TV shows, but they’re not a big deal for me. If people want to enjoy those shows, great for them. It’s fun to have something in common to talk about with others, but I don’t think I’m an incomplete person because I don’t watch them and I don’t stress if I missed the season finale.
Valentine’s Day should be treated the same way. If you don’t like it, change the channel, focus on something else. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ve noticed a pattern. Valentine’s Day happens every year on February 14th, then it goes away, and guess what? You’re still here and so is everyone else. You’d better keep your guard up though because St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and those happy Irish folks are also out to make you feel bad because you don’t have a shamrock tattooed on your ass. (I’m not saying I do or don’t. It might just be an example.)
Like I said, I don’t have all the answers. I have a blog and my perspective. You have your perspective too, and you can change it if you want. Have a great week and if you liked #ThePhilFactor show me a little love by hitting the Facebook or Twitter share buttons below.
Love, exciting and new. Come aboard. We’re expecting you! If you can sing the rest of the lyrics, you are my people. Despite the fact that even before Covid, cruises were already floating petri dishes of disease, people still love cruises and the cruise culture unlike anything else.
Yes, it’s nice to know that I effected some change, but this didn’t work out the way I planned. What am I talking about? I’m talking about how two years ago on this exact day I wrote THIS POST advocating for The Love Boat show to be revived, and god damn it was a hilarious post. Now two years later, which is about how long it takes to launch a new show, we have the new Love Boat.
I was hoping for corny plots and B-list celebs trying to hook up, but what I got is a reality dating show. Essentially it’s the same thing; people who can’t act trying to hook up on the Lido deck.
Mandatory Credit: Photo by MediaPunch/Shutterstock (12622686aj)
Jerry, I loved you in Stand By Me, but what the hell happened to your eyebrows? Are those real? You know, in a year or two when you stop dyeing them, they’re going to be full on mad scientist eyebrows. Am I the only one that thinks of him as Scary Jerry now? OK, OK, I guess it’s just sour grapes on my part because they didn’t choose me to host the new Love Boat show. Not even a writer credit or anything. I hope it tanks.
Are any of you reading this watching the show? Let me know in the comments if it’s any good?
Have a great Monday and a Happy Valentine’s Day! ~ Phil
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s Angst Away! The body spray that covers up your pure hatred of Valentine’s Day! Can you smell it? A day after Valentine’s Day the smell of romantic angst everywhere will be starting to fade.
Look, I don’t have all the answers in life. I’m just a boy, standing in front of a computer asking you to read my blog, which in my world equates to love. If I get that little “like” click or God forbid, (gasp), a comment, I suddenly turn into Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch. Yeah, how’d that work out for you Tom? (click the link to watch that cringey moment in all it’s glory)
Back to Valentine’s Day. Scrolling through my blog feed yesterday I saw/read more Valentine’s Day angst than I’ve ever seen. Some were trying to identify the perfect Valentine’s Day, some wanted to promote the even keel approach to showing love every day, and others decried the whole holiday as a giant societal “F-you” to anyone who doesn’t currently have a romantic partner.
My thought is this: Jeez, lighten up everybody. Valentine’s Day is not out to get you. It’s not out to tell you anything about your life. Do you get upset around Labor Day because other people work harder than you? Don’t be an idiot. Your perspective is like a telescope. You only see what you choose to aim it at.
Over the past decade most of American society was completely nuts for Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad, both very romantic shows. Well guess what? I don’t care. I’m sure they’re great TV shows, but they’re not a big deal for me. If people want to enjoy those shows, great for them. It’s fun to have something in common to talk about with others, but I don’t think I’m an incomplete person because I don’t watch them and I don’t stress if I missed the season finale.
Valentine’s Day should be treated the same way. If you don’t like it, change the channel, focus on something else. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ve noticed a pattern. Valentine’s Day happens every year on February 14th, then it goes away, and guess what? You’re still here and so is everyone else. You’d better keep your guard up though because St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and those happy Irish folks are also out to make you feel bad because you don’t have a shamrock tattooed on your ass. (I’m not saying I do or don’t. It might just be an example.)
Like I said, I don’t have all the answers. I have a blog and my perspective. You have your perspective too, and you can change it if you want. Have a great week and if you liked #ThePhilFactor show me a little love by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, reblog, or other share button below.
You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.
10. It’s not you, it’s me
9. Not a cold sore
8. Maybe Next Time
7. Better late than never
6. It’s eczema. Yes, there. I swear.
5. The Phil Factor
4. My last test was clean
3. You paying for dinner?
2. Almost divorced
1. It’s not yours!
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?
You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.
10. It’s not you, it’s me
9. Not a cold sore
8. Maybe Next Time
7. Better late than never
6. It’s eczema. Yes, there. I swear.
5. The Phil Factor
4. My last test was clean
3. You paying for dinner?
2. Almost divorced
1. It’s not yours!
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?
(02/15/14) That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s Angst Away! The body spray that covers up your pure hatred of Valentine’s Day! Can you smell it? A day after Valentine’s Day the smell of romantic angst everywhere is starting to fade.
Look, I don’t have all the answers in life. I’m just a boy, standing in front of a computer asking you to read my blog, which in my world equates to love. If I get that little “like” click or God forbid, (gasp), a comment, I suddenly turn into Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch. Yeah, how’d that work out for you Tom?
Back to Valentine’s Day. Scrolling through my blog feed yesterday I saw/read more Valentine’s Day angst than I’ve ever seen. Some were trying to identify the perfect Valentine’s Day, some wanted to promote the even keel approach to showing love every day, and others decried the whole holiday as a giant societal “F you” to anyone who doesn’t currently have a romantic partner.
My thought is this: Jeez, lighten up everybody. Valentine’s Day is not out to get you. It’s not out to tell you anything about your life. Do you get upset around Labor Day because other people work harder than you? Don’t be an idiot. Your perspective is like a telescope. You only see what you choose to aim it at.
Over the past several years most of American society has been completely nuts for The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad, both very romantic shows. Well guess what? I don’t care. I’m sure they’re great TV shows, but they’re not a big deal for me. If people want to enjoy those shows, great for them. It’s fun to have something in common to talk about with others, but I don’t think I’m an incomplete person because I don’t watch them and I don’t stress if I missed the season finale.
Valentine’s Day should be treated the same way. If you don’t like it, change the channel, focus on something else. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ve noticed a pattern. Valentine’s Day happens every year on February 14th, then it goes away, and guess what? You’re still here and so is everyone else. You’d better keep your guard up though because St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and those happy Irish folks are also out to make you feel bad because you don’t have a shamrock tattooed on your ass. (I’m not saying I do or don’t. It might just be an example.)
Like I said, I don’t have all the answers. I have a blog and my perspective. You have your perspective too, and you can change it if you want. Have a great weekend and if you liked #ThePhilFactor show me a little love by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, reblog, or other share button below.
Picture Credits: themetapicture.com and o.canada.com
You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.
10. It’s not you, it’s me
9. Not a cold sore
8. Maybe Next Time
7. Better late than never
6. It’s eczema. Yes, there. I swear.
5. The Phil Factor
4. My last test was clean
3. You paying for dinner?
2. Almost divorced
1. It’s not yours!
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?
You know those chalky candy hearts that for the better part of a century have been shared on Valentine’s Day? They’re so cute with their little candy inscriptions of “I love you” or “Hugs” or other nonsense. I imagine though that there were some ideas that didn’t make it.
10. It’s not you, it’s me
9. Not a cold sore
8. Maybe Next Time
7. Better late than never
6. It’s eczema. Yes, there. I swear.
5. The Phil Factor
4. My last test was clean
3. You paying for dinner?
2. Almost divorced
1. It’s not yours!
Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! One of the things I’m in love with is comments. What are your funny ideas for rejected candy hearts sayings?
(originally published 02/15/14) That’s right ladies and gentlemen, it’s Angst Away! The body spray that covers up your pure hatred of Valentine’s Day! Can you smell it? A day after Valentine’s Day the smell of romantic angst everywhere is starting to fade.
Look, I don’t have all the answers in life. I’m just a boy, standing in front of a computer asking you to read my blog, which in my world equates to love. If I get that little “like” click or God forbid, (gasp), a comment, I suddenly turn into Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah’s couch. Yeah, how’d that work out for you Tom?
Back to Valentine’s Day. Scrolling through my blog feed yesterday I saw/read more Valentine’s Day angst than I’ve ever seen. Some were trying to identify the perfect Valentine’s Day, some wanted to promote the even keel approach to showing love every day, and others decried the whole holiday as a giant societal “F you” to anyone who doesn’t currently have a romantic partner.
My thought is this: Jeez, lighten up everybody. Valentine’s Day is not out to get you. It’s not out to tell you anything about your life. Do you get upset around Labor Day because other people work harder than you? Don’t be an idiot. Your perspective is like a telescope. You only see what you choose to aim it at. Over the past several years most of American society has been completely nuts for The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad, both very romantic shows. Well guess what? I don’t care. I’m sure they’re great TV shows, but they’re not a big deal for me. If people want to enjoy those shows, great for them. It’s fun to have something in common to talk about with others, but I don’t think I’m an incomplete person because I don’t watch them and I don’t stress if I missed the season finale.
Valentine’s Day should be treated the same way. If you don’t like it, change the channel, focus on something else. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’ve noticed a pattern. Valentine’s Day happens every year on February 14th, then it goes away, and guess what? You’re still here and so is everyone else. You’d better keep your guard up though because St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner and those happy Irish folks are also out to make you feel bad because you don’t have a shamrock tattooed on your ass. (I’m not saying I do or don’t. It might just be an example.)
Like I said, I don’t have all the answers. I have a blog and my perspective. You have your perspective too, and you can change it if you want. Have a great weekend and if you liked #ThePhilFactor show me a little love by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, reblog, or other share button below.
Picture Credits: themetapicture.com and o.canada.com
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor.
thephilfactor.com
This giant tree knocking over a bunch of tombstones in the cemetery near my house shouldn’t lead to any trouble, ri… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…1 day ago
