Gosh the Olympic athletes are just wonderfully wholesome aren’t they? Playing a sport they love just for the sake of enjoying competition. They all deserve to be on that Wheaties box that your kids see on the kitchen table.
As in past games, Olympic officials will distribute more than 100,000 condoms to the 10,500 athletes housed in the Olympic village. That’s roughly 10 condoms per athlete. If you consider that some athletes won’t need them because they’re faithfully married, have a same-sex relationship, or just monogamous with someone, that means that someone is getting a whole lot of nooky. I wonder if the Olympic athletes have some unofficial records for some of the sports they participate in when the lights go out? And don’t you imagine that if they’re getting jiggy with it, they do it with nothing but their medals on? I know that’s what I would do.
Picture credit Slate.com
When you’re watching the Tokyo Olympics and that wholesome guy or gal is stepping down from the medal podium, aren’t you going to be wondering who they’ll be medaling with later? And if they do, are there judges holding up scorecards?
Spoiler alert, in case you didn’t know, Sunday is Groundhog Day. Who doesn’t love this movie? Especially since Bill Murray’s character was named Phil. Coincidence? I think not. Also, here’s another spoiler alert, today, February 1st, 2020, I added a new question at the end of this post that I’d be very interested in hearing your thoughts on.
This post was originally written for #ThePhilFactor on Feb. 2, 2006 and I now post it every year, over and over, just like Phil’s Groundhog Day in the movie.
(Feb. 2, 2006) Last week I waxed philosophic about the idiocy known as The Dr. Phil Show. This week, and today in particular it’s Punxsutawney Phil. Groundhog Day the movie: Good idea. Groundhog Day the tradition: Stupid idea. The dimwitted people of Punxsatawney, Pennsylvannia have been shoving a rodent through a hole in a tree stump for almost 200 hundred years to find out if there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Hey morons, you live in the Northeast! There’s always 6 more weeks of winter! Check the calendar! It says that Spring starts on March 21st. That’s 7 weeks from now. You don’t need a rat being spooked by his shadow to figure this one out. At this point I’m getting tired of all these wanna-be Phil’s trying to horn in on my fame. If, coincidentally, a shot were to ring out in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today and a certain rodent were to explode in a puff of fur, I was kidding when I wrote this. No harm meant, just a joke. You’ll all be my alibi right?
I’m curious, if you could have one day of your life to do over until you get it right, what day would that be and why? As always, if you enjoyed this vintage Phil Factor feel free to share it via the social media buttons below. Have a great Friday! ~Phil
Self-proclaimed grand poobah of leisure and author of humorous suspense novels The Sneaker Tree & White Picket Prisons, the humor essay book Fifty Shades of Phil and the long running blog The Phil Factor.