This is my new quarterly feature, Fun with Search Terms! You know how when you put in a search term you get pages of related websites? Some are close to what you wanted to find and others not so much. Have you ever worded your search term poorly and gotten some results that made you click your browser closed in horror and go take a shower? This post is my quarterly reminder to be careful what you put into a search engine because somewhere someone knows what you’re looking for.
WordPress tracks the search terms that bring people to The Phil Factor. Here are some of my favorites from the last 90 days along with my commentary:
If you love Honey Boo Boo you’ll love: The Phil Factor? Yup, apparently Google thought that my whimsical trailer park wisdom would appeal to the Honey Boo Boo crowd. Jeez, what’s next, Duck Dynasty fans? Speaking of that, just to be clear, I am not the Phil that everyone is so riled up about this week. We’ve suspended him from Phil Club until further notice.
Reasons to hate Oprah: I’m only surprised that someone had to do a search to find reasons. I can think of at least ten off the top of my head.
Cub Scout cult: If I was to start a cult it definitely wouldn’t be with Cub Scouts, and especially not with the scout leaders. The khaki shorts and kerchief outfit gives me the creeps.
Dog drool germs: Apparently Google thinks my blog is the place to find dog drool germs. That’s why I keep Purel over in the left sidebar. On a related note, if you just looked at my left sidebar to see if it was there I strongly suspect you may be one of the people whose search terms end up in this list.
Kid stuck to popes leg: I’m not allowed to comment until the Vatican issues a public statement.
Ted Cruz catheter: Apparently after reading several passages from #ThePhilFactor during his infamous filibuster Senator Cruz laughed so hard that he peed himself.
Etiquette for men peeing outside: Proving that I am a resource of useful information, yes, there is etiquette for men peeing outside and I wrote about it here.
Celine Dion satanic: I don’t believe for a minute that Satan would want Celine Dion hanging around with him. Her music isn’t evil, it’s just bad.
Horniestintheland.com : I don’t know if that’s a real website and I’m afraid to look, but someone found The Phil Factor by entering that search term. Is there a Horniest in the Land contest? If I entered and posted the link here would you vote for me?
People Magazines sexiest man alive year after year: At least Google search thinks of me as The Sexiest Man Alive even if People Magazine keeps getting it wrong.
As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your friends by hitting the Facebook share button below. Happy Holidays and have a great weekend!