Tag Archives: Oprah

Throwback Thursday! The United States of Oprah

I hate to be a know it all. OK, no I don’t hate to be a know-it-all, but when you’re psychic, sometimes you know all sorts of things. I know most of you think I’m just kidding about being psychic, but when I keep getting stuff right, it’s hard to deny the truth.

Last Sunday at The Golden Globe Awards, when talk show host Oprah Winfrey accepted the Cecil B. de Mille award (yeah, Oprah Winfrey needs awards like we need more Weight Watcher commercials about fake taco parties at her house) she gave an impassioned speech about women fighting sexual harassment and abuse. Her speech was so impressive that people are talking about her being elected President in 2020. When asked if she’d thought about it, she acknowledged that she’s thinking about running.

This is where I come in, or rather where I came in in October of 2011 when I wrote this post in which I suggested that Oprah could become President of the United States. The following is that post in it’s entirety:

Scary, isn’t it?

(Oct. 11, 2011) Oprah has a new t.v. show starting next week. And it’s on every freaking night. Is it just me, or did everyone else think to themselves, “Oh my God! I thought we just got rid of her. What the hell else can she possibly have to say?”

Oprah Winfrey is arguably the most famous person in America. Oprah Winfrey could probably buy Switzerland and have enough money left over to order a pizza. If George W. Bush likes a book, it’s probably by Dr. Suess. If Oprah Winfrey likes a book it becomes a bestseller. (I sure hope she likes my blog) If you help Oprah lay off the carbs for a few weeks, you can get your own t.v. show and become a pop culture icon.

If Hollywood ever decides to update the ancient fable of King Midas as a movie they could just substitute Oprah’s life story. Why she doesn’t just ride to her public appearances in a Popemobile is beyond me. Was this paragraph redundant? Absolutely. Was it superfluous? I think not.

You get the point. Oprah is big, and not in the way she used to be. Her popularity has reached heights that few celebrities ever have known. Barack Obama can only dream of a public consensus like that. My question is, what’s stopping Oprah from running for the presidency? If the population is, as they say, 52% women, how could she be stopped? Scary thought huh? Then again, I might not be opposed to Oprah as President. Think about it…with her money she could bail out the U.S. economy without batting an eyelash. And can you imagine the State of the Union address when she says, “To help stimulate the economy…(dramatic pause)…everyone in the United States gets a new car! You get a car! You get a car! You get a car!” In fact, I hope Oprah does become President because that would mean we would probably see her on t.v. a lot less. (End of 2011 post)

That’s it. In 2011 I envisioned a world where Oprah becomes President. You can just call me Philstradamus from now on. Practice saying it. Phil-stra-daa-mus.  It will roll off the tongue after a few tries.

Have a great Thursday! I know you will 😉  ~Phil

Thank You To Hot Mess Memoir!

I want to give a big thank you to Angela of Hot Mess Memoir for choosing my very short story as the winner of her What Would You Tell Oprah in 400 Words or Less writing contest. No, I’m not going to post my short story here. You have to go to Angela’s site to read it. Have a great Sunday and go visit Hot Mess Memoir! Thank you Angela!

If You Love Honey Boo Boo, You’ll Love…The Phil Factor?

This is my new quarterly feature, Fun with Search Terms! You know how when you put in a search term you get pages of related websites? Some are close to what you wanted to find and others not so much. Have you ever worded your search term poorly and gotten some results that made you click your browser closed in horror and go take a shower? This post is my quarterly reminder to be careful what you put into a search engine because somewhere someone knows what you’re looking for.

googleninja

WordPress tracks the search terms that bring people to The Phil Factor. Here are some of my favorites from the last 90 days along with my commentary:

If you love Honey Boo Boo you’ll love: The Phil Factor? Yup, apparently Google thought that my whimsical trailer park wisdom would appeal to the Honey Boo Boo crowd. Jeez, what’s next, Duck Dynasty fans? Speaking of that, just to be clear, I am not the Phil that everyone is so riled up about this week. We’ve suspended him from Phil Club until further notice.

Reasons to hate OprahI’m only surprised that someone had to do a search to find reasons. I can think of at least ten off the top of my head.

Cub Scout cult: If I was to start a cult it definitely wouldn’t be with Cub Scouts, and especially not with the scout leaders. The khaki shorts and kerchief outfit gives me the creeps.

Dog drool germs: Apparently Google thinks my blog is the place to find dog drool germs. That’s why I keep Purel over in the left sidebar. On a related note, if you just looked at my left sidebar to see if it was there I strongly suspect you may be one of the people whose search terms end up in this list.

Kid stuck to popes leg: I’m not allowed to comment until the Vatican issues a public statement.

Ted Cruz catheter: Apparently after reading several passages from #ThePhilFactor during his infamous filibuster Senator Cruz laughed so hard that he peed himself.

Etiquette for men peeing outside: Proving that I am a resource of useful information, yes, there is etiquette for men peeing outside and I wrote about it here.

Celine Dion satanic: I don’t believe for a minute that Satan would want Celine Dion hanging around with him. Her music isn’t evil, it’s just bad.

Horniestintheland.com : I don’t know if that’s a real website and I’m afraid to look, but someone found The Phil Factor by entering that search term. Is there a Horniest in the Land contest? If I entered and posted the link here would you vote for me?

People Magazines sexiest man alive year after year: At least Google search thinks of me as The Sexiest Man Alive even if People Magazine keeps getting it wrong.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your friends by hitting the Facebook share button below. Happy Holidays and have a great weekend!