Tag Archives: Drake

Maybe I’m Edward Snowden: Fun with Search Terms

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Remember how everyone was all upset about Snowden’s revelation that the government could be looking into all our online activity? If it upset you when the government was doing it, I wonder how you’d feel if say…somebody like me was doing it?

Here is a list of some of the best search terms of the last three months that brought people to #ThePhilFactor with my commentary on some of them.

Men with a scorpion tattoo in his ass: I swear this probably isn’t referring to me. In 2011 I  wrote a post called “The Man with the Scorpion Tattoo

Angry jokes about Candy Crush: This is only a partial list. Sadly, Candy Crush was the most frequent topic that lead people to my blog. They must have been so disappointed. My Candy Crush post from earlier this year is the reason.

Philthy Animal Taylor 2013: People always mistake me for the old Motorhead drummer

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I always feel like Obama watching me: Dude, seriously, lighten up. Obama has bigger things to worry about.

The world can be amazing when you’re a slightly strange author: This one is by far my favorite. I have no idea what algorithm Google has that made it decide I was the answer to this search, but I love it.

Reasons to hate Oprah: Really? Someone needs to look up reasons?

Beware the Canadian Twitter Invasion: This is the title of my favorite post of 2013. It will definitely make it into the sequel to Fifty Shades of Phil

Amish hats cooler: I luv me some Amish!

TSA bicep check: Well of course I was the answer to this search!

Sarcastic birthday cards for an aunt: Hmmm…a Phil Factor line of sarcastic greeting cards. That sounds like a great idea. Cha-ching!

Horniestintheland tumblr.com: I’m not sure whose blog this is, but I just bought the domain name. Just because.

Phil Factor movie: Shhhh….I’m not supposed to say anything until the deal with the studio is finalized.

Drake Justin Phil: I wonder if Drake and the Biebs are looking at their blog info and thinking, “Cool, I was included in a search with Phil!”

First person to beat Candy Crush: I’m not saying I was the first, but I’m not saying I wasn’t. You know how modest I can be.

I’m sorry to have disappointed you if you were looking for my usual Throwback Thursdays post. I’ll return to posting my weekly re-run next week. As always, if you got a laugh out of #ThePhilFactor please check out my books and hit the Facebook and Twitter share buttons below. See you Saturday!

Beware the Canadian Twitter Invasion

tweetAbout three years ago one of my sons had taken one of those silver permanent markers that are often used for autographs and wrote “Tweetin’ is a Habit” on his guitar case. At the time I remember thinking to myself, Holy crap! What an incredible dork! I didn’t think this because he was a fan of Twitter though. I thought it because he was an incredible dork.

Two or three years ago I signed up for a Twitter account but never really used it. Recently, thanks to my new friend @GregoryGAllen, I have become a Tweeter, or a Twitterer, or is it a Twit? Most would argue that it’s the third, and perhaps always was.

For those of us in the United States, using Twitter is like going to Canada. Like Canada, the Twitter language, customs, and etiquette are almost like ours, but just a little bit off. And there’s no weird money with pictures of geese. Although, I suppose the Twitter bird logo might be a goose. Maybe Twitter is a Canadian plot to bring down the U.S. by slowly distracting our entire workforce little by little until the country comes to a screeching halt and is ready for an invasion by their Dudley Do-Right military force. We’d have to be really distracted for them to invade us with a bunch of red-suited, horse-riding, unarmed soldiers. Did you know that the Canadians have their own internet? That seems kind of suspicious doesn’t it? If you put ca either in front of or behind a web address you can sneak into the Canadian internet. I did this once and found someone mocking the Americans on his sarcastic little Frenchy blog.  Jerk.

I checked the trending topics on the Canadian Twitter and it’s mostly stuff about bacon, maple syrup, hockey and Alex Trebek. You know why I’m certain that the Canadians are out to get us? Justin Bieber. Yup, he’s a Canadian spy sent to the U.S. to distract us. See, the thing is, Canadians aren’t an aggressive bunch. They’re hoping that if enough teens are distracted by Justin Bieber and Drake they’ll ignore their studies and eventually our future society will fall apart and we’ll have to rely on some crazy form of their socialized medicine. Oh wait a minute….

I initially set out to write a funny blog about Twitter and some of the strange abbreviations and terms I’ve had to learn as I’ve gotten up to speed in the Twitterverse, but just like everything else, I was distracted by the Canadians. They are a wily, bewitching bunch aren’t they? Brief fun fact, which I didn’t know until college; my high schools song and the Canadian anthem are sung to the same tune. I’m not sure which came first. Just more evidence that they’re infiltrating our society. Anywho, (which I think is a Canadian saying) if you Tweet and want another Twit you can follow me @ThePhilFactor by clicking the Twitter button up there in the left sidebar. As always, if you even smirked a little as you read this please hit the Facebook and Twitter share buttons below.