Category Archives: Top Ten

The Ten Best Christmas Movies: Let The Debate Begin

Every holiday season I post this list and it evolves based on readers suggestions and new movies that come out. If you have favorites that didn’t make the list please add them in the comments section and maybe you’ll influence next years list.

10. Christmas Vacation (1989) Added to the list this year by popular demand in response to last years Top Ten is Christmas Vacation, which knocked The Nightmare Before Christmas off the list. What do you think? Should a different movie have been taken off the list? Christmas Vacation fun fact: The assistant director of Christmas Vacation is the grandson of the director of It’s a Wonderful Life.

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9. Scrooged: (1988) A modern re-telling of the Charles Dickens classic starring Bill Murray. I think that even Dickens would agree that this is way better than the original.

8. The Family Man (2000) Starring Nicholas Cage and Tea Leoni. Most people don’t think much of Nicholas Cage, but in this movie he nails the role of an investment banker, who through a Christmas miracle, is shown the path not taken in his life. I like this one so much that it knocked Die Hard off the list. If you haven’t seen it, go watch it and come back here and tell me what you think.

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7. The Santa Clause: This 2004 movie starring Tim Allen screamed instant classic the first time I saw it. Also, any movie that includes Judge Reinhold is a must watch.

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6. Love Actually: (2003) This is the best Christmas movie there is about stodgy British people trying to get it on, but it’s a favorite with the ladies, so it made the list. Around the holidays the ladies get what the ladies want.

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5. The Polar Express: (2004) Tom Hanks is a better actor as cartoon character.

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4. Elf: (2003) Starring Will Farrell, this is the most quotable of all holiday movies. “I just like to smile. Smiling’s my favorite.” or “Buddy the Elf. What’s your favorite color?” What’s your favorite Elf quote? Put it in the comments

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3. Miracle on 34th Street: (1947) I’ve never watched the color version and I don’t plan to. I’ve loved this one since I was a kid, especially the brilliant court scene when Santa’s lawyer wins by having the postmen deliver the letters to Santa. That was the last time the post office delivered anything on time for the holidays. Also, has anyone else noticed that the entire movie is about the lawyer guy trying to get with the little girls single mom?

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2. A Christmas Story: (1983) It is right and just that TBS plays this movie for 24 hours straight every year.

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1. It’s a Wonderful Life: (1946) Yes, I’m an old sentimental fool. I still love it every time when Mary is hidden in the bush and has lost her robe and George says, “Now this is a very interesting situation.” Who doesn’t wonder where the movie might have gone had his friends not pulled up in the car at that moment. Bow bow chicka chicka… Also it’s pretty cool to me that the town of Bedford Falls is based on a small town in upstate New York that I drive through all the time.

Ok, that’s my list. What do you disagree with? What movies would you put on the list?  And don’t forget those Elf quotes! Have a great Sunday! ~Phil

Ten Reasons to Love The Holidays

This isn’t my house, but I wish it was.

On Saturday I posted my Ten Reasons to Hate The Holidays. If you haven’t read that, then you need to. It’s a prerequisite. Now I’m providing this as proof that I’m not some Ebenezer Scrooge or Grinch.

10. Ridiculous Holiday Light Displays: That’s not my house above, but I wish it was. I love people that take the decorating and lights waaaay too far. I wish we could do it all year long. If there’s a neighborhood that decorates all year long, let me know. I’ll move there.

9. Getting presents: Well duh! Free stuff that we didn’t know we needed or wanted? Yes please! Notice that the presents are only 9th on my list? That’s because I’m not superficial and materialistic.

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8. Nutcrackers: I buy my nuts pre-cracked but I love these guys anyway for no good reason.  As much as I love them I’d also love Stephen King, or maybe me, to write a Christmas horror story where nutcrackers come to life and terrorize people like Chuckie. Imagine how creepy they’d be if you added sharp teeth! (Yes, that herd of nutcrackers is at my house staring at me right now)

7. Holiday Movies: Check back here next Tuesday for my list of the ten best holiday movies.

6. Time off from work: Let’s be honest, how many of us love our job so much that we’d do it even if we didn’t get paid? Bueller? Bueller? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’m taking the week off between Christmas and New Years. Don’t worry, I’ll still keep blogging because I’d do that even if they didn’t pay me.

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5. Holiday Specials: Come back in two weeks for my top ten holiday specials. The Grinch is a total badass but he’s not number 1 on that list.

4. Awkward Family Holiday PhotosI don’t care if they’re real or fake, they’re funny. I hope someday to create my own that becomes a meme on the internet.

3. Sometimes jerks try a little harder not to be: Including me. I don’t think I’m a jerk, but it’s nice that me and most other people try a little harder to be cordial, except online when we make snarky remarks at people that leave comments..

2. My holiday tie collection: Yes, this is one you should love too. This year I own enough holiday themed ties that I can wear a different one every work day from Thanksgiving until Christmas. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you’ve probably seen them.

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1. _________________________

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Number 1 is left blank for you. What is it that you love about the holidays above all else? Put it in the comments what you love most about Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, or New Years Eve. Have a great Tuesday!~Phil

Ten Ways People Ruin Halloween

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. If I wasn’t a full grown adult I’d dress up and go Trick or Treating. I do have some pet peeves though about people who don’t share my love of this holiday.

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10. “Fun Size” candy: There is nothing fun about a candy bar so small that it wouldn’t give a sugar rush to a hummingbird. For cripes sake! It’s once a year, you can splurge for the full size.

9. Turning Out Your Lights: Are you the house that turns out your lights and hides in a back room pretending you’re not home? We hate you and you deserve to have your house egged.

8. Making it about religion: Lighten up Francis! (If you know what movie that quote came from put your answer in the comments) The kids aren’t worshiping Satan, they’re worshiping a sugar buzz. Once someone in my neighborhood was handing out popcorn balls with religious notes attached to them. If I knew who it was I’d have called the police.

This isn’t me, but I wish it was

7. Handing out popcorn balls or apples or pencils or McDonald’s coupons. When I was a kid we were told never to take the apples because there might be a razor blade in them. Now the health food nuts are giving them out like candy.

6. Not having Halloween in your neighborhood: I hate when groups of parents decide they’ll have a neighborhood party or that the kids will trick or treat at the local shopping mall. Geez! How did these people grow up and at what age did the demon suck out their souls? Theirs are the kids who will rebel later and get arrested for egging houses or putting flaming bags of poop on someone’s front porch.

5. Not allowing re-visits: If a kid has the endurance and initiative to make a second lap around the neighborhood, more power to them! They’re getting exercise. If they have a different costume second time around I give bonus candy.

This is me on my way to work two weeks from now

4. Adults who don’t dress up: If you don’t wear something Halloweeny to work or refuse to answer your door for the kids tonight then just click out of this page, close your browser and don’t ever come back.

3. Women who think men don’t respect the sexy Halloween costumes: Memo to ladies: Men hate cutesy couples costumes. Let us be Batman or an Army guy and you can be the Sexy Nurse, Sexy Zombie, Sexy Football Player, Slutty Pumpkin. (Btw, if you get the Slutty Pumpkin reference put it in the comments) Whatever. We don’t care. Just dress up and let your inner sexy self out.

2. People who don’t decorate their house: I want to start a neighborhood where over the top Halloween decorating is mandatory. If you don’t, you have to move out immediately or the rest of the neighbors will egg and toilet paper your house every day until next Halloween.

1. The fixed Oct. 31st date: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I’m going to pass a law mandating that Halloween will occur on the last Saturday of September regardless of the date. In September so there’s better weather for the kids to go out and on the last Saturday so we can all have parties, the kids can stay up late and we can all relax, sleep in and take down our decorations the next day.

As always if you enjoy #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share. Have a great Sunday!~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! 10 Things I Won’t Eat

Are you wondering how the title goes with that picture of a guinea pig? Read on! I’ve eaten some weird things in my life, but there are some things I just won’t touch. If I were to go on a reality show like Survivor or Naked and Afraid, I’d be fine with eating bugs and snakes. This may be tempting fate, but here are ten things I will never eat intentionally.

10. Mustard: I believe that this is a substance spawned in the bowels of hell. I put only ketchup on my hot dogs. I can throw up right now if I just think about mustard long enough. Moving on…

9. Onions: I’d rather eat broken glass. I can tolerate some onion powder in a dish, I’m OK with the flavor, but not the texture of onions in my mouth.

8. Other humans: Like I said, I may be tempting fate here, but cannibalism just seems to be in bad taste. Of course if my plane goes down in the Andes mountains and we run out of peanuts… As an aside, I was once told by a family historian that a couple hundred years ago some of my ancestors may have partaken in human flesh. They were in Canada and it was a tough winter. Surely, that’s understandable, right?

7. Brains: Not human of course. In many countries it’s not unusual to eat animal brains. The brain reportedly is the most nutritionally dense part of any animal. It just seems wrong. What if in some comic book type plot I suddenly starting thinking like and talking like the animal whose brain I ate? I’d probably fail as a zombie.

6. Seahorses: They’re served fried on a stick in China. I think they’re cute and have a look of intelligence. I hate eating cute animals.

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5. Guinea pig: Here’s the reason for the picture at the top of this article. Often eaten in South American countries. Umm…no thanks. I find them ugly when they’re alive. Why would I put them in my mouth?  Did you know that if you pick them up by their tail their eyes will pop out?

4. Kiviak: This one makes we want to puke just thinking about it. Kiviak is a traditional Inuit (Eskimo) food from Greenland. They take a seal, dead I hope, and stuff it with 500 birds, also dead I hope, and then bury it under the ground to ferment for months. It is said to help the Inuits combat vitamin deficiencies in their diet. Haven’t the Inuits ever heard of taking actual vitamins? Someone get them a wi-fi signal! (I was going to put a picture in for this one, but all the pictures of it were very off putting in the morning.

3. Deviled eggs: I eat hard boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, fried eggs and most any other kind of eggs. Won’t touch a deviled egg. It just looks wrong. Ugh, and adding the paprika on top makes it look wronger.

2. Smalahove: It’s sheeps head. They eat it in Norway. I’ll eat just about any animal, but at least take the face off first.

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1. Pickles: Of all the things on this list this is the one I would choose last if forced to. If I’m on a reality show and the challenge is to eat a pickle with mustard I bow out immediately no matter how much money is on the line. It’s the sour, awful vinegar. I can’t get past the smell. I held a pickle once but couldn’t bring myself to eat it.

So what foods are your kryptonite and why?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

The Top Ten Best Sitcom Thanksgiving Episodes

Don’t we all love the holiday episodes of our favorite shows? If you’re not into football, then dial up Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime TV on Thursday and watch these ten laugh out loud episodes from the past that will entertain you all day long.  I’ve only included ones that I’ve seen, so if you can think of some others, say so in the comments! I apologize to my international readers that this list is American centric. If you can think of your favorite holiday episodes from your country, please put them in the comments so we can discover new shows!

10. Cheers: Thanksgiving Orphans, Season 5, episode 9.

Everyone’s plans coincidentally fall through, as they only can on a sit-comand Carla hosts dinner for the gang. It ends in an epic food fight where we nearly get to see Norm’s wife, Vera. Find it on Amazon, Netflix and Hulu

9. The Office, WUPHF.com, season 7, episode 9.

Dwight hosts a fall festival in the parking lot so he can crown himself Hay King while Ryan tries to sell the office on his uber-connectivity app WUPHF.com. Find it on Netflix.

8. New Girl, season 4 episode 9, Bangsgiving

This episode features the gang staying home for Thanksgiving in their L.A. loft. As fate would have it, they all happen to be single at the time, so they set up a Secret Santa sort of arrangement where they draw names from a hat and they have to invite a Bangsgiving date for the person they picked. Hijinks ensue. Find it on Peacock.

7. South Park, season 4 episode 13, Hellen Keller! The Musical

I think that the title, Hellen Keller! The Musical says all you need to know about this. Find it on HBOMax.

6. That 70’s Show, season 1, episode 9, Thanksgiving

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Eric gets hit on by his sister’s slutty friend and Donna is not happy about it. Eric’s mom Kitty is stressed about Red’s mom coming to dinner and they both forget to pick her up. Find it on Amazon Prime Video

5. Seinfeld, season 6, episode 8, The Mom and Pop store

Elaine helps her boss, Mr. Pitt, win a contest to pilot the Woody Woodpecker balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. His joy is short lived when Jerry drops an Empire State Building statue out of Tim Whatley’s window and punctures the Woody Woodpecker balloon. In this episode Jerry walks around in a new pair of slippery cowboy boots and George buys a LeBaron convertible that he believes belonged to actor Jon Voight. Find it on Netflix.

4. WKRP in Cincinnati, season 1 episode 7, Turkeys Away

Yes, this is definitely an oldie, but it’s definitely one of the funniest Thanksgiving episodes of any show I’ve ever seen. If you don’t know the WKRP in Cincinnati series, it’s definitely worth a watch, and this episode is laugh out loud funny. Find it on AppleTV and Amazon Prime.

3. Roseanne, season 4 episode 10, We Gather Together

The Connors always knew how to make great holiday episodes. Their Halloween episodes are legendary and their Thanksgivings aren’t far behind. Find it on Amazon Prime Video.

2. How I Met Your Mother, season 3 episode 9, Slapsgiving

Due to a bet from a previous season, Marshall won the right to slap Barney 5 times over the rest of their lifetimes. He decides that Thanksgiving, aka Slapsgiving, is just the right day after building the suspense for weeks. At the end actor Jason Segal plays the piano and sings a song about the slap.

1. Friends, The One with All the Thanksgivings, Season 5, Episode 8

This episode of course has Monica with the turkey on her head, but it’s also got a bunch of fun flashbacks from the gangs Thanksgivings as well as their distant past. Find it on Netflix.

That’s my Top Ten. If you’ve got some favorite Thanksgiving episodes from other shows, please put them in the comments ! I hope you’re having a great weekend! ~Phil

The Top Ten Ways to Tell if You Are A Boomer

I don’t think being a certain age means that you’re a “boomer”. My impression is that boomers are the Karens of people over 50. (Although, I think every Karen no matter what age is a Boomer) Being a boomer isn’t a specific age though, it’s more a state of mind.  There are still cool people over 50, and there are 40 year olds that act like Boomers.  Here are the top ten ways to know if you are a Boomer:

10. If you’re not worried that you might be a boomer, you’re either getting your student loans forgiven, or you’re already too far gone. Boomers are blissfully unaware that their Brady Bunch quotes might not be relevant to their grandkids. C’mon, who remembers “pork chops and applesauce”? Am I right?

9. If you just googled “Boomers age range“, you might be a Boomer. (And happily, I’m still in the Gen X range.)

8. If someone calls you Karen, and you try to correct them with your real name, you might be a Boomer. 

7. If you still buy batteries for your Jitterbug flip phone, you might be a Boomer. 

6. If you watch 60 Minutes on both the clock and the tv, you are definitely a Boomer.  

5. If you’re wearing Skechers right now: If it’s too much work to bend over and tie your shoes, you might be a Boomer.

4. If you use a three foot long shoe horn to put your Skechers on, you might be a boomer. To be honest, if you use any kind of shoe horn, you are totally a Boomer.

3. If you still have the same blog that you started in 2005 instead of a TikTok, you might be a Boomer. (present company excluded of course)

2. If you’ve never had tendonitis from playing video games, you might be a Boomer. 

1.  If you ever start any sentence with the words “In my day…” you are definitely a boomer. Also, if you are insulted by any of these, you are….

Hopefully whether you’re a boomer or not, you found some humor in this. If you didn’t, then you might be a Karen/Boomer! If you’ve got other Boomer jokes feel free to add them in the comments.

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Copyright 2022 ThePhilFactor.com

The Top Ten Scariest Movies of All Time

The Hocus Pocus 2 (<== click for trailer) movie came out last week and women everywhere ran straight to their TV’s. Is Hocus Pocus 1 or 2 on this list? Of course not. They’re not scary, just scary bad!

Feeling in the mood for some Halloween scares? Check out the movies on this list, created from a painstaking culling of countless online lists of scary movies. These are the ten that appeared most often on most of the lists. I posted this list last year and it resulted in a lot of suggestions for other great scary movies. Feel free to add your two cents in the comments.

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10. Psycho (1960) Believe it or not, this one almost didn’t make the list. This is a classic that has spawned countless imitations.

9. It (2017) The Stephen King classic was brought back about a month ago and it is seriously creepy. There were at least five times during the movie when I got goosebumps because it was so creepy and suspenseful. Watching this will not help your clown fear at all.

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8. Halloween (1978) Although Mike Myers later went on to bigger fame and fortune on Saturday Night Live and Wayne’s World, this movie has stood the test of time.

7. The Omen (1976) I never saw this, but if it’s got Gregory Peck it must be good. I hope it has Boo Radley too.

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6. The Exorcist (1973) Talk about an ugly duckling! She later went on to become Miss Nevada. First time I saw this I was completely freaked out. me and my friends didn’t sleep all night. At the time I was also sure that a film like this would never be allowed in Canada.

5. Rosemary’s Baby (1968) I’m sure this was terrifying for all the old timey folks in 1968. Ironically, Mia Farrow played Rosemary, a woman impregnated by Satan. Many years later the baby she adopted with Woody Allen would later marry Woody Allen. I’m starting to think that Mia isn’t a very good mother.

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4. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) I started this series with Part 3 but went back and watched them all. I find a villian who can get you in your dreams to be the scariest of all. Sadly, some idiots made a remake of this in 2010. Did anyone see that? Me neither.

3. The Shining (1980) A cool classic. Nobody plays crazy quite like Jack Nicholson.

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2. 28 Days Later (2002) A zombie movie from 2002 before zombies were cool. I haven’t seen this one, but it showed up so regularly in my research I want to see it now.

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1. Alien (1979) This one surprised me by being on almost every list. The suspense is painful and who can forget the tag line “In space no one can hear you scream.”

So what’s your favorite scary movie? Do you like being scared? What’s scarier, the books or the movies? What would you add to this list?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

The Top Ten Best 80’s Movies

I was in a nostalgic mood this past weekend and watched some 80’s movies. Then I decided to create this list to see what others had to say about the movies of the best decade ever. If you agree or disagree, I’d love to hear in the comments what movies you’d add or take away from my list.

10. Raiders of the Last Ark, 1981. Starring Harrison Ford. Best line:Snakes! Why’d it have to be snakes?” Who else feels this way?

9. The Breakfast Club, 1985. Starring Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, and Ally Sheedy. Best line: Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?”  –John Bender to Richard Vernon

8. The Princess Bride 1987: Starring: Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Andre the Giant, Fred Savage, Wallace Shawn, Chris Sarandon, and Mandy Patinkin. Best Line: Have fun stormin’ da castle!” A great cameo by Billy Crystal

7. The ‘Burbs 1989: starring Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman, Bruce Dern, and Rick Ducommon. Best line: Ray, there’s no doubt anymore…This is real. Your neighbors are murdering people…They’re burying them in their backyard. Ray… this is Walter.” This is from the funniest scene in the movie.

6. Beetlejuice 1988: Starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis and Alec Baldwin. Best line: “I’ve seen the Exorcist 167 times and it keeps getting funnier everytime I see it.”  I was traumatized by the Exorcist.

5. Top Gun 1986 Starring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Anthony Edwards, and Val Kilmer. Best line: “You’re not going to be happy unless you’re going Mach 2 with your hair on fire.”  You and me both Maverick.

4. Batman 1989 Starring Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. Best line: Tell Me Something, My Friend, Have You Ever Danced With the Devil in the Pale Moonlight?”  In comparison with Adam Wests 1960’s Batman, this was a shock to the superhero movie genre.

3. Back to The Future 1985 Starring Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover. Best line: Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads!” I wanted to be Marty McFly.

2. Field of Dreams, 1989 Starring Kevin Costner , James Earl Jones, Amy Madigan, and Ray Liotta. Best line: “Ty Cobb wanted to play…but none of us could stand the son-of-a-bitch when we were alive, so we told him to stick it!” It would have been too easy to go with “If you build it…”

1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, 1986 Starring Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jennifer Grey. Best line: It’s not that I support fascism or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Not bad, but then again he was the walrus.” As adults, don’t we still imagine skipping work and having a day like this?

There you go, MY top ten 80’s movies. If you could expand the list by adding your favs, what would some of them be?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Questions We All Should Ask Ourselves

The genesis for this post was that last night I sat down wanting to write a new post but only wanted to spend 45 minutes doing so because there’s television to watch. In general people like top ten lists. So many of mine continue to rack up views years after I wrote them. So this is what comes out of my head with no planning or editing whatsoever. 45 minute timer…GO!

10. Am I kind enough to other people? If you’re not being kind to others, wtf is your problem? 99.9% of all humanity has never done anything wrong to you, so why be a dick? Don’t honk your horn the second the light turns green.

9. Should I still be wearing this haircut? Probably not. Unless you’re a good looking bald guy, and no, Vin Diesel doesn’t qualify. Your haircut is definitely not doing you any favors. I should know. I’ve had the same one for about a dozen years and it’s probably out of style, but I have no idea what to do next.

8. Should I really tell my spouse my real opinion on so many things? No, you definitely shouldn’t. Some of those opinions might hurt feelings, and you definitely don’t want to hear from them what they think of the flaws you don’t realize that you have.

7. Am I spending too much time on social media? I don’t know the answer to that. Some of us yes, and some of us no. But if the world is going to a more remote way of engaging with others, shouldn’t we stay current so we can stay in touch?

6.  Should I leave my money in my 401k, or pull it out before the entire economy collapses? I really don’t want to give anyone an opinion on this one, but aren’t we all thinking it? Talk to a financial adviser who isn’t managing your money or volunteering to manage your money.

5. Why is Amazon increasing their subscription service by $20 if we’re not getting anything added to the service? Jeff Bezos, you’re up. Can you answer that Mr. Billionaire? If you want loyal customers, give us a break. You and your company are profiting by billions a year and when inflation is killing the common man you decide to try to squeeze more out of us? F U

4. Shouldn’t I say something funny after all the serious questions? Yes, we all should. Never in the history of mankind have so many had so much stress. We all need to lighten up and laugh more often. I don’t know if this is funny, but if we’re playing the six degrees of separation, I may be the only person in the world through whom you can connect deceased dictator Fidel Castro and the lead singer of Tommy Tutone (867-5309)

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WTdTwcmxyo

3. Am I in the right line of work? Probably not. Unless you wake up excited for another day at your job, then you should probably find yourself a new job. Life is too short for us not to enjoy a third of it. Find what you love and find a way to make money from it. If you like it, chances are other people do too and they’ll pay for you to do it, whatever it is. After that Tommy Tutone video I feel that this video for is perfect for that last thought:

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsgBpsNPQ50

13 minutes left…

2. How do I stop worrying about all these things: You know what? There’s probably no fool-proof way to forget your worries. Sometimes there’s even good reasons to worry about things. There’s so much wisdom on this topic in the public arena that I can’t purport to bring anything new. Enjoy the little things in life. Focus on the positive when you can and accept that life isn’t going to be perfect. Not even for effing Jeff Bezos. (Can you tell that I’m really kind of ticked about that $20 more for Amazon)

1. What’s Your One Thing? In an old movie with Billy Crystal, City Slickers, an old cowhand gave some great advice. Just find that one thing big or small that makes you happy. You’re never going to be happy all the time, but if you know your one thing, maybe you’ll be happy some of the time.

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4CvFWCULuI

Ok, that’s it. It took me 47 minutes to write that, including adding pictures and spell checking. Not bad for my brain. I hope you enjoyed it. If you were to add a question to this list, what would it be?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

The Top Ten 2022 Banished Phrases

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I am so sick of hearing that phrase!”?  Sometimes it’s an acronym at work. Other times it’s a pop culture phenomenon. And often it’s a word or phrase that someone from another generation (younger) seems to say all the time that makes no sense to you.

Lake Superior State University, is located in Michigan’s upper peninsula, which should really be part of Wisconsin. Each year they publish a list of the top ten words that people would like to see banished. That’s exactly the kind of hard hitting research you’ll find at a “state school.” I should know, because I went to one. Harvard is busy curing cancer, but Lake Superior State University is spending public money making lists of silly phrases. They are definitely my kind of people.

I’ll give you the list with my comments and I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.

10. Supply chain: 90% of us didn’t know what a supply chain was before 2021. Now it’s my favorite phrase to get out of work. “I’m sorry boss, I can’t make it to work today. Supply chain issues.” Supply chain gets me out of more things than Covid. “I apologize your honor, but I can’t be on this jury all week. Supply chain issues.” or “Not tonight honey. I’ve got supply chain issues.” (Ladies, feel free to use that last one)

9. You’re on mute: I hear this one a lot when I’m pretending to have technical difficulties to get out of being on a two hour Zoom meeting. Also my wife is fond of saying, “Sorry honey. I can’t hear you. You’re on mute.” She says that when she’s sitting right next to me. A lot.

8. New Normal: Anybody that’s using this phrase is just giving up on life. Saying that something is the new normal is like saying, “I give up. This sucks but I can’t change anything.” I don’t think we should avoid the phrase. I think that anyone who says it should immediately be prescribed an anti-depressant and sentenced to ten weeks of therapy.

7. Deep Dive: Admittedly, I’ve used this one in work situations more than once. Yes, I know it’s overused, but what else can we say that means the same and is just as cool? In-depth look? Nah. That phrase bores me. I fell asleep typing it. Thorough investigation? That only sounds good with a British accent and I can never pull that off. (Now you’re imagining that phrase in a British accent aren’t you? See what I mean?”)

6. Circle back: Of course this one came from a state school. When I was in college and we we’re at a bar near campus that was basically circular, we’d check out the talent by walking a lap around the bar. If you couldn’t find someone to your liking, you say to your friends, “Nope. Nothing yet. I’m going to circle back in a half hour or so.” Now my generation uses it in Zoom meetings to say, “Yeah, no. That’s not gonna happen.”

5. Asking for a friend: Never in the history of the world has anyone ever believed this lie. People on Twitter wore this phrase out six years ago.

4. That being said… This is a way to pretend you agree but you’re really disagreeing. It sounds a little pretentious to me. Enough so that if you’re on a Zoom call, pretend you don’t hear the person and repeatedly say, “You’re on mute. I can’t hear you.” Give it about minute or two before you acknowledge them again.

3. At the end of the day… This is a way to act smart and pretend that you’re saying something obvious. It’s also a great way to get people thinking of 5:00 and having a drink as soon as “this blowhard on my work conference call shuts the hell up.” People who say ‘At the end of the day’ are the people that overtalk in every conference call be cause they want to impress the higher ups.

2. No worries! People that say this are obviously worriers trying to overcompensate by using this linguistic pacifier. If someone says this to you, immediate worrying is called for. They’re like the character in a suspense film who says, “Don’t worry. We got this,” right before all hell breaks loose.

1. Wait, what? In other words, “Are you effing kidding me?” It’s a cute way to express disbelief, as in “Are you serious? Did you just say that?” This is always the prelude to a good conflict and if you’re lucky, fisticuffs.

Now there’s a word we should pump up in 2022. Fisticuffs! In the comments, what are the words and phrases you found most tiresome in 2021?

Have a great Tuesday!  ~Phil