Tag Archives: Hindi sexting

TBT! Hindi Sexting is Back!

Truth be told, Hindi sexting has never left my blog since a year ago. The post that follows this introduction was written a year ago and not a day has gone by without at least several views of the post through searches. In fact, there are often days where this post is read more times than new original posts. Sadly though the horny Hindi’s don’t leave me any likes or comments.

Real Sexting Conversations To Read in Hindi

(03/28/2015)  Over the past three months or so the title of this post has been appearing repeatedly in the list of search terms that brought people to my blog. Hindi is one of the official languages of India, where approximately 94% of the world’s Hindi speaking people reside. I don’t speak or write in Hindi, nor have I ever, yet through some modern miracle of Google technology, sexting in Hindi is apparently what search engines think my blog is about, so I figured what the heck? Why not put it in the title of a post and see if I could make every internet server in India burst into flames simultaneously this morning.

imgur.com & BBC

imgur.com & BBC

The title is an attention grabber though isn’t it? You’re reading this, so it obviously worked. The fact that the title has been such a popular search term recently makes me wonder if the entire country of India just discovered the art of sexting. Is there going to be a new Kama Sutra written to include Hindi sexting? No offense to any of my Indian friends or readers, but I’m sorry, I can’t imagine any Indian dudes sounding at all sexy when they’re trying to sext. Go ahead, imagine an Indian accent talking sexy to you. The chicks, of course they would sound great. The dudes, I just don’t see it. Ladies, what do you think? If I think of an Indian guy, it’s Raj from The Big Bang Theory. 

fanpop.com

fanpop.com

Is that the face of smoldering Indian sensuality all you ladies want to imagine? Sorry Kunal. I’m sure you didn’t want to be dragged into this. You’re probably a very nice guy who, being a TV star, has no trouble with female companionship. Or male companionship. I don’t know what you’re into and I probably shouldn’t start rumors among all your countrymen and women who are reading this. Although Kunal, if you are having trouble finding your perfect match here’s a wonderful Hindi dating website that can help you.

Of course now the phrase ‘Hindi dating website‘ will be a popular search term that will pull even more people to #ThePhilFactor, so I might as well try to help out. As long as you’re here Hindi folks, if you’re looking for the love of your life, put your pertinent information in the comments section and maybe another of my Hindi fans will do the same and you two can go out for a froyo and celebrate Holi together. (For you dolts who just thought, “He should have said Diwali”, don’t be idiots. Diwali is in the Fall. Holi is the Indian spring celebration)
image

That’s a picture from a Holi celebration in India. Looks like fun huh? You can imagine that after a couple glasses of Feni in a crowd like that …..

I’ve got to admit that my humorous mojo was thrown for a loop in the middle of this. I was in the midst of writing it when my entire neighborhood lost electricity, so I’ve been sitting here in candlelight, like the Amish, writing this on my cell phone. Thank Vishnu that I got my coffee made before the lights went out.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your love starved Hindi friends by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or reblog button below. Whatever you do though, please do not sext me in Hindi. सप्ताहांत बहुत अच्छा गुजरे! Come back Saturday to help me celebrate The Phil Factor’s 11th birthday! ~Phil

HindiFest 2016! (aka Fun with Search Terms)

This isn’t really a post about a festival for my Hindi speaking readers, although Holi is coming up this Wednesday.  This is my quarterly scholarly examination of some of the more unusual search terms that have brought readers to my blog. So, whenever you’re “Googling” something, keep in mind that someone somewhere is reading it and if you don’t log out of your Google account, someone will know who you are.

Real sexting conversations to read in Hindi: For the past 12 months this is by far the most frequent search term that has brought readers to my blog. It has become so prevalent that I’m considering starting a dating site for Hindi speaking people.

Horniestintheland: While this may be true, I’m not sure why searching it brings people to my blog.

Butt and boobs switched: I guess I might as well come clean; I did have my butt and boobs switched in an ill fated stunt to increase my popularity. Hey, it worked for Caitlyn Jenner.

Keep on lying to yourself: Hey, you don’t need to tell me twice. I keep telling myself that if I keep blogging I’ll become hugely popular and people will buy my books. It’s a little lie but it keeps me churning out quality content like this.

Sexiest

People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive: Of course this brings hordes of adoring fans to #ThePhilFactor. I’m just disappointed that I don’t win it every year.

American Idol Phil Taylor: People rarely search this or find out about it, but yes…Remember years ago when certain questionable media outlets alleged that judge Paula Abdul had an affair with a contestant? According to my lawyers I can neither confirm nor deny.

2016 predictions for the world by credible soothsayers: In case you weren’t aware, I am quietly one of the most powerful psychics the world has ever known. Here’s the proof: Read prediction #7 from this post from 2014, then look at this past week’s Life & Style cover:

download

हिंदी सेक्स: Translation: Hindi Sex. This came up twice. In Hindi. My blog is accidentally the new Kama Sutra.

Pope McDonalds: Yeah, unfortunately the paparazzi caught me and Pope Francis sneaking out for a quick bite to eat at 3 a.m. after my bachelor party.

Things the Phil needs: Any psychoanalyst worth anything will tell you that my entire blog is a case study of my needs. Of course because of privacy laws they can’t tell you what it reveals about my mental status, but fortunately Four Winds Psych Hospital has great wi-fi so I can keep posting to The Phil Factor.

Have a great Saturday! ~Phil

How Ron Burgundy Will Save Hindi Sex

article-2147734-13375CC6000005DC-220_306x423

Before anyone gets their knickers in a knot and lectures me on cultural insensitivity, let me give you a quick lesson. Hindi is language. Hindu is a religion. I’m not talking about the religion, I’m talking about many of the people who speak Hindi, which is the official language of India. It’s possible, and probable that there are Hindu’s who speak Hindi, but it’s also possible that there are Hindi’s who are not Hindu. Got that?

Now on to the subject of how my little blog has become a hotspot for the horny Hindi speaking crowd. Yes, the horny Hindi’s love my blog. It started July 19th, 2014. I wrote this post making fun of sexting. For six months after that post I noticed there were about twenty Google searches a day using the phrase “real sexting conversations to read in Hindi” bringing people to my blog. So, being me, I decided to make fun of this trend, never suspecting what would happen. In March this year I wrote this hilarious post. Not only did that post not deter the horny Hindi speaking folks, but it caused them to multiply. It’s at the point where I get at least 100 views a day of my “Real Sexting Conversations to Read In Hindi?” post. Once, almost two years ago, I had a post go a little viral and it got 17,000 views in one day, but then gradually petered out. This Hindi thing seems to be getting stronger. Last month I got over 6000 view of my blog and more than half of them were looking for information on sexting in Hindi. Normally with 6000 views in a month I’d think “Yaaa! 6000 views! I must be awesome!” But you know what? The horny Hindi’s don’t click like or even leave a comment. आप सभी के हिंदी भाषी लोगों को कम से कम की तरह क्लिक करें या एक टिप्पणी को छोड़ सकते हैं?

I figure I can either delete the post and hope my blog goes back to normal (has my blog ever been “normal”?) and be read by people the world over and appreciated for it’s merits, or I can embrace my wonderful Hindi friends who are embracing their smart phones and their sexuality. I don’t know if you’ve picked up on this, but I’m a giver. I give and I care. In this case, I care for my Hindi speaking readers and I’m going to give them some help. Here are a few popular sexting phrases, courtesy of the great romantic film Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, translated into Hindi so that my visitors can improve their game:

download (36)

Ron Burgundy: You have an absolutely breathtaking hiney.

Hindi: आप एक बिल्कुल लुभावनी नीचे है

_______________________________________________________

Ron Burgundy: You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? Maybe don’t wear a bra next time.

Hindi: तुम भय अच्छा आज रात को देखो। हम्म? हो सकता है कि एक ब्रा अगली बार नहीं पहनती।

_______________________________________________________

Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!

Hindi: आप एक बदबूदार समुद्री डाकू वेश्या हैं

_______________________________________________________

Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I’m gonna put this out there: if you like it, you can take it. If you don’t, send it right back … I want to be ON you.

Hindi: मैं कुछ कहना चाहता हूँ। मैं वहाँ वाला यह बाहर डाल रहा हूँ: अगर तुम इसे पसंद है, आप इसे ले जा सकते हैं। आप इसे सही वापस नहीं भेजते हैं … मैं तुम पर होना चाहते हैं।

_______________________________________________________

thanchorman

Ron Burgundy: I don’t know how to put this but I’m kind of a big deal. People know me. I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Hindi: मैं इस डाल करने के लिए पता नहीं है, लेकिन मैं एक बड़ा सौदा की तरह कर रहा हूँ। लोग मुझे जानते हैं। मैं बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण रहा हूँ। मैं कई चमड़े बाध्य किताबें हैं और मेरे घर अमीर महोगनी की बदबू आ रही है।

_______________________________________________________

You know that somewhere, one Hindi speaking dude is going to read this, share it with his friends and they’ll spend the next five years texting these lines to girls. For my English reading friends, I will return to my regularly scheduled idiocy on Monday. For all my wonderful Hindi friends,  एक टिप्पणी छोड़ दो और फेसबुक पर साझा करें Have a great weekend! ~Phil

*All Ron Burgundy and Anchorman images and quotes property of Dreamworks Pictures.

Throwback Thursday! When I Get That Feeling I Want Textual Healing

This is the post that started all the trouble. After this post last July I started getting visits to my blog from people in India and Pakistan who found me using the term “real sexting conversations to read in Hindi.” It got to the point where 20-30 people a month found #ThePhilFactor using that term. Then I decided to see what would happen if I wrote a post about it. In February I wrote Real Sexting Conversations to Read in Hindi. Since then I get 20-30 visits a day from horny Hindi people. Anyway, I think the original post was funny on it’s own merits. Have a read:

(July 19, 2014)  When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law. A law about texting. Not a safety law, a common sense law. The fact that right now you are reading something longer than a text tells me that you’ll probably be on board with my idea.

wonka

“Pick up milk on the way home” is something we might text someone to save time. We are right to try to save time. You only get so much of it in life. We all use our phones to text right? There is no other texting device that I know of.  You text because you want to say one brief thing and you don’t want a whole conversation, right? Have you ever felt foolish because it took you longer to text than it would have if you just made a quick phone call?  I recently discovered this app on my texting device that also let’s me make phone calls!

With my recent discovery came an idea. What if, and stick with me here because this gets a little complicated; what if when it would be faster than texting, we actually just called someone up and said what we had to say? When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law stating that if it would be quicker to call than text, you are required to do so.  You’re probably saying to yourself, But Phil, which is a strange thing to say to yourself, won’t it seem rude if I just call someone, say one thing and hang up? Through a series of educational public service ads, starring me of course, my law will make it socially acceptable to do so.

A typical exchange might go like this:

Husband: (ring ring. Wife picks up) Don’t forget I’m golfing with the guys after work and then we’ll probably stop for a few drinks. (click)

Wife: (ring, ring. Hubby picks up) Have a good game. Don’t be too late. (click)

How nice would that be right? See? I’m getting people talking again. That’s what The Phil Factor is all about, bringing people together. I’m removing one small technological barrier to healthy relationships. If we call instead of text there will be fewer misunderstandings because we wouldn’t misinterpret jokes or take things the wrong way because we didn’t hear the tone of voice.  The real fun would come when people apply my law to sexting! Picture this series of exchanges as live, quick phone calls:

Guy: (ring, ring. Girl picks up) What are you wearing? (click)

Girl: (ring, ring. Guy picks up) Absolutely nothing. (click)

Guy: (ring, ring. Girl picks up) That’s so hot! (click)

Girl: (ring, ring. Guy picks up) I’m all alone. Wish you were here. (click)

Guy: (ring, ring. Girl picks up) If I was there what would you do? (click)

(ring, ring. Guy picks up) Could you come over and snake my drain? The sink in the downstairs bathroom is really slow. (click)

Guy: (hits redial. Last caller picks up) Oh yeah baby. I’d love to snake your drain. Have I got a plunger for you! (click)

(ring, ring. Guy picks up) Jimmy! What the hell was that? Who talks to their mother like that! You are a sick, sick boy. Forget it. I’m calling a real plumber to snake my drain, if you know what I mean. (click)

Akward-Text-conversations-with-parents-7

Ok, so maybe my plan has a few flaws, but for other things, I think calling and talking would work just fine. As always, if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor feel free to share by hitting the Facebook or Twitter share buttons below or by reblogging. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil 

Real Sexting Conversations To Read in Hindi?

Over the past three months or so the title of this post has been appearing repeatedly in the list of search terms that brought people to my blog. Hindi is one of the official languages of India, where approximately 94% of the world’s Hindi speaking people reside. I don’t speak or write in Hindi, nor have I ever, yet through some modern miracle of Google technology, sexting in Hindi is apparently what search engines think my blog is about, so I figured what the heck? Why not put it in the title of a post and see if I could make every internet server in India burst into flames simultaneously this morning.

imgur.com & BBC

imgur.com & BBC

The title is an attention grabber though isn’t it? You’re reading this, so it obviously worked. The fact that the title has been such a popular search term recently makes me wonder if the entire country of India just discovered the art of sexting. Is there going to be a new Kama Sutra written to include Hindi sexting? No offense to any of my Indian friends or readers, but I’m sorry, I can’t imagine any Indian dudes sounding at all sexy when they’re trying to sext. Go ahead, imagine an Indian accent talking sexy to you. The chicks, of course they would sound great. The dudes, I just don’t see it. Ladies, what do you think? If I think of an Indian guy, it’s Raj from The Big Bang Theory. 

fanpop.com

fanpop.com

Is that the face of smoldering Indian sensuality all you ladies want to imagine? Sorry Kunal. I’m sure you didn’t want to be dragged into this. You’re probably a very nice guy who, being a TV star, has no trouble with female companionship. Or male companionship. I don’t know what you’re into and I probably shouldn’t start rumors among all your countrymen and women who are reading this. Although Kunal, if you are having trouble finding your perfect match here’s a wonderful Hindi dating website that can help you.

Of course now the phrase ‘Hindi dating website’ will be a popular search term that will pull even more people to #ThePhilFactor, so I might as well try to help out. As long as you’re here Hindi folks, if you’re looking for the love of your life, put your pertinent information in the comments section and maybe another of my Hindi fans will do the same and you two can go out for a froyo and celebrate Holi together. (For you dolts who just thought, “He should have said Diwali”, don’t be idiots. Diwali is in the Fall. Holi is the Indian spring celebration)
image

That’s a picture from a Holi celebration in India. Looks like fun huh? You can imagine that after a couple glasses of Feni in a crowd like that …..

I’ve got to admit that my humorous mojo was thrown for a loop in the middle of this. I was in the midst of writing it when my entire neighborhood lost electricity, so I’ve been sitting here in candlelight, like the Amish, writing this on my cell phone. Thank Vishnu that I got my coffee made before the lights went out.

As always, if you enjoyed The Phil Factor please share it with your love starved Hindi friends by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or reblog button below. Whatever you do though, please do not sext me in Hindi. सप्ताहांत बहुत अच्छा गुजरे! Have a great weekend! ~Phil