The Annual Blogger’s Bash Awards voting is going on now! You can vote for #ThePhilFactor for Funniest Blog by clicking HERE! You don’t even have to be a blogger. Anyone can vote! Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil
Blogging, for those who can’t find enough friends to complain to on Facebook! Let’s face it, we’re bloggers. We blog. We’re part of what larger society regards as a bunch of odd balls. I suppose it’s possible that some of us are odd balls, loners in their mom’s basement, or crazy people. (yes, I’m looking at you) But then, there’s the rest of us. I’ve blogged long enough to see that although we’re all bloggers, there are sub-groups among us. Stereotypes, if you will. Are you one of them?
The “Humor” Blogger: I figured that if I’m going to offend some of my blogging friends, I might as well start with myself: There’s lots of humor bloggers and none of us are ever as funny as we think we are. I know that when I, and my fellow humor bloggers, have penned a sarcastic masterpiece of social commentary and with an exaggerated flourish and the sound of angels in our heads, triumphantly hit Publish, we sit back with a satisfied smile waiting for our readers to fawn upon our comedic genius in the comments. What really happens is: check stats, sigh, refresh, ugh, still only ten views? “What is wrong with people? This is hilarious! I shared to Facebook, but it’s been an hour. It’s way down peoples feeds. I’d better post it again. I know they don’t want to miss my Saturday post.”
The ‘I’m Writing a Book‘ Blogger: Occasionally I may fall into this category too, but others don’t just fall into this category, they burst right out of it. Repeatedly. What’s that? You’re a blogger and you’re writing a book? I’ve never heard of such a thing! Could you please mention it on your blog, daily, so we never forget? And please, by all means, tweet about it too. What’s that? It’s your first novel and you’re on the twenty-seventh revision so you can get it just right before sending to a publisher. Please tell us more!
The Music Blogger: Yes, we get that you know more music than us and all of your friend
s. No, we don’t want to hear the ‘B side’ of Vanilla Ice’s little known folk rock album released just last year.
The Blogging Expert Blogger: What? You have ten thousand followers? Yes, please write another post about Search Engine Optimization so I get more views on my blog. And by all means, make it a list of 99 Ways To…
The Fashion Blogger: Pictures of new clothes you’re buying? I can’t get enough! You’re so chic and your lifestyle is so glamorous! What?!!? You have an Instagram with millions more pictures of you in clothes? Be still my beating heart! Why aren’t there guy fashion blogs?
The Mommy Blogger: You have kids and they’re funny and you write stories about their adorable antics? How unique! You should write a book! And please add in how you’re trying to lose the baby weight and tell us about your workout routine!
Well, which stereotype are you? Are there stereotypes I missed? Put your suggestions in the comments and have a great Saturday! ~Phil
When Al Gore invented the internet he had no idea most of it would be wasted by bloggers. Allowing just anyone to blog without a screening process is like letting ‘The People of Walmart’ walk around with a p.a, system all the time. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should. It’s gotten so bad that even Fox News has a blog.
Bloggers have no idea what the rest of us think of them. In conversation if you ask someone what they do and they respond with, “I’m a school teacher and a blogger,” how do you react? Most of us roll our eyes and sigh, hopefully not too noticeably because we don’t want to upset the “blogger.” You know how volatile they can be. They might run off and write a scathing post about us that would be read by all of their friend. The one thing that we don’t do when someone tells us they’re a blogger is to say, “What’s your blog about?” In fact I’m fairly certain that last sentence was the first time in history that those words have actually been assembled into a sentence.
I imagine that at internet headquarters the people in charge are getting pissed. I picture a bunch a poindexter brainiacs in a room looking at a white board with a pie chart titled “Internet” that shows the internet contains 10% legitimate websites, 40% pornography/dating sites, and 50% blogs. Next to that would be another pie chart titled “Blogs with redeeming social value.” That chart is just a big empty circle.
Blogging is so 2005 isn’t it? There was a time when it was kind of cool to have a blog. Ok, maybe there wasn’t, but now that virtually every person in the public eye has a website masquerading as a “blog” that you can comment on it is so not cool. You know what is cool is the Harlem Shake. Nope, definitely not. As soon as someone in my demographic knows what something is, like blogging or the Harlem Shake, then that thing has lost whatever cache it might have had. Seriously, I just nailed down Gangnam Style and now I have to learn the Harlem Shake? I think the definitive way to tell if some pop culture trend is past it’s cool peak is that if someone with a blog describes it as cool.
What is hot now is Vlogging. Video Blogging! Instead of writing words you read, all of us arrogant dolts who think you want to know our thoughts are now on Youtube in front of our webcam telling you what we think. I know, that’s pretty hot right? I guess Tosh.0 has to get his material somewhere.
I just wrote a sarcastic blog about blogging. Does that make me an ironic hipster? I’m not sure, but if I just said ironic hipster then it is definitely not cool to be one. I’ll make a deal with you. If at least 10 of you go back to your Facebook page and click the “Share” link under this I promise I won’t ever do a Vlog. This is a birthday present to my big brother Steve whose birthday was yesterday and he asked me to write a sarcastic blog about bloggers.