Who doesn’t love this old movie? Especially since Bill Murray‘s character was named Phil. And, the groundhog is also named Phil. Coincidence? I think not. This post was originally written for #ThePhilFactor on Feb. 2, 2006 and I now post it every year, over and over, just like Phil’s Groundhog Day in the movie.
The dimwitted people of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania have been shoving a rodent through a hole in a tree stump for almost 200 hundred years to find out if there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Hey morons, you live in the Northeast! There’s always 6 more weeks of winter! Check the calendar! It says that Spring starts on March 21st. That’s 7 weeks from now. You don’t need a rat being spooked by his shadow to figure this one out.
I’m always a sucker for a good Phil pun
At this point I’m getting tired of all these wanna-be Phil’s trying to horn in on my fame. If, coincidentally, a shot were to ring out in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today and a certain rodent were to explode in a puff of fur, I was kidding when I wrote this. Although, over the last few years, I have had to travel to Punxsutawney for work, but I make sure to cover my tracks. No harm meant, just a joke. You’ll all be my alibi right?
I’m curious, for those of you from other countries, do you have a Groundhog Day? As always, if you enjoyed this vintage Phil Factor feel free to share it via the social media buttons below. Come back Saturday for a brand new Phil Factor. Have a great Sunday! Phil
I’m not Jewish but I still love this song. Happy Hannukah to all my friends who are lighting candles this week, and Happy Monday to everyone else. ~Phil
About two weeks ago I posted my Ten Reasons to Hate The Holidays. If you haven’t read that, then you need to. It’s a prerequisite. Now I’m providing this as proof that I’m not some Ebenezer Scrooge or Grinch.
10. Ridiculous Holiday Light Displays: That’s not my house but I wish it was. I love people that take the decorating and lights waaaay too far. I wish we could do it all year long. If there’s a neighborhood that decorates all year long, let me know. I’ll move there.
9. Getting presents: Well duh! Free stuff that we didn’t know we needed or wanted? Yes please! Notice that the presents are only 9th on my list? That’s because I’m not superficial and materialistic.
8. Nutcrackers: I buy my nuts pre-cracked but I love these guys anyway for no good reason. As much as I love them I’d also love Stephen King, or maybe me, to write a Christmas horror story where nutcrackers come to life and terrorize people like Chuckie. Imagine how creepy they’d be if you added sharp teeth! (Yes, that herd of nutcrackers is at my house staring at me right now)
7. Holiday Movies: Check back here on Tuesday for my list of the ten best holiday movies.
6. Time off from work: Let’s be honest, how many of us love our job so much that we’d do it even if we didn’t get paid? Bueller? Bueller? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m taking the week off between Christmas and New Years. Don’t worry, I’ll still keep blogging because I’d do that even if they didn’t pay me.
5. Holiday Specials: Come back in two weeks for my top ten holiday specials. The Grinch is a total badass but he’s not number 1 on that list.
4. Awkward Family Holiday Photos: I don’t care if they’re real or fake, they’re funny. I hope someday to create my own that becomes a meme on the internet.
3. Sometimes jerks try a little harder not to be: Including me. I don’t think I’m a jerk, but it’s nice that me and most other people try a little harder to be cordial, except at the mall.
2. My holiday tie collection: Yes, this is one you should love too. This year I own enough holiday themed ties that I can wear a different one every work day from Thanksgiving until Christmas. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you’ve probably seen them.
1. _________________________
Number 1 is left blank for you. What is it that you love about the holidays above all else? Put in the comments what you love most about Hanukkah or Christmas. Have a great Tuesday!~Phil
That pic above is the kind of information I didn’t have as a kid. I grew up as a Catholic kid in a middle class neighborhood in upstate New York. So, you would think that if I’m in New York there would be a lot of Jewish people around. You are sadly mistaken.
New York is a pretty big state. There’s upstate and downstate. Downstate is New York City, Long Island and a couple counties just north of New York City. That whole area is a five hour drive from where I live. The downstate area is filled with many unique, wonderful cultures, and the Jewish community is one of them. The upstate part of New York is more homogenized, although there are some quirky cultural things going on in different places.
This one is available on Amazon
When I grew up, I didn’t think that I knew anyone that was Jewish. I was sheltered. My Irish Catholic mother was too busy training me to be the next Pope. It wasn’t until I went away to college at 17 that I really discovered the Jewish religion. Many of my college friends were from downstate and chose to go to college upstate.
For me it was fun learning about the Jewish religion from my friends, and I was thrilled one year when my friend gave me a dreidel and taught me the song: “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made it out of clay, and when it’s dried and ready, oh dreidel we will play.” Thank you my college friend Gary. That song has been in my head every December since we met.
After having many Jewish friends in college and learning what surnames were most likely to be Jewish, I realized that I had had Jewish friends my entire life and just didn’t know it.
As an adult I’ve always craved learning about other cultures and religions because I felt like I grew up very generically. Go watch That 70’s show. I think the parents in that show were modeled after my parents. In the picture below, I was most likely to be Eric (actor Topher Grace) in the top right.
At the end of the day though, there’s almost really no difference between religions and the people that practice them. Every religion has different repetitive, quirky traditions and every religion in the world is based on the “magic guy in the sky” premise, so who cares if someone wears a different hat or says a different prayer? At 17 I thought my Jewish friends were this new and interesting novelty when it turned out that I had Jewish friends my whole life.
If I was Jewish, this would be me every December
If I was Jewish, this would be me every December. During the holiday season when Hanukkah and Christmas overlap, it feels like Hanukah doesn’t get the big publicity that Christmas does, and that’s a shame because they have 8 days of one holiday. If that’s not an excuse to day drink, I don’t know what is.
Anyway, I just want to say Happy Hanukkahto all the Jewish friends that I’ve had in my life, even the ones that I didn’t know were Jewish. Now that they know I know, I hope they don’t expect eight presents times the number of years that I didn’t know they were Jewish.
If I could ask my Jewish friends two things: 1. Could you decide on one spelling of your holiday? And 2. Could you make Hanukkah start on the same date every year?
Rest in peace Matthew Perry. Thanks for the laughs
Don’t we all love the holiday episodes of our favorite shows? If you’re not into football this week, then dial up Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime TV on Thursday and watch these ten laugh out loud episodes from the past that will entertain you all day long. I’ve only included ones that I’ve seen, so if you can think of some others, say so in the comments! I apologize to my international readers that this list is American centric. If you can think of your favorite holiday episodes from your country, please put them in the comments so we can discover new shows!
10. Cheers: Thanksgiving Orphans, Season 5, episode 9.
Everyone’s plans coincidentally fall through, as they only can on a sit-com and Carla hosts dinner for the gang. It ends in an epic food fight where we nearly get to see Norm’s wife, Vera. Find it on Amazon, Netflix and Hulu
9. The Office, WUPHF.com, season 7, episode 9.
Dwight hosts a fall festival in the parking lot so he can crown himself Hay King while Ryan tries to sell the office on his uber-connectivity app WUPHF.com. Find it on Netflix.
8. New Girl, season 4 episode 9, Bangsgiving
This episode features the gang staying home for Thanksgiving in their L.A. loft. As fate would have it, they all happen to be single at the time, so they set up a Secret Santa sort of arrangement where they draw names from a hat and they have to invite a Bangsgiving date for the person they picked. Hijinks ensue. Find it on Peacock.
7. South Park, season 4 episode 13, Hellen Keller! The Musical
I think that the title, Hellen Keller! The Musical says all you need to know about this. Find it on HBOMax.
6. That 70’s Show, season 1, episode 9, Thanksgiving
THAT ’70S SHOW
Eric gets hit on by his sister’s slutty friend and Donna is not happy about it. Eric’s mom Kitty is stressed about Red’s mom coming to dinner and they both forget to pick her up. Find it on Amazon Prime Video
5. Seinfeld, season 6, episode 8, The Mom and Pop store
Elaine helps her boss, Mr. Pitt, win a contest to pilot the Woody Woodpecker balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. His joy is short lived when Jerry drops an Empire State Building statue out the window and punctures the Woody Woodpecker balloon. In this episode Jerry walks around in a new pair of slippery cowboy boots and George buys a LeBaron convertible that he believes belonged to actor Jon Voight. Find it on Netflix.
4. WKRP in Cincinnati, season 1 episode 7, Turkeys Away
Yes, this is definitely an oldie, but it’s definitely one of the funniest Thanksgiving episodes of any show I’ve ever seen. If you don’t know the WKRP in Cincinnati series, it’s definitely worth a watch, and this episode is laugh out loud funny. Find it on AppleTV and Amazon Prime.
3. Roseanne, season 4 episode 10, We Gather Together
The Connors always knew how to make great holiday episodes. Their Halloween episodes are legendary and their Thanksgivings aren’t far behind. Find it on Amazon Prime Video.
2. How I Met Your Mother, season 3 episode 9, Slapsgiving
Due to a bet from a previous season, Marshall won the right to slap Barney 5 times over the rest of their lifetimes. He decides that Thanksgiving, aka Slapsgiving, is just the right day after building the suspense for weeks. At the end Marshall plays the piano and sings a song about the slap. Find it on Hulu
1. Friends, The One with All the Thanksgivings, Season 5, Episode 8
This episode of course has Monica with the turkey on her head, but it’s also got a bunch of fun flashbacks from the gangs Thanksgivings as well as their distant past. Find it on Netflix.
That’s my Top Ten. If you’ve got some favorite Thanksgiving episodes from other shows, please put them in the comments ! I hope you’re having a great weekend! ~Phil
In the “States” and many other countries we may be excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up, but we’re overlooking a big holiday that is occurring tomorrow. Because of the continued popularity of my post Real Sexting Conversations to Read in Hindi?I thought I would branch out my humorous holiday coverage to include the Hindu holiday of Diwali, which starts tomorrow.
Before we go any further, Hindi is the language that is spoken by most, or is it moist, people in India? Let’s face it, everyone in India is probably moist all the time. It’s more overpopulated than Miami during Spring break and the average winter temp in India is 107 degrees Fahrenheit (42 C). Ok, Hindi is a language and Hindu is a religion. You can speak Hindi without being Hindu and vice-versa, but most people who speak Hindi happen to be Hindu.
I figured that because so many Hindi people also visit my site for dating advice, like I gave in my post How Ron Burgundy Will Save Hindi Sex , that I would continue to court their growing influence in the blogosphere by writing about one of their biggest holidays.
For the rest of you, here is some info to help you understand why this is such a big holiday: Diwali, or Deepavali, as it is sometimes called. Look, I know there are a lot of people in India, but why can’t you all agree on one name for the holiday? The rest of us have Christmas period. We don’t call it anything else. Diwali is the Festival of Lights. It’s a celebration of light over darkness, or good over evil. Good over evil? Awesome. Who isn’t down with that, right? It’s like having a Batman holiday. It’s also an official holiday not just in India, but in eleven other countries. Let’s face it, if you’re not down with Diwali then you ain’t jolly. Feel free to quote me. I’m pretty sure that’s going to be a big saying in India.
Why would you need “eye health safety tips for Diwali”? Because it’s like our Fourth of July/Independence Day in the States. On Diwali, all the Hindus get lit! They don’t get lit in the sense of drinking a lot, or do they? I imagine that the Feni will be flowing freely in Mumbai tomorrow as they celebrate the Festival of Lights by lighting candles and fireworks until the wee hours of the morning.
Something like one tenth of the Earth’s population is in India. Nobody has more than 6 inches of personal space, and on one day each year they all start fires. I don’t see how that could possibly go wrong! The fire departments in India earn their keep on Diwali. There are literally tons of fire accidents on Diwali, so read this article to help you stay safe and alive during Diwali. No one wants to leave Diwali in a funeral trolley. That’s not a saying in India yet, but mark my Hindi words, this time next year some marketing dude in India is going to make this the tag line for a public service announcement. Here it is in Hindi: कोई भी एक अंतिम संस्कार ट्राली में दीवाली छोड़ना चाहता है. And tomorrow, someone in India who reads this will say it to their friends moments before one of them blows off a finger or two with firecrackers.
I love the angry baby memes. I wonder if one day in 20 years we’ll see a picture of the angry baby then and now. Anyway, for those of you who are not Hindu, I hope you learned a little more about another culture today and for all my Hindi speaking readers, if you drink too much don’t get into a brawly on Diwali. Yeah, I could do this all day. दीपावली की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं ! <–That may or may not be me and my Hindi readers making fun of the rest of you. For all you Netflix watchers, go look up The Office episode about Diwali. Very funny. Have a great weekend! ~Phil
Yes, it’s that time of year! Put away all those Halloween decorations, grab a cup of hot cocoa and settle in for the two best holiday traditions; Hallmark movies and my annual blog making fun of them.
Christmas, you say? No, Christmas is just a secondary annoyance. To all the people born with at least one romantic bone in their body and a high tolerance for mediocre acting, November is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s Hallmark Christmas movie time! Or as Lacey Chabert, Dean Cain and Candace Cameron Bure call it, “The only time we make any money.”
Being married to one of these Hallmark movie loving people, I inadvertently see several Hallmark Christmas movies every year. I couldn’t help but notice that each unique Hallmark Christmas movie has the exact same plot as every other Hallmark movie. To save you from having to watch the actual movies, here’s how it goes:
Guy or gal who left home several years ago is very successful at some high falutin’ job in a big city somewhere, then they come back to their Smalltown, USA hometown for Thanksgiving or a funeral. Oh no! Their family’s business is failing! Or maybe beloved Uncle Walt passed away and they’re going to lose the farm! What? The only way they can save the farm, family business or special hometown festival is if the impossibly attractive person stays longer than they planned. Maybe until Christmas! I can’t believe it. What are the chances of that?!!?
Successful and attractive returning guy or gal runs into the sister or brother of a friend they knew in high school. He or she “was just a kid back then” but now they’re “all grown up” and they’ve really blossomed into a hunk or a hottie. At first they may not like each other but everyone else can see the obvious chemistry. Despite the fact that they annoy each other, they have to work together to save the business, ranch, town or whatever. There’s always something that needs saving.
Of course it will all inevitably lead to a playful snowball fight between the two in the town square where they will tumble into a pile of egregiously fake snow and look longingly into each others eyes.
Guess what everyone, that’s the plot of every episode of The Gilmore Girls too. You’re welcome. I’ve just saved you the trouble of watching every single Hallmark movie this year. But you know what? I know you’re going to watch them. It’s as inevitable as that moment when the returning hometown hero says “this is where I’ve wanted to be all along” as they finally kiss their new love and gaze at the Christmas tree. Cue Christmas music and fade out to credits.
A funny thing happened this year when I sat down to update this blog. I kind of turned into a Hallmark fan and here’s why: I went to Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas page and amongst the pictures of smiling, impossibly perfect people there was a “A Very Merry Give-away” where you and I have a chance to win a trip to London and Paris. I am all about that! I will even watch every single Hallmark movie if it gives me a chance to win that trip. Who’s with me on that? I’ve already entered and I think you should too! Don’t you want to travel across “the pond” with me?
Ugh. Those movies are so fake sugary, saccharin sweet that they should have a disclaimer warning diabetics not to watch them. Really, I’m not a Grinch. I love the holidays and I mock them because I love them. Just like you. Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil
P.S. Dear Hallmark, I’ll let you sponsor this Phil Factor blog for the right price!
David Coleman is The Dating Doctor. Is he a doctor who is dating? Is he dating a doctor? I don’t know and it’s none of our business. What I do know is that David has spoken on relationships and leadership to audiences all over the world. Don’t worry my literary friends; David’s expertise won’t be limited to just the questions I ask here. He’s got books. Books you need to read before you do further damage to your love life. (This is a classic 2015 post)
news.uwlax.edu
TPF: David, thank you for taking the time to visit The Phil Factor. As you may have suspected, people read my blog. Often they’re people who spend more time relating to others online than in person. What advice about relationships do you have for people in our increasingly social media focused world?
David: To “hover” a few seconds before you hit the send button on a text, post, tweet or mail message. Once you hit send, you have put your words, video or pictures in motion and that action cannot be reversed, and never erased, so you need to be comfortable with all the possible ramifications of the way your words or pictures are received. Also remember, if you publicly play out your relationship on line, every day, its success or failure will be just as public as well.
TPF: What is the biggest mistake people make early in a relationship that could doom their chances for success?
David: They mistake infatuation for love and fall far too fast, far too soon. Infatuation is INTENSE. It is short-lived, demanding and can turn normally rational people into “life is too short…let’s do it” optimists. They say and do things normally reserved for couples who are a bit farther down the line in a relationship and then wonder why they, nor their partner can keep up the level of intensity they felt when they first met.
There are three primary types of loves people experience: Eros (Physical), Agape (Heartfelt) and Philia (Friendship). When a couple allows infatuation to rule their actions, they often skip the development of these stages and then get very disappointed in the end when things “just didn’t work out.”
TPF: What’s the most impactful way someone can grab the attention of someone they are interested in but don’t know in a crowded/busy social setting?
David: Eye contact…smile…say hello. The look you share, the words you use, the way you express yourself and the interest you show will separate you from those who didn’t have the guts to at least say hello. Holding a gaze just for one extra moment and accompanying it with a coy smile lets that person know that among people in a crowded setting, you noticed THEM. Then, before leaving, you need to walk up to them and say, “I just wanted you to know that I noticed you. This is my card (or my name or my email address or my number…). If you ever want to even have coffee, it would be my honor.” Then graciously walk away. Take the high road. The view is always better from there!
TPF: Craziest question you’ve ever been asked? And what was your answer?
David: A woman came up to me after a show and said, “I’ll bet you have never heard this one…My husband is having an affair…with my mother!” This lady and her husband had a weekly sporting event they took part in, but they were on different teams. She found out that he would skip his games and return home to be with her mother who was supposedly watching their children while they were out competing. My advice to her was, to return home early from her game the following week and walk back into the house with several close friends as witnesses along with her so that it would not be her word against theirs and so that they would be caught red-handed in the act. I also suggested that she get a top-notch therapist and good legal advice if she indeed intended to head in the direction of ending her marriage. I heard from her a year later. She was doing well, had met someone new and felt as if she was at a healthy point in her life. Her husband had been distant and abusive for years so this unfortunate situation gave her the courage and strength to move on. Her and her mother, “we’re still working things out.”
TPF: Your traditional education, Bachelor’s and Master’s aren’t in Psychology or counseling. How did you come to a career in writing books and speaking on dating and relationships?
David: As an undergraduate and graduate student both of my degrees had a high degree of social work, psychology and communications in their curriculum so I received a heavy dose of human nature and communication training. From a young age, I had the innate ability to read people, know where they were in their life and give them the advice that the needed to hear, not necessarily what they wanted to hear. I didn’t care if people liked me, only if they learned from me and my service or advice exceeded their needs and expectations. I also seemed to have the ability to introduce people to each other whom I felt “might hit it off.” My outgoing personality served as a bit of an ice-breaker and allowed others to meet with me as a conduit. Then, they could return and ask me questions and my advice seemed to really help them. Thus, a career was born.
TPF: Our mutual friend, magician James David, referred to you as “A real life Dating Doctor like Will Smith played in the movie, “HITCH!”” Would you say that’s accurate?
David: First, James is an amazing talent and magician. I am proud to call him my friend and yes, he is accurate. What Will Smith’s character portrayed in the 2005 movie Hitch is what I do every single day professionally. Like he helped Kevin James’s character connect to the love of his life, I help 10 or more just like him in real life on a weekly basis. I try to help people get out of their way instead of self-sabotaging their chances of meeting someone with whom they would be compatible. I have dozens of success stories under my belt over the past 20 years and enjoy working with people who are seeking healthy relationships and unbridled happiness. Talk is cheap. I am not. I have found that people who pay a price work twice as hard as those who “want something for free.”
TPF: In your experience, are men more clueless about what women want in a relationship, or is it the other way around?
David: They are both mystified at times because the game keeps changing. The speed of the internet and social media, the explosion of dating apps on our smart phones, the increase in the number of people using dating sites and the lack of real human interaction due to texting and tweeting, etc. has made both sexes wonder just how dialed in they are to the opposite sex. You also have an increase in the number of people identifying themselves as bi-sexual, a-sexual, pansexual, transgender…and this keeps both men and women wondering, learning, experimenting and searching for people like me to help them navigate the often treacherous waters of dating, relationships, romance, sex, marriage, divorce and dating after divorce.
As always, if you want to share the love you get from #ThePhilFactor please hit the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Is there any better gift for your Valentine than The Phil Factor? Umm…nevermind. Don’t answer that.
I’d like to wish a sincere Happy Holi to my Hindu friends and Hindi speaking friends out there! Thank you for all your views of my blog over the past several years! For the rest of you, in India Holi is a holiday celebrated much like our St. Patrick’s Day. Different meanings, but similar celebrations.
Today the Hindu holiday of Holi began. It is the annual Spring festival of colors. So, why am I wishing a Happy Holi or होली होली to readers of my blog? Because I have many Hindi speaking readers. Just to be clear though, not all Hindi speaking people are Hindu and not all Hindus speak Hindi, but the majority of each is also the other, got it? Hindi is a language and Hindu is a religion.
So what exactly is Holi? It’s a Hindu Spring festival that celebrates the victory of good over evil and light over the darkness. It is a time of forgiveness and repairing relationships. Holi is not only a celebration of Spring, it is also a known as The Festival of Love, celebrating the eternal love of Radha-Krishna, the masculine and feminine realities of God. And it involves drinking a lot of Feni, a lot of fireworks, and everyone getting covered in colorful powder. (If you click the THIS LINK you can watch a popular Indian TV series about the mythological story on Disney+)
So why do so many Hindi speaking people read my blog? Because of two posts about हिंदी सेक्स. Over the last several years my blog has become a hotspot for the Hindi speaking crowd. I imagine that in India there are entire internet message boards dedicated to discussing फिल फैक्टर (Phil Factor). What posts are those? I’m glad you asked:
The rest of this post will be in Hindi in deference to my many Hindi speaking readers and friends. होली मुबारक! फिल फैक्टर दुनिया का सबसे अच्छा ब्लॉग है! मेरी किताबें खरीदें और आप अपने सपनों के साथ मिलेंगे!
In case you didn’t know, it’s Groundhog Day! Then again it’s felt like Groundhog Day for the last two years, hasn’t it?
Who doesn’t love this old movie? Especially since Bill Murray’s character was named Phil. And, the groundhog is also named Phil. Coincidence? I think not. This post was originally written for #ThePhilFactor on Feb. 2, 2006 and I now post it every year, over and over, just like Phil’s Groundhog Day in the movie.
The dimwitted people of Punxsatawney, Pennsylvannia have been shoving a rodent through a hole in a tree stump for almost 200 hundred years to find out if there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Hey morons, you live in the Northeast! There’s always 6 more weeks of winter! Check the calendar! It says that Spring starts on March 21st. That’s 7 weeks from now. You don’t need a rat being spooked by his shadow to figure this one out.
At this point I’m getting tired of all these wanna-be Phil’s trying to horn in on my fame. If, coincidentally, a shot were to ring out in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today and a certain rodent were to explode in a puff of fur, I was kidding when I wrote this. No harm meant, just a joke. You’ll all be my alibi right?
I’m curious, for those of you from other countries, do you have a Groundhog Day? As always, if you enjoyed this vintage Phil Factor feel free to share it via the social media buttons below. Come back Saturday for a brand new Phil Factor. Have a great Friday! ~Phil
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure, parapsychologist, author of several humorous suspense novels and one of the longest running blogs in the world, The Phil Factor.
thephilfactor.com
