Tag Archives: ThePhilFactor

I’m Not Wrong Yet…

Posted on November 6, 2024 | 2 comments

Remember my 2024 psychic predictions that I published in December 2023? (Feel free to go back and read them. I’m doing pretty well)  One of my psychic predictions was that neither Biden or Trump would be the next President.

Several months ago I was proven half right when Joe Biden withdrew from the race. Some of you may think I’m wrong because Donald Trump won the election. Guess what? Donald Trump does not become President until he is sworn in on January 20, 2025.

My psychic noggin is feeling that something may still be awry in the universe. I’m not trying to wish anything into being, but it’s just a feeling.

Other than my Wordless Wednesdays that I used to do on my blog, where I’d just post an interesting picture from my camera roll without words, this might be my shortest post ever. I think I’ll restart the Wordless Wednesdays. I hope you’ll join me, and I hope that you’re having a great week. ~Phil

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The All New Riveting Plot of EVERY Hallmark Movie 2024

Posted on November 3, 2024 | 5 comments

Pic from Hallmark

Yes, it’s that time of year! Put away all those Halloween decorations, grab a cup of hot cocoa and settle in for the two best holiday traditions; Hallmark movies and my annual blog making fun of them.

What are these two trying to do? I’m not sure I want to know the answer.

Christmas, you say? No, Christmas is just a secondary annoyance. To all the people born with at least one romantic bone in their body and a high tolerance for mediocre acting, November is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s Hallmark Christmas movie time! Or as Lacey Chabert, Dean Cain and Candace Cameron Bure call it, “The only time we make any money.”

Pic from Hallmark.  It’s just bad actors and actresses running to the Hallmark studio to collect paychecks they don’t deserve

Being married to one of these Hallmark movie loving people, I inadvertently see several Hallmark Christmas movies every year.  I couldn’t help but notice that each unique Hallmark Christmas movie has the exact same plot as every other Hallmark movie. To save you from having to watch the actual movies, here’s how it goes:

Guy or gal who left home several years ago is very successful at some high falutin’ job in a big city somewhere, then they come back to their Smalltown, USA hometown for Thanksgiving or a funeral. Oh no! Their family’s business is failing! Or maybe beloved Uncle Walt passed away and they’re going to lose the farm! What? The only way they can save the farm, family business or special hometown festival is if the impossibly attractive person stays longer than they planned. Maybe until Christmas! I can’t believe it. What are the chances of that?!!?

Just what I need, imagining my medical providers getting it on in the closet while I bleed out in the ER

Successful and attractive returning guy or gal runs into the sister or brother of a friend they knew in high school. He or she “was just a kid back then” but now they’re “all grown up” and they’ve really blossomed into a hunk or a hottie. At first they may not like each other but everyone else can see the obvious chemistry. Despite the fact that they annoy each other, they have to work together to save the business, ranch, town  or whatever. There’s always something that needs saving.

Why pick one? Haven’t the Hallmark writers ever heard of polyamory?

Of course it will all inevitably lead to a playful snowball fight between the two in the town square where they will tumble into a pile of egregiously fake snow and look longingly into each others eyes.

Oh no! Mischievous family members trying to get two dummies together! What will happen?

Guess what everyone, that’s the plot of every episode of The Gilmore Girls too. You’re welcome. I’ve just saved you the trouble of watching every single Hallmark movie this year. But you know what? I know you’re going to watch them. It’s as inevitable as that moment when the returning hometown hero says “this is where I’ve wanted to be all along” as they finally kiss their new love and gaze at the Christmas tree.  Cue Christmas music and fade out to credits.

 

A funny thing happened this year when I sat down to update this blog. I kind of turned into a Hallmark fan and here’s why: I went to Hallmark’s Countdown to Christmas page and amongst the pictures of smiling, impossibly perfect people, I discovered that Henry Winkler was in a 2008 Hallmark movie. That man is an effing national treasure! I’m watching The Most Wonderful Time of The Year (2008) as I write this and on repeat now until December 26th.

Why didn’t they call this “Fonzie Getting Jolly”?

Ugh. Those movies are so fake sugary, saccharin sweet that they should have a disclaimer warning diabetics not to watch them. Really, I’m not a Grinch. I love the holidays and I mock them because I love them. Just like you. Have a great Sunday! ~Phil

P.S. Dear Hallmark, I’ll let you sponsor this Phil Factor blog for the right price!

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Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Posted on October 27, 2024 | 1 comment

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

pumpkin

10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

This is me on my way to work two weeks from now

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

www.wearyourbeer.com http://www.wearyourbeer.com

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share. Have a great Sunday!~Phil

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For Cripes Sake Hallmark!

Posted on October 19, 2024 | 4 comments

First of all, who is Cripes and why do we want their sake?  Isn’t that Japanese wine? Hallmark (yes, I’m yelling at you) for cripes sake and all that is holy, why in the world did you debut a NEW HALLMARK CHRISTMAS MOVIE yesterday on October 18th?!!? Is nothing sacred? Can we not continue to watch slasher movies in preparation for this country’s  most beloved holiday, Halloween?!!?

Is there not some sort of governing body that should prevent this type of atrocity? In my mind, Halloween gets September after Labor Day and thru midnight October 31st. Then, beginning on November 1st, then and only then should Christmas and Hallmark Christmas movies have free reign to broadcast all the Christmas/Hannukah content they want. Hallmark has Fall/Halloween movies! Why aren’t they pushing those right now?

For my readers who thought this would be a fun blog about your corny Hallmark  movies, you can click on the video above and watch the whole fricking movie right from my blog. See Hallmark! You made this effing Fall movie, why aren’t you cramming that down people throats? It’s literally demonic what you are trying to do to Halloween. Hey readers, here’s a phrase you can use, “Hallmark is cannibalizing the corny movie market with their holiday tripe.”

Lacey Chabert practicing her smoldering look. Who does she think that will work on?

I guarantee you that Hallmark will not have a problem with me ranting like a berserker about their corny content. And what about Lacey Chabert? Why is she in every freaking movie? Does she not have enough money yet? Her annual income from Hallmark movie residuals could probably resolve the federal deficit. And she has yet to agree to an interview with The Phil Factor. That’s how snooty she is. How can you trust someone like that?

And those of you that enjoy my highly intelligent paranormal content? What happens to you during Hallmark season? You’re stuck with sicky sweet stuff like this full-length movie that you can watch right here:

Knowing Hallmark, they will probable sue me for this blog post including their content. Worse yet, they might create another Hallmark Christmas movie about a grumpy, Scrooge-like writer who pans their movies until he learns the real meaning of Christmas in October.

They’d probably have the gall to ask me to do a cameo in that movie just so I’ll promote their content to my readers again. My readers, which I’m sure outnumber the Hallmark fans by a wide margin. And, if you watch Hallmark today, there will be another all-new Hallmark Christmas movie, and more every day until Christmas. Ugh. Ratings snooze-fest.

Happy Saturday and thanks for reading! ~Phil

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The Future is Here!

Posted on October 14, 2024 | 5 comments

Pic from uniladtech.com

Well, the future is not here on The Phil Factor. If this was the future, I’d be sending this blog to you just by thinking it. What I’m referring to is my blog post from February 3rd when I reported that Elon Musk’s company Neuralink had implanted a device in a living human brain that was supposed allow that paralyzed person to control a computer or smart phone just by thinking it.

Well, it worked. Eleven months ago Noland Arbaugh had to hold a stick in his mouth to tap keyboard keys. Now he’s playing online chess by thinking his moves. Eight months after the brain implant he went to France to open a speed chess championship!

Pic from NewRepublic.com

Elon Musk looks and sounds like a villain from a spy movie. He seemed like one when we thought he ruined Twitter, now known as X, but maybe, despite his grating personality, he’s doing some very good things.

Now at Neuralink, he’s working on curing certain types of blindness.  SpaceX is also his baby and is commercializing space travel by bringing supplies and people to the International Space Station. If you’re interested, SpaceX also has a merch store! No, you can’t buy a ticket to space flight… yet, but you can get a cool SpaceX t-shirt or models of some of the SpaceX rockets. 

Pic from ign.com

I’m not a Elon Musk fan because of his politics and his personality, but is it possible that he’s not a terrible person? It seems like he’s doing good things. Would a bad person do good philanthropic things? 

If I can acknowledge that Elon’s not the worst person in the world, and that his work has helped humanity, maybe it’s possible for all of us in the States and every country to try to see the positive in others and see people as individuals rather than just one group against another. If you take a minute to get to know that neighbor with a political sign you don’t agree with, maybe you’ll find out that they’re a nice person. In the immortal words of Lenny Kravitz:

Come on people
It’s time to get together
It’s time for the revolution
Here is once again in our face
Why haven’t we learn from our past
We’re at the crossroads of our human race
Why are we kicking our own ass
We want peace

We Want Peace, Lenny Kravitz 2004

Pic from guitartopreview.com

Btw, Elon Musk, if you read this on X, hit me up in my email authorphiltaylor@gmail or on X and I’ll interview you here.

Happy Monday everbody! I hope you have a great week, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

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If You Really Like Halloween…

Posted on October 5, 2024 | 9 comments

Pic from iStockPhoto.com

Halloween is coming up and some of us enjoy it more than others. If you’re one of those people, I have good news! There are several Halloween-like holidays all over the world that you can put on your calendar to celebrate the spooky stuff almost all year round.

Pic by Creator: SAEED KHAN

The Yulan Festival-China: Like most good festivals that celebrate the dead, fire has to be involved. The Yulan Festival also known as The Hungry Ghost Festival occurs on the 15th night of the 7th month, which is July. It is believed that on the day of the Yulan Festival, the gates of hell open so that ghosts can roam the Earth in search of food and entertainment.

Entertainment? What kind of entertainment do ghosts want? They watch us all the time. That’s got to be pretty funny. And the ghosts want food too? For cripes sake, I don’t want to spend my after-life trick or treating in the nearest neighborhood. I wonder if they order out for Chinese? Fortunately, in China the living perform rituals and have a feast to appease the spirits. Ok, so we’ve got July and October covered for spookiness now.

Pic from National Geographic

The Obon Festival-Japan/Brazil/California: Another celebrating the dead festival that in some places is actually multiple festivals lasting from June through August. Food, fire, costumes, music and dancing. Who knew someone else’s death could be this fun! Ok, Obon pulled in June, so now we’ve got spooky holidays/celebrations from June through November. November you say? What happens in November? Well…

Smith/Getty Images)

Dia de Muertos-Mexico and neighboring countries. Otherwise known as The Day of The Dead, this celebration occurs from Oct. 31 through the first week of November. The multi-day holiday involves family and friends gathering to pay respects and remember friends and family members who have died. These celebrations can take a humorous tone, as celebrants remember amusing anecdotes about the departed. It’s one of my favorites as evidenced by my sugar skull and tie in the pic below:

So we’ve now got spookiness for five months. Sadly, we do have to skip the month of December to let Hannukah and Christmas to have their time, although I do plan on looking for some spooky Christmas content for you.

Pic from Bildderfrau.De

Walpurgis Night and Beltane: They occur at the same time but in different countries. Walpurgis Nacht (Night) is a German tradition, while Beltane is Irish & Scottish. They do occur on the same dates April 30/May 1.

Walpurgis Night was started to honor Saint Walpurga who was known for battling rabies, whooping cough and witches. Rabies, whooping cough and witches? Those German med school final exams must have been super weird. The night of April 30th into May 1st is supposed to be when the witches gather and ride. Walpurgis Night is celebrated in the Netherlands, Germany, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Sweden, Lithuania, Latvia, Finland, and Estonia. In Finland, Denmark and Norway

Beltane: Source Nen.press

Beltane? Stuff like that pic above happens in drag clubs all over the states every day. You should see Key West on New Year’s Eve. To be honest, I’ve seen things online about a lot of crazy festivals in Europe, such as the Boom Festival, that I’d love to go to, but that would be a whole other blog post.

Beltane historically has been celebrated in Ireland, Scotland and The Isle of Man. Btw, here’s a shout out to that one Isle of Man Phil Factor reader. I see you showing up in my stats. Don’t be shy! Say hi in the comments.

The Celts see Beltane as the beginning of Summer and it brings back life & fertility. Bel was a Celtic god, and the name Beltane means the ‘fire of Bel’. Fire is central to the celebrations on the belief that it has protective powers. It’s believed that rituals of walking around or leaping over bonfires will bring good fortune, fertility, happiness and third degree burns.

There you go. I’ve given you spooky stuff to celebrate In April, May, June, July, August, September, October and November. That’s 8 different months to get your spooky on. If you know of any other traditions, festivals or celebrations with a spooky theme, feel free to shout out or post a link in the comments.

Have a great weekend, and thanks for reading! ~Phil

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Remember The Northampton Clown? Isn’t It Time For Another?

Posted on September 29, 2024 | 3 comments

Remember in 2013 when a guy in a creepy clown costume just started appearing on streetcorners in Northampton, England? It was an internet sensation that bred copycat “Killer Clowns” popping up and freaking people out all over the world.

In 2013 I tried to reach the Northampton clown for an interview, but alas, despite my worldwide reputation, or maybe because of my worldwide reputation, The Northampton Clown avoided me. Later that year it was revealed that it was a university student who was trying to gain notoriety for his film project. That he definitely did.

It’s 2024, isn’t time for another clown craze? Clown people everywhere, this your call to action! I implore you to pull your clown costumes out of the back of the closet and just take a nice walk around your neighborhood. Each and every one of you could be the “Northampton Clown” for your neighborhood!

Have a great Sunday! ~Phil

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Send In The Clowns

Posted on September 28, 2024 | 5 comments


I’d like to address a very serious subject. A malady if you will, that afflicts thousands, maybe millions, of people each and every day. It is a subject of such horror, such an abomination, that those who suffer from this disorder hide it, even from their loved ones.

That mullet and vest combo truly terrifies me.

I am, of course, speaking of Coulrophobia. No, Coulrophobia is not the fear of Dave Coulier. If it were, that would be my problem. Well, me and Alanis Morissette. Coulrophobia is “the irrational and persistent fear of clowns.” Yes, it is so prevalent it has been given a scientific name by psychologists. Apparently this is a very serious subject because there are hundreds of websites dedicated to discussing and curing this fear.

I don’t get it!!!! What the hell is so scary about a guy in makeup, big pants, and floppy red shoes? You know what they say, big feet big… I suppose that’s why they have to wear the big pants. Do you Coulrophobes think that the squirting flower they wear is symbolic of what’s going on in the big pants perhaps?

Is it the swollen red nose that suggests alcoholism? C’mon, we all have a lovable, old drunk somewhere in our family tree! And yes, I intentionally put that big clown picture at the top of the article just to freak out the clown-o-phobes. Aside from John Wayne Gacy, can anyone else name a clown that has ever done anyone any harm? (No, Michael Jackson doesn’t count!) If you weren’t creeped out by clowns before, I’ll bet you are now, but in a different way. Enjoy the circus this year everyone!

Have a great Saturday! Thanks for clowning around with me! ~Phil

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The Clown Whisperer

Posted on September 27, 2024 | 6 comments

What do you think of clowns? I was working on two thoughtful, interesting blog posts this morning when, while watching the news, I discovered that my city is hosting a clown festival  this weekend! Who doesn’t love clowns, am I right? A clown festival is certainly an activity that doesn’t seem necessary for any reason. I feel like it’s an event just inviting a serial killer to our city. Ok, come on you clown lovers, show me some hate in the comments if you’d like to present a different perspective.

When the topic of clowns came up, I remembered that years ago, at least a decade, I wrote a post about clowns.  I went back and read it and liked it, so I’m going to give it to you today. I also discovered that I had written a couple other blogs espousing the joy of clowns, so it’s going to be a full-on clown weekend! I love a good theme.

The Clown Whisperer (first published Aug. 7, 2007)

(This is a true story from several years ago)

Yesterday started out normally enough and then I saw the first clown. Yes, I said the first clown. There is no circus in town. There was no parade yesterday. But there he was, in front of the guitar store waiting for a ride. He sat on the bench and carefully arranged his clown suitcase and his other clown accoutrements in front of him as he waited. I became self-conscious that he might notice me staring even though I was watching him in my rear view mirror. He appeared to look in my direction, right at my rear view mirror and into my soul. A chill crept across my heart. I looked down for a moment, fearful that he was returning my gaze and I’d suddenly be mesmerized by his piercing stare. Then when I looked up again he was gone. It was so sudden that I wasn’t certain he’d ever been there. There was no car pulling away. No trail of endless brightly colored handkerchiefs. Just nothing. He was…gone.

 
Later in the day I was driving home from running some errands and as I stopped at a traffic light I looked at the car turning left, crossing the intersection in front of me. What I saw looking back at me was unbelievable. Two clowns in a car. Yep, only two. But they were clowns in full makeup looking at me as they passed. “WTF,” I thought. And then they were gone, just like the other one.
Why? Why are all these clowns showing up? What is the meaning? Why are they following me? As far as omens go, this can’t be a good one. Randomly seeing three clowns in one day with no circus or parade going on? That is effing weird. Apparently I’m The Clown Whisperer. Enjoy your coulrophobia! Have a great Thursday! ~Phil

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It’s Pumpkin Spice SZN !!!

Posted on August 31, 2024 | 2 comments

Pic courtesy of Starbucks

I was also going to name this “A Pumpkin Flavored Phil Factor”. It’s that time of year, again. Sigh.  It has begun. Pumpkin flavored everything is back in stores! WTH? Seriously, are pumpkins such a wonderful delicacy that we have to flavor EVERYTHING with them? Why pumpkin? Is there any other time of year where a flavor takes over the country for a couple months? Around the winter holidays why isn’t there nog flavored everything? Around St. Patrick’s Day we’ve got our Shamrock Shakes, but that’s about it. How about this? I’m going to give you a list of ten pumpkin flavored items below and you try to guess which one isn’t real.

1. SPAM

2. Twinkies

3. Donuts

4. Condoms

 

5. Soda pop

6. Potato chips

7. Pasta

8. Cookies

9. Vodka

10. Hamburgers

If you guessed the pumpkin flavored condom was fake, you are right! The other nine items all exist out there in this pumpkin flavored world. That’s too much pumpkin flavored stuff. What’s next, pumpkin-flavored fish sandwiches at McDonald’s? This time of year it’s actually an effort not to accidentally eat something pumpkin flavored. This madness must end!

When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law stating that any company that produces a pumpkin flavored food item has to have it approved through a special sub-committee and if it is just too stupid of an idea they will not be allowed to sell it. If you know of any other odd pumpkin flavored foods or drinks please share them in the comments.

As always, if you enjoy what you read at #ThePhilFactor and want to support my bid for President, or Sexiest Man Alive, please hit the Facebook share button.

Have a great weekend! ~Phil

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