Category Archives: Uncategorized

Why Does The Slab City Tree of Souls Continue To Haunt Me?

Back in 2013 when I was promoting my next novel, The Sneaker Tree, I’d post a picture of one of these “Sneaker Trees” that occur all over the world. Once within minutes of one of those posts @pkninjaz, Jazmin, a complete stranger from the other side of the country sent me the picture above. It is a picture of the Slab City, California shoe tree known as the Tree of Souls.

Ever since that blog post in 2013, I’ve gotten a steady stream of views of my post. It’s not the most popular thing I’ve ever written, but for some reason it never goes more than a day or two without a few reads. So I’m finally curious enough to want to figure out why.

That picture above is from Slab City, California. Slab City, nicknamed The Last Free Place in America is an unincorporated , off the grid area in the Sonoran Desert that is home to artists, bohemians and people seeking an alternative lifestyle.

That all sounds pretty cool, right?  According to website LiveThatAdventure.com  Slab City “is a crazy mixture of Mad Max, a post apocalyptic town, and an art museum.” 

As I said earlier, I could probably live there. I like artsy people and stuff. Reportedly, there are about 150 year round residents and about another 150 or so snowbirds that show up in the winter months.  The only thing keeping me from moving there is the “waste” situation. Slab City has a sewage system but no one knows where it goes. Some residents just have their own outhouses. Some have RV’s and they just drive to wherever to empty their tanks.

In the middle of the territory is a hill called East Jesus that one man turned into a place of worship.

East Jesus

Slab City seems like somewhere for me to visit and feature on my travel blog. Who wants to come with me?

Anyway, like I said, for some reason a lot of people want to know about that place regularly. Also, my book The Sneaker Tree is still for sale on Amazon and it’s literally Stranger Things but I wrote it long before someone made it into a Netflix series. I didn’t realize that until a book promoter hit me up and made the comparison.  Btw, Stranger Things is coming back Nov. 26, but who wants to watch it now. Too long of a break, we’ve lost interest. Also the kids are all about 40 years old and have kids of their own. Netflix, you’ve jumped the shark on this one. Yeah, that’s right, I’m bringing back “jumped the shark.”

Thank’s for reading. Have a great week! ~Phil

There Are No Bad Actors

Pic courtesy of CareersInFilm.com

That’s right, I said it. There are no bad actors. There may be some spectacularly talented actors and actresses, but anyone you see on TV, in movies or on stage is far more talented than you and I.

I don’t care if it’s at your local playhouse in the middle of some podunk town, those actresses and actors are better than us at what they do. That dorky guy that plays the pharmacist in the commercial is better than you and me.

I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m so suddenly advocating for a little love for the bit actors and actresses that played the waiter in the restaurant in that movie.

The reason I’m on this little rant is because over the past week and a half I spent time in Hollywood. Well, not really in Hollywood, although I was close enough that I could have hung around Hollywood. I’ve been there, done that. When I was Hollywood adjacent, I spent a lot of time with actors, actresses, and a movie crew, which included my son.

Pic from Collider.com

While I was there, my son, who used to say “C’s get degrees” is currently the writer and boss man director of a 12 ring circus that changes on a dime almost constantly. In two minutes he can completely turn a scene around if he or someone else has an idea, and all these people follow his lead.

A key part of that circus is the actors and actresses. I know that both you and I have at some point said something like “He’s a terrible actor. I could do that! ” I used to be that way. But now that I see how the gravy is made, I have a ton of respect for actors and actresses, and anyone who works on a movie.

My son invited me to visit him in California just so he could put me in a scene in his latest project. Years ago, I initially went to college for broadcasting. Before I changed majors I had classes where we had a full newsroom set up and once I had to read and say the name of golfer Mark Calcavecchia off the teleprompter without warning and I nailed it.

In the 1990’s I did stand-up comedy at regional bars and was pretty decent. So, with plenty of experience on stage talking in front of people, I figured that saying two lines in about 20 seconds would be a piece of cake.

A week before I came out to Cali, (That’s what me and the natives call it) my son gave me the scene and the kind of lines he wanted me to improv. I practiced them at home for days before I flew out to start my new Hollywood career. Then, one actor couldn’t make the filming day, so on a dime my son created a different scene and put me in it. I only had two lines and instructions regarding my demeanor. Two lines and 20 seconds took at least 5 minutes filming and three takes for me to get those 20 seconds to be even be passable.

My scene was filmed first thing in the morning and throughout the day I spent time with the the actors and actresses just to stay out of the way of the filming crew. It was a thoroughly enjoyable several hours.

We all occupied a room and every so often someone from the crew would open the door and say “Hey, we need Sophia and Javier” or whoever’s turn it was to have their scene filmed.

They’d leave and the rest of us just talked and joked around all day. A lot of the other actors have been in things you’ve seen, whether it was a commercial or a background person, in movies or shows. Each and every one of them had regular jobs and were working their butts off at those and at being in small movies like this one. We had smart, funny and interesting conversation all day.

That’s why I think we should all be a little less judgy about actors and actresses. The people are not their characters. I appreciate so much more how difficult what they do is. It’s a marathon. You don’t know until you walk in someone else’s shoes, and I’m certain that at least a few of the young actors I met will be big stars one day. And I’ll say I knew them when…

Oh, and part of my Hollywood trip was getting a hug from a guy who won an Emmy Award for engineering the sound for a show. Thanks Conor, those gadgets you made completely changed the way this movie was filmed. You rock!

Have a great day, and thanks for reading! ~Phil.  (If you’re interested in my touristy review of Santa Monica, you can read it HERE

Sui-AI-cide

(Before you read this, I want you to know that this may have some very disturbing content. If you are easily triggered or sensitive to serious topics, do not read.)

Now I’m pissed, and not pissed like the Brits say they are when they’ve drunk too much. In my 2024 psychic predictions I said, “The fear that artificial intelligence will do something dangerous will come true. A.I. will develop it’s own newer, more independent  A.I. programs that could become a threat to humanity.” That prediction has now become real, but not in the way that you’re thinking. In May in that Scientific American article the author said exactly what I did in 2024 about AI getting smart enough to create it’s own, smarter A.I. Yes, you know that I love to say “I told you so.” In this instance, I’m not thrilled to be right.

Why am I not thrilled about AI getting smarter and smarter? It’s because it is helping people kill themselves and others. There have been several murders and suicides that are attributed to conversations people have had with online A.I. chatbots. Granted, some of those people had mental health issues, but should they be able to use a sentient online chat machine to befriend them and help them to plan their own death or those of others?

This was a predictable tragedy. The last five years with AI marks a turning point in the evolution of our societies. The leaders of each and every nation are responsible for the development of AI and they have failed us. Most of you won’t get as riled up as I’m feeling, but what if one of your family members killed someone or themselves based on a conversation they had with a chat bot?

If I’ve egregiously wronged someone and they want to kill me, I can understand that. If someone kills me because a human created chat bot told them to, I’m going to be really pissed, and not in the British way.

If you think the gun crisis in the United States is out of control, imagine what Earth’s 8.2 billion people will do with the internet in their hands. I believe this subject should be discussed at the highest levels of politics at the United Nations. It’s not just a United States problem.

I know I usually go for laughs and stroking my ego here, but I’m completely serious. Thanks for reading and if you agree, please share this on the internet far and wide.

Don’t worry, I’ll get back to my cotton-headed ninny-muggins ways soon. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

It’s Pumpkin Spice SZN!

Pic courtesy of Starbucks. I’m trying to get a Starbucks blog sponsorship. 

I was also going to name this “A Pumpkin Flavored Phil Factor”. It’s that time of year, again. Sigh.  It has begun. Pumpkin flavored everything is back in stores and everything else.  WTH? Seriously, are pumpkins such a wonderful delicacy that we have to flavor EVERYTHING with them? Why pumpkin? Is there any other time of year where a flavor takes over the country for a couple months? Around the winter holidays why isn’t there nog flavored everything? Around St. Patrick’s Day we’ve got our Shamrock Shakes, but that’s about it. How about this? I’m going to give you a list of ten pumpkin flavored items below and you try to guess which one isn’t real.

1. SPAM

2. Twinkies

3. Donuts

 

4. Condoms

 

5. Soda pop

6. Potato chips

7. Pasta

8. Cookies

9. Vodka

10. Hamburgers

If you guessed the pumpkin flavored condom was fake, you are right! The other nine items all exist out there in this pumpkin flavored world. That’s too much pumpkin flavored stuff. What’s next, pumpkin-flavored fish sandwiches at McDonald’s? This time of year it’s actually an effort not to accidentally eat something pumpkin flavored. This madness must end!

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law stating that any company that produces a pumpkin flavored food item has to have it approved through a special sub-committee and if it is just too stupid of an idea they will not be allowed to sell it. If you know of any other odd pumpkin flavored foods or drinks please share them in the comments.

As always, if you enjoy what you read at #ThePhilFactor and want to support my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook share button.

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

I Was All In On Greenland Long Before Trump

In 2015 I published this ground breaking interview with Greenland expert Sarah Woodall. I think after Trump read my interview, he decided then and there that he wanted Greenland. Unknowingly I may have changed the history of two countries again.

TPF:  Tell us a little about how you came to work in Greenland and how much time do you spend there?

Sarah: The cut-to-the-chase answer is that I was in graduate school getting a Master of Tourism Administration and in November 2011 a representative from Visit Greenland, the national tourist board, came to my school to give a recruitment presentation about summer internships. The pitch was to travel to Nuuk, Greenland for a four-month internship in summer 2012, work at the national tourist board, and live with a local family to get a close experience with the typical Greenlandic lifestyle. As exciting an offer as this sounded on paper, it was actually a beautiful video showing Greenland’s nature, smiling people, whales, and incredible ice, that hooked me with goosebumps and all. Watch the exact video here!

After the internship period, Visit Greenland proposed to hire me, which I most happily accepted. I just recently celebrated the three year anniversary of my first day in Greenland, at which point I marveled over the fact that between work and holiday both, I have spent a total of 16 months in Greenland – not only in the capital but also in many other towns around the coast. It’s the most amazing life I could imagine.

thefourthcontinent.com

TPF: What surprised you the most when you first arrived in Greenland?

The first place I ever experienced in Greenland was Nuuk, the capital city. What surprised me was how incredibly cosmopolitan it was! Even though I knew the population of Nuuk, I guess I expected a place more along the lines of what small towns look like in Greenland. There’s so much infrastructure, fashionable clothing, beautiful homes with even nicer furnishings than my own home in Washington, D.C., and everyone had the full line of Apple products. I remembered thinking, ‘In terms of material life, there’s nothing to ‘adjust to’ in Greenland!”

Now that I’ve traveled to 19 towns and settlements in Greenland, I know that all of Greenland cannot be generalized by the Nuuk ruler. I suggest to anyone traveling to Greenland that they experience multiple places in Greenland to be able to understand the great lifestyle spectrum that Greenland has.

Photo credit Sarah Goodall

TPF: Have you had any funny cultural misunderstandings?

Sarah: Yes! I was attending a colleague’s kaffemik, a social gathering to celebrate everything from birthdays to weddings to first days of school. When I got to the door and started removing my shoes – because Greenlanders never wear outdoor shoes inside the house – I suddenly realized I wasn’t wearing socks. My colleague said I should just wear my shoes inside, no problem, but I wasn’t going to do that, and I definitely wasn’t going to walk around barefoot. So I ran home to get a pair of socks! Fortunately I lived just down the street.

There’s also definitely a noticeable cultural difference in how shy Greenlanders can be, especially at first meetings. While in other cultures one might start with a firm handshake, a big smile, and jump right into a firing squad of questions, in Greenland this would almost be an over-the-top infringement on personal space. It takes time to get to such an open level with Greenlanders, so even at a celebratory kaffemik, it is not uncommon to sit in shared silence around the table.

TPF:  Do you speak any Danish?

Sarah: Danish is the colonial language of Greenland, one of two official languages. I do read, write, and speak quite a bit of Danish, though I would not consider myself fluent. I learned it more or less by osmosis. Danish is the more common working language around the office, not to mention when I am in Nuuk, I’m living in a home where Danish is the first language.

However, what is more exciting for me is that I am also reading, writing, and speaking some Greenlandic, though also not fluently by any means. Greenlandic is the mother tongue of Greenland and looks like nothing you have probably ever seen before as it is a polysynthetic language that adds multiple suffices to a root to create full sentences in what looks like a single word. Therefore, I’m pretty proud to be learning it! Want to see what it looks like? Check out the website for Sermitsiaq.AG, one of the newspapers.

Taken at 11:50 pm in June 2013

Taken at 11:50 pm in June 2013 by Sarah Woodall

Since I am not fluent in either of the official languages in Greenland, my daily interactions are some combination of English, Greenlandic, and Danish. By the way, in autumn this year (2015), there will be a book out called ‘Inussuk’ about internationals’ experiences living in Greenland, and I have made a written contribution to the chapter about language. (The book has already been published in Danish, and now this is the English version on the way.)

TPF: Wow, that’s exciting! Here’s some questions from other Phil Factor readers

From Done Dreaming : Coincidently I’m reading Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig and have just got to the part where he says if you live in Greenland you are 27 times more likely to kill yourself than if you live in Greece.

Sarah: While this is certainly the darker side of life, I feel that since the topic has been proposed I should address it the best I can citing findings from a report from the Greenlandic government. Danish title: “Selvmord, Selvmordsforsøg, og Selvmordstanker i Grønland”. Translated English title: “Suicide, Suicide Attempts, and Suicidal Thoughts in Greenland”.

Suicide has increased over time in Greenland.
-Male Greenlanders commit suicide much more than females.
-Suicide is more common in towns than in settlements.
-Younger Greenlanders commit suicide much more than older generations.

Many outside of Greenland will hypothesize that it must be the dark, cold winters that drive Greenlanders to suicide, but this is just so superficial and, no offense, so ignorant of an assumption. Aside from the fact that mental disease can affect any population in the world, there are far more complex Greenland-specific factors at play than latitude.

For example, the political climate of the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s was full of turmoil and still has implications today. At the time, Denmark was a firm colonial power and, for example, forced Greenlanders to move from small settlements – where life was close to nature, self-subsistent, and full of space and physical activity – to larger towns – where life was farther from nature and totally lacking of space and privacy. If you can get your hands on them, I HIGHLY recommend two films that explain this period in Greenlandic history extremely well. They have English subtitles. Sume is a feature-length film that uses music as the storytelling method, and Qaannat Alannguanni / I Skyggen af Kayakkerne / In the Shadow of the Kayaks is a more academic 5-part narrated series.

Thank you again Sarah Goodall for making us smarter about your beautiful country.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend! ~Phil

Chit Chat and Ghosts

Pic from Istock photos

Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been quiet the last couple months. My wife, who over the last twenty-five years has had cancer for more years than not, passed away this past weekend. I’m not here to moan and mope. But I am here to have someone to talk to. That’s one of the things that surprised me. Suddenly there was a hole in my life in a way I hadn’t anticipated. And you’re going to fill that hole for me occasionally.

I now live alone in my house. I’m not completely alone though. I do have my cat, Rory, but he’s not much of a conversationalist. He’s a great cat, but he doesn’t seem interested in my random chit-chat. So, occasionally, I’ll talk to you, telling you those little things that seem meaningless, like that I had dinner with Liam and Sophia last night and they seem to have a little mouse problem in their house.

Was that a poltergeist, or just really kick-ass hi-def tv?

Also, I think I may be haunted by my recently deceased wife. To me, personality-wise, she seems like she’d be a haunter. Also, a couple months ago I told her that when she passes away she better haunt me. Today, I think she started.

My wife was a Nurse Practitioner, and she would have loved to wear this shirt at Halloween.

Why do I think that she started haunting me today? I was sitting in my home office and I went looking in the closet for something, in the back I found my backpack that had my ghost hunting tools in it. I pulled one out to see if it still had battery power, which it did. It didn’t detect anything, so I tossed it back in the backpack and sat down at my desk.

I sat down reached into my pocket for my phone and when I pulled it out, it was open to Instagram and a paranormal investigator was in the middle of broadcasting live in Stories. I listened for a bit and then as soon as I closed it, all the lights in the room blinked. That shouldn’t happen. Last fall I had a whole, new electric panel put in my house. I could run all the electricity in New York State off of my house. But there it was; an electric blink that shouldn’t have been there just a moment after I was thinking of my wife and the paranormal.

Following my uber successful lifetime philosophy of  “I don’t see how anything could possibly go wrong!”, all alone, I’m going to do a full paranormal investigation of my house tonight. I’m pulling out the dowsing rods, my EMF meter, Spirit Box (that’s the static thing they always listen to), tarot cards, and my laser array. If I can’t catch her haunting me with all that, then she isn’t here. Who thinks that I should also film it and put it on YouTube? This sounds like the beginning of a paranormal movie that ends badly, doesn’t it. Hey, but what if we do the pottery thing from Ghost ?

Stay tuned! Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this ~Phil

The Other Phil Factor?

That picture is not me. Hard to believe I know. Going back to the early days of Google search it always bugged me when I’d Google my own blog and the first name on the list was ThePhilFactorMagic.com. It wasn’t every time. Sometimes I was at the top of the Google list and other times it was him. For a while I was irked, but I got over it and decided to bring our impressive forces together to break the internet. I emailed the other Phil Factor and asked him to be a guest on my blog for it’s 20th anniversary.

Me: You are a professional magician with decades of experience and success. How did you first develop an interest in magic as a career?

The Magical Phil Factor: As most Magicians it started when I was young. My Grandfather showed me a classic trick called “nickels to dimes”.  He gave me the trick and a magic book for my birthday.  Needless to say my Mother suffered through my attempts at performing magic tricks for her.  Some good and some terribly bad.  After seeing my first ever live performance by a magician in my early twenties I got seriously hooked.  At that point I dove into learning and performing as much as I could.  After months of non-stop practice, I ventured out and began busking for my own experience and growth as a performer.  Here I am 27 years later still doing what I love.

Me: Did you consider or work in other jobs before “Magician” became your full-time title?

The Magical Phil Factor: Yes, I served a four year tour of duty in the United States Air Force from 1989-1993 during Desert Storm and Desert Shield campaigns. When I got out of the military, I worked for Coca Cola my entire career while maintaining a side hustle performing magic at corporate, private and public events. Last year I finally decided to leave my job with Coca Cola and pursue Magic full time as my only income.

Me: First off, thank you for your years of military service. Secondly, you worked at Coca-Cola? Lol, I worked for Pepsi for four years in college. That’s an interesting synchronicity. Apparently all Phil Factors like carbonated beverages. So, tell me, what makes your magic show different?

The Magical Phil Factor: I believe what makes my magic different is my 50/50 approach.  I try to be entertaining and funny just as much as presenting mind blowing sleight of hand magic. People seem to respond well and really enjoy it as entertainment.  Rather than feeling tricked or fooled they can laugh and also be amazed.  I want them to walk away saying “That was a fantastic and entertaining show!”  Not, “How did he do that trick?”  I would much rather give people a lifelong,  joyful memory of that time they experienced The Phil Factor!

Me: That’s exactly how I approached dating in my 20’s!

Me: So what’s your best trick?

The Magical Phil Factor: I don’t know if it is my “best” trick. That’s subjective to each audience that bears witness, but it is one of my favorites that I am proud of and perform often. I call it “Dixie Chick”.  I created this routine with heavy inspiration from one of my good friends and fellow magician Doug Brewer.  Any magic performances that are my own creations are my favorite and suit my personality best.  It feels more authentic and translates to an audience in a genuine way.

Me: Who is your favorite magician?

The Magical Phil Factor: Without question, my favorite magician is David Williamson!  He is a comedic genius who performs diabolical magic.  Combining his chaotic, insane comedy antics with incredible magic leaves people breathless.  He was my introduction to learning magic from a professional magician and heavily influenced my choice of material and how I perform it.  He truly is one of a kind and the reason I fell in love with magic. He’s an incredible gift to the world of magic.

Me: Thanks Phil, I really appreciate you sharing your magic with my readers. I occasionally get to So-Cal, so the next time I go, I’ll look you up and see your show. Feel free to pull me into one of your tricks!

Thanks  for reading! Have a magical day! ~ Phil

What’s Your Secret Mundane Superpower?

We all have that one ordinary thing we do that everyone else also does, but we’ve mastered it better than anyone else in all of humanity. That is your Secret Mundane Superpower. You may even have multiple super powers. And I want to hear about them. I want to hear you revel in your greatness!

I will tell you about my Secret Mundane Superpowers, only on the condition that you respond with yours in either your own blog post about it, or in the comments below. If you read past this paragraph, you have engaged in a legally binding contract to reveal your mundane superhero identity. Although it may seem like writing silly bullshit is one of my Secret Mundane Superpowers, it is not.

I’ve been blessed with three Secret Mundane Superpowers. The first is my mastery of the microwave oven. If you hand me a plate of any size with any amount of any food, I can immediately choose the exact amount of time that it needs to be cooked to come out at the perfect eating temp. It’s not like I just shout out “5 minutes” or any other even number. The numbers just pop into my head; sometimes it’s 1:47 and other times it’s 18:23.

My second mundane super power is cartwheels. I don’t know why, but at some point in my life I decided that I would continue to do cartwheels long past the age when the rest of humanity gives up that childish foible. Now that I’m way on the wrong side of 50, I’ll occasionally do a cartwheel to say “F you universe, you can’t stop me.” In fact, you can see many of those cartwheels in random places on my TikTok. And by the way Simone Biles, I don’t care how many medals you have, I will challenge you to a cartwheel contest any day. Hit me up. You know where to find me.

My third Secret Mundane Superpower is telling time. Not looking at a watch telling time, but telling time in the times and places when you lose time. If we’re on vacation sitting on a beach drinking margaritas all day and  neither of us has a watch or our phones. At any random moment if you shout out “Phil, what time is it?” I will respond with the time within four minutes of accuracy. I will also tell you to stop shouting. I’m sitting right next to you.

I believe that all of us do have wings, albeit mundane ones sometime, but you are not just ordinary. What you consider a mundane talent might be a herculean feat for someone else. We are all capable of greatness in ways large and small. You too are a superhero.

OK, you’re up. In the comments below or on your own blog tell us about your Secret Mundane Superpower.

~Thanks for reading, Phil

Scientists Making The World Worse, or Just Dumber?

Pic courtesy of the BBC and Colossal Biosciences.

Some of you may remember my blog post thirteen months ago titled Scientists Making The World Worse, Again… . Last year I told you about the ridiculous quest of a commercial genetics company trying to bring mastodons back to life in our world. Apparently we won’t need to worry about mastodons leaving poops the size of an 8 year old in our yard anytime soon.

Yup, that picture above is what a bunch of scientists did with 13 months and a few billion dollars. They made a hairy mouse. If I’m not mistaken, I believe those already existed and they’re called guinea pigs. Although, if you’re a guy who’s balding, the hair growth these scientists created might be worth getting a patent.

So, this past year they created a hairy mouse. That’s hardly a mastodon. If they are able to clone something hairier and larger once a year, what will those scientific leaps and bounds look like? This year, a hairy mouse, then next year a slight more muscular pigeon, followed by a Chihuahua that might nip you right in the knees instead of ankles, and after that maybe a a real Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

So, the billionaire investors in Colossal BioSciences must be pretty excited about how their money is being spent. I wonder what Colossal Bioscience’s motto is; Just wait, we’ll get there eventually!

I hope you’re having a great weekend, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

Throwback Thursday: There’s a New Pope

Proving that #ThePhilFactor is one of the oldest continuous running blogs on the interwebs, today’s Throwback Thursday post goes back to not the most recent Pope election, but the one in 2005. That’s right, The Phil Factor has now spanned two Popes and four Presidents.

In fact it was almost three Popes. Pope John Paul II died the day before The Phil Factor was born. Or did he die <em>so that</em> The Phil Factor could be born?  Hey, it’s the circle of life. I don’t make the rules. What I think I’m trying to say here is that God wants you to read The Phil Factor. It’s his favorite blog. In the picture below Pope Benedict is saying “All hail The Phil Factor!” He was speaking in Latin, but I’m pretty sure that’s what he said.

<img class=”size-full wp-image-17739″ src=”https://thephilfactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/20221231T0445-OBIT-BENEDICT-1753610-scaled-1-e1741528479565.jpg&#8221; alt=”” width=”1200″ height=”967″ />

(4/19/2005) There’s a new Pope and it’s not me. <em>Again</em>. The whole process just pisses me off. It’s all political. It’s who you know. It’s who you kissed up to. Just because I’m not a glad handing Cardinal in the Catholic church I don’t even get a whiff of consideration for the job.

I didn’t even get a single write in vote. That is totally not fair. If I am ever elected Pope the first thing I’m going to do is revise that hat. It’s got to be a total pain in the ass to get through doorways wearing a 3 foot hat. I think a nice papal baseball cap worn backwards would be cool. It could have a big “V” on the front for Vatican. If I was Pope I’d also have one of those big foam No. 1 fingers for waving from the balcony to the millions of people who wait outside all the time. You know there is no way that the guy standing 800 rows back from the Vatican can see that little Miss America wave the Pope does. I’ve got a goatee. If I were Pope I’d keep that. A Pope with a goatee would be cool. Especially if it was me.

<img class=”size-full wp-image-17737″ src=”https://thephilfactor.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/download-11-e1741528338873.jpg&#8221; alt=”” width=”1000″ height=”563″ /> Pope Benedict taking his first ever cell phone call from me.

To be honest, I added the two pictures to the post about ten years ago. In 2005, when I wrote this, I had no idea how to add pictures to my posts, and I’m not even certain that <a href=”http://Wordpress.com”>Wordpress</a&gt; offered that as an option.

As always, if you enjoy The Phil Factor please leave a comment, (like what you would do if you we’re Pope), and/or hit the Facebook share button below. Have a great Thursday and thanks for reading! ~<em>Phil</em>