Category Archives: blogging

Wordless Wednesday? Not This Week, I Need Your Votes!

The Annual Blogger’s Bash Awards voting is going on now! You can vote for #ThePhilFactor for Funniest Blog by clicking HERE! You don’t even have to be a blogger. Anyone can vote! Have a great Wednesday! ~Phil

How An April Fool’s Joke Led To a Stalker and Being Published

The year was 2006. #ThePhilFactor was about a year old. I had a small but loyal following. I thought up the prank about two weeks before April Fool’s Day and set it in motion. I first wrote a small post about my response to a fictional overly amorous woman who had gone outside of blog comments and emailed me directly. The prank was that my readers didn’t know the woman was a fictional character.

Over the next two weeks I wrote three or more posts where I asked the woman to stop messaging me through Twitter and email. My readers implored me to ignore her rather than to feed her ego with my public response. Some even suggested that law enforcement might be needed. I openly blogged about stopping The Phil Factor to end the harassment.

Finally, on April Fool’s Day, I revealed that it was all a ruse. Only one of my readers figured it out and had messaged me the day before.

In 2013 my then editor, Cynthia Shepp  and Renee Folsom, who created the covers for The Sneaker Tree and 50 Shades of Phil for me, had posted on Facebook that they were looking for writers to submit short stories, up to 10,000 words, related to the theme of stalkers. I remembered my old prank and wrote it as a story as if the reader was reading my blog posts (with some of the real comments), e-mails and Twitter messages with the stalker. For the story I added a bit of a wicked twist at the finish.

The book, pictured above, includes 17 stories from a bunch of great writers and I am proud that my store was chosen as the closer. Neither myself or any of the writers get a dime from sale of the books, but it was an opportunity for us to get some exposure. It’s gotten great ratings and reviews on Amazon. If you like suspense stories and are looking for a new favorite author, this might be the collection for you. You can find it in paperback or Kindle version HERE on Amazon.

Happy Easter/Passover/April Fool’s Day! ~Phil

Blogger Award Nominations Close Tomorrow: Do I Get A Nomination?

Do I get a nomination for Funniest Blogger? Well, that’s up to you. I can’t nominate myself. The Annual Bloggers Bash Award Nominations are now open! Click HERE to find out how you can nominate me for Funniest Blogger and others for all the other great blogger categories.

Why should you nominate me for Funniest Blogger? In addition to this list of hilarious posts I published last week, I present to you the funniest top ten lists from #ThePhilFactor:

Ten Blogging Pet Peeves

Ten Reasons I won’t Date Taylor Swift

Ten Signs Your Wife is Cheating with an Amish Guy

Top Ten Perks of Being The Pope

Top Ten Reasons I’m Not Spiderman

Ten Situations That Should Be Solved By a Rap Battle

Ten Sexy Quotes From Yelp Restaurant Reviews

If you like my blog and have a minute or two, click HERE to go to the page where you can nominate me for Funniest Blogger. The nominating window closes at midnight tomorrow. If you do, thank you so much. I really appreciate your support. Have a great evening! ~Phil

Blogger Stereotypes: Are You One?

Blogging, for those who can’t find enough friends to complain to on Facebook! Let’s face it, we’re bloggers. We blog. We’re part of what larger society regards as a bunch of odd balls. I suppose it’s possible that some of us are odd balls, loners in their mom’s basement, or crazy people. (yes, I’m looking at you) But then, there’s the rest of us. I’ve blogged long enough to see that although we’re all bloggers, there are sub-groups among us. Stereotypes, if you will. Are you one of them?

The “Humor” Blogger: I figured that if I’m going to offend some of my blogging friends, I might as well start with myself: There’s lots of humor bloggers and none of us are ever as funny as we think we are. I know that when I, and my fellow humor bloggers, have penned a sarcastic masterpiece of social commentary and with an exaggerated  flourish and the sound of angels in our heads, triumphantly hit Publish, we sit back with a satisfied smile waiting for our readers to fawn upon our comedic genius in the comments. What really happens is: check stats, sigh, refresh, ugh, still only ten views? “What is wrong with people? This is hilarious! I shared to Facebook, but it’s been an hour. It’s way down peoples feeds. I’d better post it again. I know they don’t want to miss my Saturday post.

The ‘I’m Writing a Book‘ Blogger: Occasionally I may fall into this category too, but others don’t just fall into this category, they burst right out of it. Repeatedly. What’s that? You’re a blogger and you’re writing a book? I’ve never heard of such a thing! Could you please mention it on your blog, daily, so we never forget? And please, by all means, tweet about it too. What’s that? It’s your first novel and you’re on the twenty-seventh revision so you can get it just right before sending to a publisher. Please tell us more!

The Music Blogger: Yes, we get that you know more music than us and all of your friends. No, we don’t want to hear the ‘B side’ of Vanilla Ice’s little known folk rock album released just last year.

The Blogging Expert Blogger: What? You have ten thousand followers? Yes, please write another post about Search Engine Optimization so I get more views on my blog. And by all means, make it a list of 99 Ways To…

The Fashion Blogger: Pictures of new clothes you’re buying? I can’t get enough! You’re so chic and your lifestyle is so glamorous! What?!!? You have an Instagram with millions more pictures of you in clothes? Be still my beating heart! Why aren’t there guy fashion blogs?

The Mommy Blogger: You have kids and they’re funny and you write stories about their adorable antics? How unique! You should write a book! And please add in how you’re trying to lose the baby weight and tell us about your workout routine!

Well, which stereotype are you? Are there stereotypes I missed? Put your suggestions in the comments and have a great Saturday! ~Phil

Bad Blogs on Broadway

When Al Gore invented the internet he had no idea most of it would be wasted by bloggers. Allowing just anyone to blog without a screening process is like letting ‘The People of Walmart’ walk around with a p.a, system all the time. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should. It’s gotten so bad that even Fox News has a blog.

Bloggers have no idea what the rest of us think of them. In conversation if you ask someone what they do and they respond with, “I’m a school teacher and a blogger,” how do you react? Most of us roll our eyes and sigh, hopefully not too noticeably because we don’t want to upset the “blogger.” You know how volatile they can be. They might run off and write a scathing post about us that would be read by all of their friend. The one thing that we don’t do when someone tells us they’re a blogger is to say, “What’s your blog about?” In fact I’m fairly certain that last sentence was the first time in history that those words have actually been assembled into a sentence. 

I imagine that at internet headquarters the people in charge are getting pissed. I picture a bunch a poindexter brainiacs in a room looking at a white board with a pie chart titled “Internet” that shows the internet contains 10% legitimate websites, 40% pornography/dating sites, and 50% blogs. Next to that would be another pie chart titled “Blogs with redeeming social value.” That chart is just a big empty circle. 

Blogging is so 2005 isn’t it? There was a time when it was kind of cool to have a blog. Ok, maybe there wasn’t, but now that virtually every person in the public eye has a website masquerading as a “blog” that you can comment on it is so not cool. You know what is cool is the Harlem Shake. Nope, definitely not. As soon as someone in my demographic knows what something is, like blogging or the Harlem Shake, then that thing has lost whatever cache it might have had. Seriously, I just nailed down Gangnam Style and now I have to learn the Harlem Shake?  I think the definitive way to tell if some pop culture trend is past it’s cool peak is that if someone with a blog describes it as cool. 

What is hot now is Vlogging. Video Blogging! Instead of writing words you read, all of us arrogant dolts who think you want to know our thoughts are now on Youtube in front of our webcam telling you what we think. I know, that’s pretty hot right? I guess Tosh.0 has to get his material somewhere. 

I just wrote a sarcastic blog about blogging. Does that make me an ironic hipster? I’m not sure, but if I just said ironic hipster then it is definitely not cool to be one. I’ll make a deal with you. If at least 10 of you go back to your Facebook page and click the “Share” link under this I promise I won’t ever do a Vlog. This is a birthday present to my big brother Steve whose birthday was yesterday and he asked me to write a sarcastic blog about bloggers.