Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

On To The Main Events!

Posted on November 24, 2023 | 4 comments

In the States Thanksgiving is just a speed bump we have to get past before we can really dig into Christmas and Hannukah. What do other countries do in November? Do you start decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween/Day of the Dead/ Samhain etc.?

This year some psychopaths got together and created a Thanksgiving horror movie. For cripes sake, is anything sacred? Not that I’m the biggest Thanksgiving fan, but really, how unoriginal was this idea? Haven’t we  seen this one before:

Oh no, holiday get together goes wrong. There’s an ominous, crazy, murderous person dressed up in a grotesque caricature costume of the holiday, picking off victims one by one, often in a different and horrible way each time. Eventually after everyone except one have been picked off, that lone gutty survivor manages to kill the perpetrator. Until the next sequel.  Sound familiar?

This is what happens when the writers go on strike. We get unoriginal regurgitated versions of things we’ve seen before. If you know a Hollywood movie/TV show writer, give them a hug and a cup of coffee.

So today is “Black Friday”. Fortunately, the old style Black Friday where you’d have to sleep out on a store’s doorstep to get a chance to buy a creepy animatronic doll is gone thanks to Amazon.

I love my Amazon, but it’s getting creepy how big it’s become and how much of our lives are dictated by Amazon. They started with just books, and I loved them back then. Now they manage a significant percentage of online data storage for corporations. They send rockets into space and a significant portion of what we watch on our phones and telephones are dictated by them. And today, Amazon will be raking in billions of our dollars just because they’re convenient.  They know more about us than the government, unless we didn’t read the permissions on some 40 page long contract we signed that allows them to sell our data to our government.

That last idea was kind of a bummer huh? My original intent was just to see if everyone else feels like I do about Thanksgiving being a speed bump on the way to Christmas/Hannukah. The rest of this was just some random thoughts. Feel free to comment on any or all of it. I hope you have a great Friday, if Amazon let’s us…

Also I’m seriously thinking that I should really run for President. There is no one out there I trust and want to vote for.

(See? I don’t always write inane fluff pieces!)

Thanks for reading! ~Phil

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Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

Posted on November 24, 2021 | Leave a comment

Thanksgiving! It’s that holiday where we are supposed to appreciate family and ponder our thankfulness about stuff. Yes, that’s right, stuff. I know it and you know it; we all say the same damn thing every year at the dinner table when it’s our turn to say what we’re thankful for. And those things are good, valid things like having family together and having a roof over our heads. But who has a good laugh over those things? Am I right?

I propose that we start a new tradition. How about if we talk about the fun, ridiculous things that we’re thankful for? The world is far too serious on a daily basis lately. Let’s lighten up. It’s the holidays and we need to smile. How about I start first? I’ll tell you what some of the unusual things I’m thankful are, and then, if you’ve read this far, in the comments put one unusual thing you are thankful for.

The Internet: I’m thankful for the internet. Without it, I wouldn’t be writing words that people all over the world read. Growing up I had to make jokes and say things to people in person. Now, according to my blog stats, someone in Nepal can (and did) look up the Top Ten Amish Sex Positions anytime they want and I don’t have to walk all the way over to Nepal to make those jokes. That’s the beauty of the internet. Go on, click that link. You know you want to. (And it is sooo worth it)

Cable television and streaming services: Yes, maybe I’m forty years late on expressing gratitude for cable television, but it’s about time somebody did. When I was a kid, before cable television, there were four “over the air” television stations. Four!!! And one of them was PBS for cripes sake! Seriously, is PBS the weirdest channel? You watch it until you’re about four years old and then you outgrow the kid shows and then don’t tune in again until you’re 70. It’s either Elmo or documentaries about World War I. And until cable television existed, those four channels went of the air at 2:00 a.m.!  The national anthem would play over a video of the flag and then it went to static until 6:00 a.m. Thank you technology Gods for inventing 24 hours a day television!

Keurig Coffee Makers: Yes, I know you coffee purists decry Keurig as garbage coffee. I know it’s not the best and it’s not the worst, but it is the fastest. I love my coffee and I love it even more when I can have it in twenty seconds. If the inventor of the Keurig Coffee maker ever dies, I would like to speak at his funeral. (Ironically, in THIS ARTICLE he later expressed regret for inventing it.)

There you go. Those are my top three unusual things that I’m thankful for. What about you? What’s one unconventional thing that you’re thankful for? Please add it in the comments.

Lastly, I hope you’re reading this through the internet with a cup of Keurig made coffee warming your hand. Whether you’re from the States or not, I’m thankful for you reading my blog. You’ve made my day and I hope you have a thankful day wherever you are. ~Phil

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Posted in Holidays, Humor, Thanksgiving

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Happy Thanksgiving from The Phil Factor

Posted on November 28, 2019 | 7 comments

Photo courtesy of Charles Schultz

In the United States it’s traditional to get together with family on Thanksgiving and share the important things you’re thankful for before gorging yourself on a meal centered on the large, dead carcass of the ugliest bird in North America. Every year everyone shares the usual platitudes about being thankful for family, friends and good heath. Duh! Who can’t come up with that? When I decided to write this I set out to write a positive, uplifting post so that my loyal readers don’t think that my every thought and written or spoken word are tinged with biting sarcasm. So without further adieu, here are some of the everyday things I am thankful for:

1. Girl Scout Cookies: Holy crap! Paradise in cookie form! Thin Mints, Do-Si-Dos, Tagalongs, Samoas, Dulce de Leche and many more. Most of the names are completely meaningless in relation to what the actual cookie is, but who the hell cares? I think the mysteriously weird names add to our desire for them. Great cookies, but the Girl Scouts organization is one of the dumbest businesses in existence. They have a product that is universally loved and they only sell it one month a year? Morons! All of them. Their stupid little badges certainly aren’t in business administration. If they sold those cookies year round they’d be a multi-billion dollar operation listed on the New York Stock Exchange. If they sold those cookies year round they could put crack cocaine out of business.

2. The Keurig Coffee Maker: I don’t give a rat’s ass if they price those stupid little “pods” at $5.00 each, it will be well worth it if I can keep getting my morning cup of joe in 30 seconds. My time is valuable and Keurig gave me back about 5 minutes of every morning where I don’t have to stand there staring a a gurgling coffee maker.

3. Screw cap wine bottles: How does it make the wine better if you have to use a separate device that looks like it was designed for medieval torture to open it? And how often have you had the cork break and you have to use all sorts of improvised techniques to get it out and then the wine still has a bunch cork pieces in it that you fish out with your fingers? My wine sources tell me the screw cap is coming back. Simpler is better. Leave the corks for the French snobs to wrestle with. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, all wine bottles will have screw caps.

4. Twitter: As you know, I love my Twitter. If anything big happens anywhere in the world it’s on Twitter instantly. If I need a laugh, give me one minute with my Twitter feed and one of the everyday comedic geniuses on Twitter will give me a smile. Want to know an opposing viewpoint? It’s there on Twitter.

5. Fantasy Football: Yes, it’s a corny little hobby and yes, it’s actually a form of gambling, but outside of my job, this is one of two things that I’ve spent a lot of my free time over the last twenty years. The other thing that the rest of my free time has been spent on? This blog.

All of You: Lastly I’m thankful for all of you, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers from all over the world. You make my day with your likes and comments. I know that over the past year I haven’t blogged much. I’ve had a lot of real life going on in my life, but I appreciate that many of you have popped in here or by email or twitter to say Hi. I plan on getting back to weekly blogging and visiting all of you wonderful friends that I’ve followed for years. Happy American Thanksgiving to you no matter where you’re reading this from. In the comments, if you’re in the bathroom hiding from family, why don’t you add something unusual that you’re thankful for today!

Have a great day! ~Phil

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Posted in Current Events, Humor, Uncategorized

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Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

Posted on November 22, 2018 | 20 comments

Photo courtesy of Charles Schultz

In the United States it’s traditional to get together with family on Thanksgiving and share the important things you’re thankful for before gorging yourself on a meal centered on the large, dead carcass of the ugliest bird in North America. Every year everyone shares the usual platitudes about being thankful for family, friends and good heath. Duh! Who can’t come up with that? When I decided to write this I set out to write a positive, uplifting post so that my loyal readers don’t think that my every thought and written or spoken word are tinged with biting sarcasm. So without further adieu, here are some of the everyday things I am thankful for:

1. Girl Scout Cookies: Holy crap! Paradise in cookie form! Thin Mints, Do-Si-Dos, Tagalongs, Samoas, Dulce de Leche and many more. Most of the names are completely meaningless in relation to what the actual cookie is, but who the hell cares? I think the mysteriously weird names add to our desire for them. Great cookies, but the Girl Scouts organization is one of the dumbest businesses in existence. They have a product that is universally loved and they only sell it one month a year? Morons! All of them. Their stupid little badges certainly aren’t in business administration. If they sold those cookies year round they’d be a multi-billion dollar operation listed on the New York Stock Exchange. If they sold those cookies year round they could put crack cocaine out of business.

2. The Keurig Coffee Maker: I don’t give a rat’s ass if they price those stupid little “pods” at $5.00 each, it will be well worth it if I can keep getting my morning cup of joe in 30 seconds. My time is valuable and Keurig gave me back about 5 minutes of every morning where I don’t have to stand there staring a a gurgling coffee maker.

3. Screw cap wine bottles: How does it make the wine better if you have to use a separate device that looks like it was designed for medieval torture to open it? And how often have you had the cork break and you have to use all sorts of improvised techniques to get it out and then the wine still has a bunch cork pieces in it that you fish out with your fingers? My wine sources tell me the screw cap is coming back. Simpler is better. Leave the corks for the French snobs to wrestle with. When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, all wine bottles will have screw caps.

4. Twitter: As you know, I love my Twitter. If anything big happens anywhere in the world it’s on Twitter instantly. If I need a laugh, give me one minute with my Twitter feed and one of the everyday comedic geniuses on Twitter will give me a smile. Want to know an opposing viewpoint? It’s there on Twitter.

All of You: Lastly I’m thankful for all of you, friends, family, co-workers, and strangers from all over the world. You make my day with your likes and comments. Happy American Thanksgiving to you no matter where you’re reading this from. In the comments, if you’re in the bathroom hiding from family, why don’t you add something unusual that you’re thankful for today!

Have a great day! ~Phil

20 Comments

Posted in Current Events, Humor

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Thank You

Posted on November 24, 2016 | 18 comments

In the United States we’re celebrating the holiday of Thanksgiving today. Most get together with family and talk about what they’re thankful for over a meal of turkey.

Usually I post a list of unusual things I’m thankful for. This year instead of trying to be funny, I’m going to try to be sincere. The past twelve months has been one of the most challenging years of my life. Things are settling down for me, and when I look back on the past year and look at my blog stats, all of you have been here for me every day. I look at my blog, likes, comments and stats every day. I’ve been blogging since 2005. I don’t know how not to think about my blog for even a day.

"Thank you for your support"

“Thank you for your support”

I try to be creative when I write for my blog. I try to look at every day things  from a different, funny angle. For me that takes a certain kind of positive emotional energy. Over the past year I haven’t always had that kind of energy. I haven’t posted as often, or I’ve leaned on re-posting old blog posts that are timely. Also, I haven’t been out and about in the blogosphere visiting your blogs and liking and commenting as often as in past years. I’m sorry for that, especially because over the past year you’ve given me more than I’ve been able to reciprocate. I want to say a sincere thank you to each and every one of you who has visited my blog, even if it was only once, to leave a comment or a like. Your humor and uplifting spirit has kept me aloft and kept me coming back here every day. Thank you and have a happy Thanksgiving, even if you’re in Canada, the U.K., Europe or anywhere else. Or, if you remember 80’s pop culture, as Bartles & Jaymes always said, “Thank you for your support.”

Sincerely,

Phil

18 Comments

Posted in Holidays, Uncategorized

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Throwback Thursday! Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

Posted on November 27, 2014 | 19 comments

This is my Thanksgiving post from last year, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Instead of a numbered list I just did some free style word association and this is what came out of my head unfiltered.

(11/28/13) Some people sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and spew meaningless platitudes about what they are thankful for. Some even blog their meaningless platitudes. I wonder if there are platypus platitudes? I’m pretty sure platypuses, or is it platypi, are not thankful for their duck bills. All the other beavers must tease them terribly about that. Platypuses are from Australia, but the picture below is from Canada.com . That doesn’t surprise me. Platypuses seem like the kind of animal they’d have in Canada doesn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I love Canadians, but everything up there is just a little off. That’s why the platypi would fit right in. I have to say though, I’ve never met a Canadian I didn’t like. Or a platypus for that matter.

platy456f

Ok, so far I’m thankful for platypi and Canadians. Like I said,  no meaningless, redundant, obvious platitudes for me.  I’m going to come up with some brilliant stuff off the cuff right now. So sit back and get ready to be dazzled by my pithiness. No, I didn’t say ‘bedazzled’. I said “be dazzled”, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with bedazzling. Without it my wardrobe would lack pizzazz. I like the word pizzazz because it reminds me of pizza, which is what I think should really be served on Thanksgiving.  To be honest, I thought I was making up the word pithiness too, but when the spell-check didn’t flag it I was pleasantly surprised, but also disappointed that I couldn’t take credit for inventing a word.

Ok, moving on, so far off the top of my head I’m thankful for platypuses, Canada, the Bedazzler, and spell-check. Oh, and pizza. I’m always thankful for pizza.

bedazzled

Trying to find pictures of men’s bedazzled jeans I also learned that Bedazzled was also a movie starring Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley. Who knew?

bedazzled movie

Lastly, I’d like to say that I am thankful for you, the people that read and like or comment on my blog and who read my books and give wonderful reviews on Amazon. Without your kindness my life would be missing something. Whether you’re from the United States or not, Happy Thanksgiving from me and all the staff here at #ThePhilFactor. If you’re not in the States have a Happy Thursday! Feel free to fill my comments with things you’re thankful for!

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Posted in Humor, pop culture, Throwback Thursdays

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Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

Posted on November 25, 2014 | 19 comments
themetapicture.com

themetapicture.com

With the American holiday of Thanksgiving upon us later this week it’s time to think about what we’re thankful for. Sure, it would be easy to say family, health, friends etc. That’s easy and obvious. Of course we’re all thankful for those things. I want to get to the other things we’re thankful for; the unusual, quirky little things that make our life bearable. Here’s my top ten for this year:

10. England: I’m half English, but having grown up in America I had no strong affiliation or identity with the homeland of my ancestors. This year, however, in anticipation of a work trip to London, I immersed myself in English culture the only way I knew how: by watching British TV shows on Netflix and Hulu. The British are very funny.

keep-calm-and-phil-factor-on-2

9. Netflix and Hulu: Duh! How did you not see this coming? TV shows with few if any commercials? Best invention since TV shows with commercials.

8. Keurig: I can have a cup of coffee within 60 seconds of waking up? Yes please!

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7. Wi-Fi: When I’m elected President, or Sexiest Man Alive, whichever comes first, I will decree that free wi-fi be available everywhere. Everywhere. I will herd all the worlds wi-fi experts into a room and not let them out until they develop a plan to use satellites to create world-wide wi-fi.

6. The funny shaped neck pillows: It may seem odd and goofy, but I’m telling you, whether you have any neck issues or not, get one of these pillows. It will feel odd at first, but once you get used to them you’ll never go back to ordinary pillows,

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5. Amazon: The website, not the rainforest. I’m sure the Amazon rainforest is pretty cool and all, what with all that oxygen it produces. That’s just air. The rainforest isn’t going to deliver me whatever I want within 48 hours. I like Amazon so much I’ve tried to look up job opportunities with them. Oh, by the way, you can get my books in both paperback and e-book editions on Amazon.  (they’d make great Christmas or Hanukkah gifts)

4. Thanksgiving is only one day: Yes, I’m thankful Thanksgiving is only one day. Heck, I’d be ecstatic if it was only one hour. At least it doesn’t get a whole month. Thanksgiving is not that great of a holiday. If the main meal were pizza however, it would be my favorite holiday.

3. I don’t live in Buffalo, N.Y.: Buffalo got 7 feet, over 2 metres, of snow last week. It’s been on the news constantly. Hey everybody, guess what? You live in Buffalo! It snows a lot there. I’m pretty sure that fact isn’t a surprise to anyone. You don’t hear people who moved to the desert complaining about the heat do you? If you don’t like snow don’t live there!

6dd8d333429e5b76ffbc13b9b9f42b4a

2. Wegmans: The world’s best supermarket. Native to western New York but slowly spreading. The picture above applies to both Buffalo and Wegmans. Look, I know some of you will say that your local supermarket is the best. Trust me on this. It’s not. You need a Wegmans. Where I live you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a Wegmans and that’s just the way we like it.

1. Blogging: Yes, this may seem corny and obvious, but I love the blogosphere. Through reading little slices of peoples lives I’ve traveled the world and learned things I might never have known. Thank you to all my blogging friends. I like some of you more than some people I know in real life. In 5 months my blog will be ten years old and I expect it’ll still be around ten years from now.

In the comments please add your unusual things that you’re thankful for. As always, if you enjoy what you read at #ThePhilFactor please share by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog buttons below. Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

19 Comments

Posted in Humor, Top Ten

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Unusual Things I’m Thankful For

Posted on November 28, 2013 | 4 comments

Some people sit down to Thanksgiving dinner and spew meaningless platitudes about what they are thankful for. Some even blog their meaningless platitudes. I wonder if there are platypus platitudes? I’m pretty sure platypuses, or is it platypi, are not thankful for their duck bills. All the other beavers must tease them terribly about that. Platypuses are from Australia, but the picture below is from Canada.com . That doesn’t surprise me. Platypuses seem like the kind of animal they’d have in Canada doesn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I love Canadians, but everything up there is just a little off. That’s why the platypi would fit right in. I have to say though, I’ve never met a Canadian I didn’t like. Or a platypus for that matter.

platy456f

Ok, so far I’m thankful for platypi and Canadians. Like I said,  no meaningless, redundant, obvious platitudes for me.  I’m going to come up with some brilliant stuff off the cuff right now. So sit back and get ready to be dazzled by my pithiness. No, I didn’t say ‘bedazzled’. I said “be dazzled”, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with bedazzling. Without it my wardrobe would lack pizzazz. I like the word pizzazz because it reminds me of pizza, which is what I think should really be served on Thanksgiving.  To be honest, I thought I was making up the word pithiness too, but when the spell-check didn’t flag it I was pleasantly surprised, but also disappointed that I couldn’t take credit for inventing a word.

Ok, moving on, so far off the top of my head I’m thankful for platypuses, Canada, the Bedazzler, and spell-check. Oh, and pizza. I’m always thankful for pizza.

bedazzled

Trying to find pictures of men’s bedazzled jeans I also learned that Bedazzled was also a movie starring Brendan Fraser and Elizabeth Hurley. Who knew?

bedazzled movie

Lastly, I’d like to say that I am thankful for you, the people that read and like or comment on my blog and who read my books and give wonderful reviews on Amazon. Without your kindness my life would be missing something. Whether you’re from the United States or not, Happy Thanksgiving from me and all the staff here at #ThePhilFactor. What are you thankful for?

4 Comments

Posted in Humor

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