Category Archives: movie

The 3rd Annual Snap Judgement Oscar Awards!


For the third year in a row I’m handing out my own Oscars using the kind of idiotic rationale we all use to choose the movies we go see. Half-assed and uninformed, The Snap Judgement Oscar Awards have been one of my more popular posts the last two years. Feel free to chip in with your opinions in the comments. The more the merrier!


Actress in a Supporting Role: The nominees are Jennifer Jason Lee, Rooney Mara, Rachel McAdams, Alicia Vikander, and Kate Winslet. Jennifer Jason Lee is ruled out because she has three names and two of them are men’s. It’s like her name is half of the Brady Bunch. Can’t you just hear Carol Brady calling them down to dinner? “Jennifer, Jason, Lee, time for dinner! Wash your hands first!” I almost picked Rooney Mara because she’s related to two families that own football teams, and I like football. But…drumroll please! The 2016 Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actress is Rachel McAdams because she is still one of the cutest women ever created.


Actor in a Supporting Role: The nominees areChristian Bale, Tom Hardy, Mark Ruffalo, Mark Rylance and Sylvester Stallone. Sly Stallone is immediately ruled out because I heard once that he doesn’t allow his household staff to look him in the eye. Christian Bale is out because I hated his stupid Batman voice. Tom Hardy gets consideration because when I was a kid I read all the books about he and his brother solving mysteries. Never heard of Mark Rylance. The Snap Judgement Oscar for Supporting Actor goes to Mark Ruffalo because I like him as Dylan Rhodes in 2013’s Now You See Mea surprisingly fun movie with a great surprise ending.

Actress in a Leading Role: The nominees are Cate Blanchett, (already ruled out because she seems kind of snooty), Brie Larson, being named after cheese is a good start, Jennifer Lawrence, (the three time winner of the Hunger Games already has enough hardware), Charlotte Rampling, (interesting name is points in her favor), Saoirse Ronan, who is disqualified because no one can pronounce her first name. The Oscar for Best Actress goes to…Scarlett Johanssen in Avengers because she can rock a leather jumpsuit like nobody’s business.


Actor in a Leading Role: Bryan Cranston, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Michael Fassbender, and Eddie Redmayne. Eddie is ruled out because of his weird name. Same goes for Fassbender. Damon seems to get lost in every movie, so he doesn’t need an Oscar for playing the same character again. DiCaprio? Sure, great actor. So great that he doesn’t need a trophy to validate him. The Snap Judgement Oscar for Best Leading Actor goes to Bryan Cranston for his role as the dad in Malcolm in the Middle. He was hilarious. I think he may have a future in acting. BTW, whatever happened to Frankie Muniz?

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Best Picture: The nominees are: The Big Short, Bridge of Spies, Brooklyn, Mad Max, Bring Him Home, The Revenant, Room, and Spotlight. The Big Short is out because the title is an oxymoron and they crammed the movie full of great actors in an obvious bid to get the Oscar. Bridge of Spies? It’s hard to root against Tom Hanks. Brooklyn? It’s not even the best borough in New York, so it can’t be the best movie. Mad Max? Are you kidding me? I couldn’t sit through a commercial about that crappy Comic-Con wanna-be costumed freak show, much less two hours. The Martian? Do we need to bring him home? Haven’t we seen enough Matt Damon movies? Room? That doesn’t sound exciting. I’ve got lots of rooms. Spotlight is tempting because Mark Ruffalo is in it and he played a great Hulk. The 2016 Snap Judgement Oscar Award goes to…Jurassic World starring Chris Pratt. Best 3-D effects I’ve ever seen. All movies should be in 3-D and I’m happy to pay for the extra D every time.


So what do you think? Do you agree with my choices? What are your choices? And please include your idiotic rationale in the comments. Have a great weekend! ~Phil

What’s Your Pick for Worst Movie? The Friday Poll

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This Sunday is The Academy Awards. Picking best picture is boring because the award never goes to movies that normal people would see. So let’s vote for the worst movie of 2015 because those are the movies more likely to be watched by uneducated heathens like us. The nominees for Worst Picture of 2015 come from Rolling Stone’s list of the ten worst pictures.

Have a great Friday! ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! Ten Movies I’d Give An Oscar To


Five days from now a bunch of Hollywood types will gather somewhere in Los Angeles to pat themselves on the back until all their arms break and the television audience falls asleep. Lost in all the ridiculous boredom will be the fact that they are giving all the awards to all the wrong movies. Here are ten movies from various years that I believe deserved an Oscar:

10: Star Wars: Only the original will do. Sequels? we don’t need no stinkin’ sequels! This one wins the Oscar for coolest sci-fi effects a little kid has ever seen.

9. Men in Black: If you haven’t seen Men in Black III you should. It’s a nice wrap up to the series.

8. Deadpool: Yeah, I know it just came out two weeks ago, but it is by far the funniest movie I’ve seen in a long time.


7. Nothing in Common: An early Tom Hanks classic. Last movie that Jackie Gleason ever madeA great romantic comedy that nobody but me remembers.

6. Summer School: This is one of those shut off your brain and enjoy mindless comedies. Starring Mark Harmon, Kirstie Allie and Courtney Thorne-Smith.

5. The Hangover: This one should stand the test of time as one of the best comedies ever.

4. Toy Story: This gets the nod here over Toy Story 3 because it was the original. Toy Story 3 has more humor for adults.


3. Zombieland: A funny, cool zombie movie. If the Walking Dead was half as good as this movie I’d watch it. Walking Dead could also use a hilarious Bill Murray cameo like Zombieland.

2. The ‘Burbs: Evil neighbors? I’m pretty sure if I were a movie character I’d be Tom Hanks friend from this movie. Trust me. Go watch it.


1. The Princess Bride: I think this movie spawned more funny quotes that we remember than any other.

Yes, I realize that most of these are ridiculous choices, but they’re some of my favorite movies ever. What are your favorite movies that you’d give Oscars to if it was up to you? C’mon, don’t let me down! Let me hear your choices in the comments.

Movie Review: Deadpool


Despite my son being 18 years old, he still likes to go to movies with his dad. Or maybe he likes when his dad pays for him to go to the movies. And buys him the Texas-sized bucket of popcorn and a soda pop that he could swim in. This time I bought tickets and the aforementioned snacks for he and his girlfriend. And it was so worth it. Don’t worry, there’s no spoilers here.

It’s perfectly appropriate for me to do a Deadpool review on Valentine’s Day because it’s a love story. Yes, Deadpool is a superhero movie, kind of. If you enjoyed the Batman, Spider-man and other comic based superhero franchise movies that took themselves waaaay too seriously over the last twenty years, then buckle up buttercup because this isn’t that kind of movie. I kind of like that last line I wrote. I think Deadpool would like it too, except he would probably say, “Then buckle the f–k up buttercup because this isn’t that kind of movie.” And he’d look into the camera and say it to you.


In the past Ryan Reynolds has been panned for his abundance of good looks but dearth of acting ability. In Deadpool he has found his acting sweet spot. He plays a down-on-his-luck, snarky, sarcastic, irreverent, foul-mouthed “superhero.” And he plays it brilliantly. I have to give credit where credit is due, and that goes to the writers of Deadpool, and to Stan Lee, who allows his comic book franchise to grab pop culture by the balls and announce his presence. Deadpool’s, not Stan’s. (Make sure to keep your eyes open for Stan Lee’s usual cameo as he does in all Marvel comic based movies)


Deadpool has been a cult/underground sensation since the launch of his comic book in 1997, but after this film brings his character into the mainstream his popularity will reach Spider-Man/Batman heights, at least at the box office. In dollars, the movie had the biggest opening of any R rated movie ever.

Unlike superhero movies of the last twenty years, Deadpool has an R rating and it earned it. There’s language  and jokes that would make Quentin Tarantino blush, and speaking of Quentin, I think he’d love this movie. There’s lots of killing and lots of blood. There’s also some nudity, but it is of course very artistic and integral to the plot.  So yes, Deadpool may be a superhero, but he’s not your father’s superhero.

For you parents who might consider going, the humor isn’t just crude jokes. There’s plenty of clever pop-culture references to the 80’s and 90’s that you’ll appreciate. There was a few so relevant to previous decades that I didn’t think my 18 year old would get them. Also, DO NOT leave as soon as the credits start rolling, and DO NOT leave when the first initial set of credits are done. Wait until the end of all the credits. Trust me. And trust me on this: if you go in skeptical you’ll come out laughing.

Have a great Valentine’s Day! ~Phil

Snap Judgement Holiday Movie Reviews!

I continue my well received pantheon of “Snap Judgement” columns by reviewing the years top holiday movies that I haven’t seen yet:

Picture courtesy of Disney/Pixar

Picture courtesy of Disney/Pixar

The Good Dinosaur: If you’ve got kids under 10, this is a must see. If you’ve got kids over 10, don’t bother. You’ve seen this before in the form of twelve other Disney movies with the same theme. This is basically Finding Nemo but on land.  It’s got an all star cast of voices, but who really cares? You don’t actually see them. Why doesn’t the studio just find some no name voice actors who can sound like celebrities but cost the studio half as much and pass those savings on to us in the form of cheaper tickets? Parents, get the Finding Nemo dvd in the $5 bin at Walmart, show it to your kids at home and save yourself about $50. I give The Good Dinosaur a 4 out of 10.

Picture courtesy of some movie company I didn't bother to look up

Picture courtesy of some movie company I didn’t bother to look up

The Night Before: What? A Seth Rogen movie about partying? I can’t believe it! Yes, this could have been titled Holidays Meet The Hangover, but who cares? You know exactly what to expect in this movie. That being said, Seth Rogen and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (why do guys hyphenate their last names? Was Joseph Gordon his maiden name?) are always good. As far as sophomoric humor goes, this is the top of the line this year. 7 out of 10.

Picture courtesy of New Line Cinema & Warner Bros.

Picture courtesy of New Line Cinema & Warner Bros.

Creed: Yaaaa! It’s Rocky 17! Yeah, yeah Sylvester. We get it. Have the kid chase some chickens, run up some steps and overcome adversity. However did you come up with such an original premise? Hopefully Sylvester Stallone as the kids trainer will die in the corner during a fight like Mickey in Rocky 2. I’m not sure of the name Mickey or if it happened in Rocky 2, but I don’t care, just like you shouldn’t care about this movie. 2 out of 10.

Picture courtesy the company that made the movie.

Picture courtesy the company that made the movie.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens: Thirty years later Harrison Ford comes back as Han Solo to help defeat some new evil empire. Jeez, I hope they don’t let him fly anything in this movie. Remember his plane crash last March? On a related note, just yesterday Carrie Fisher said that she thinks banning Princess Leia bikini merchandise is “stupid.” No offense to Carrie, but I don’t think she can pull off the bikini look anymore. Spoiler alert: In this one a Stormtrooper just absolutely blows away Jar Jar Binks and Luke Skywalker stops their laser sword battle to thank him. All jokes aside, if you like the Star Wars franchise go see it and bring your Force Awakens action figures for 50% off your ticket. I made that last part up, but you dorks can go try it. Who knows? 8 out of 10.

Have a great weekend everybody. Just don’t tell the movie companies about my reviews so I don’t have to spend the holiday season n court. ~Phil

Top Ten Tuesday! The Ten Scariest Movies of All Time

Feeling in the mood for some Halloween scares? Check out the movies on this list, created from a painstaking culling of countless online lists of scary movies. These are the ten that appeared most often on most of the lists.


10. Psycho (1960) Believe it or not, this one almost didn’t make the list. This is a classic that has spawned countless imitations.


9. Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922) This intrigued me by appearing on a few lists. I can’t even imagine what they found scary in 1922.


8. Halloween (1978) Although Mike Myers later went on to bigger fame and fortune on Saturday Night Live and Wayne’s World, this movie has stood the test of time.

7. The Omen (1976) I never saw this, but of it’s got Gregory Peck it must be good. I hope it has Boo Radley too.


6. The Exorcist (1973) Talk about an ugly duckling! She later went on to become Miss Nevada. First time I saw this I was completely freaked out. me and my friends didn’t sleep all night. At the time I was also sure that a film like this would never be allowed in Canada.

5. Rosemary’s Baby (1968) I’m sure this was terrifying for all the old timey folks in 1968. Ironically, Mia Farrow played Rosemary, a woman impregnated by Satan. Many years later the baby she adopted with Woody Allen would later marry Woody Allen. I’m starting to think that Mia isn’t a very good mother.


4. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) I started this series with Part 3 but went back and watched them all. I find a villian who can get you in your dreams to be the scariest of all. Sadly, some idiots made a remake of this in 2010. Did anyone see that? Me neither.

3. The Shining (1980) A cool classic. Nobody plays crazy quite like Jack Nicholson.


2. 28 Days Later (2002) A zombie movie from 2002 before zombies were cool. I haven’t seen this one, but it showed up so regularly in my research I want to see it now.


1. Alien (1979) This one surprised me by being on almost every list. The suspense is painful and who can forget the tag line “In space no one can hear you scream.”

So what’s your favorite scary movie? Do you like being scared? What’s scarier, the books or the movies? What would you add to this list?

Have a great Tuesday! ~Phil

Music Monday! Sharknado!

This song, originally written by Friend of The Phil Factor (FOTPF), Robbie Rist, and remixed by Mike Relm, is your reminder that Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No is on this Wednesday night at 9 pm EST on the SyFy network. It’s a movie so bad it’s good, and it’s as American as apple pie!

Unfortunately I won’t be able to watch Sharknado 3 live because I’ll be at the Alternative Press Music Awards in Cleveland where I’ll be Periscoping live.What’s Periscope? It’s an app that let’s you stream live video to the world wide web in real time from your phone. If you follow me on Twitter you can follow me on Periscope. Even if you don’t want to broadcast yourself, you can watch others.

Have a great Monday! ~Phil

The Offenders: Age of Philtron (What’s Your Superpower?)

Avenger Phil

Last night the new Avengers movie, Age of Ultron, debuted in the United States. It got me to thinking, shocking I know, but I do it sometimes. All boys grow up hoping to have a superpower and become a superhero. Do women ever hope for the same? And if women hope to have superpowers, what kind of powers do they dream of? The new Avengers movie also got me to thinking of what might be some of the worst super powers ever.

For instance, in The Avengers there’s a character called Hawkeye. His alleged “superpower” is being really good at using a bow and arrow. Really? That’s it? Bow and arrow? That’s not a super power; that’s a kid who never stopped playing Robin Hood and defends his choice of wearing tights as a lifestyle decision.

Another character in the Avengers is Black Widow whose only super power is looking hot in a tight leather suit. For this I believe Scarlett Johansson deserves an Academy Award. (That’s an idea for a future Phil Factor, Academy Awards There Should Be. Coming to a blog near you in February 2016!)


Or, if you’re old enough,  you remember the Superfriends show. (The link takes you to the cartoon theme song on YouTube) They had two of the worst superheros ever. Remember Aquaman? How is telepathically talking to fish a super power? For me the only way that’s a super power is if I could command scallops and crab legs to deep fry themselves and then jump on my plate.


Remember though when the Superfriends occasionally would start adding other characters, like the Wonder Twins in the picture above? The two teenagers would put their fists together and yell, “Wonder Twin powers activate!” Then the girl would turn into any animal she chose, like a lion or a gorilla, or if she needed to fly, a hawk. I can see that being a useful superpower. But the boy, his power was to turn into any form of water. Yes, he turned into water. If a mop and a roll of paper towels is your nemesis then you’re pretty much screwed.

The superhero in that group who has the best power is Wonder Woman. She has boobs. Talk about wonder twins! Seeing as there are not a lot of female supervillains and most of the evil doers in movies, tv, and real life are guys, you cannot underestimate the power of boobs. Is the point I’m making here tasteless and obvious? Yes, but is it true? Absolutely. If a bunch of guys are robbing a bank and Wonder Woman walks in flashes her boobs and says “Drop your weapons,” they would all willingly surrender. Scratch that, she should walk in, flash her boobs and yell, “Wonder Twin powers activate!” Ladies, feel free to use that in the bedroom tonight. As long as women use that power for good instead of evil the world will be a better place.

Boys grow up dreaming of being super strong, or fast or being able to fly. Ladies, what do you grow up dreaming of? It can’t all be princesses can it?

There is one superpower that you all have, and that’s the power to make my day by sharing #ThePhilFactor by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sharing button below. Have a great weekend everyone! ~Phil

The 2nd Annual Snap Judgement Oscar Awards

This is my second annual edition of The Snap Judgement Oscar Awards where I give my Oscar Awards based on my own convoluted reasoning without having seen most of the movies. I hope it will eventually become syndicated feature that Entertainment Tonight pays me to do for their website each year and then eventually they’ll invite me into the studio on Oscar night to do a pre-Oscars Snap Judgement Oscar Awards ceremony. I considered giving all the awards to Beyonce just so Kanye wouldn’t storm my blog demanding justice. Without further doo doo, here are The 2015 Snap Judgement Oscar awards!

Best Supporting Actor: This one was easy. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for  Best Supporting Actor goes to J.K. Simmons for his role in WhiplashI didn’t see Whiplash but Simmons is awesome in those Farmers Insurance commercials and played J. Jonah Jameson in the 2002 Spider-Man movie. When you see this guy who doesn’t think, “We are Farmers! Bum de dum dum, bum bum bum”

Picture Credit: BehindThe

Best Supporting Actress: This one was a no brainer too. I didn’t see the movie, but the Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Supporting Actress goes to Kiera Knightly for her role as Benedict Cumberbatch’s girlfriend in The Imitation Game. I heard some guy on the radio talking about how her character balanced  Benedict Cumberbatch’s character by softening and humaninzing him. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. She’s really cute and has a British accent. In my mind that makes her a brilliant actress.

Best Actress: I saw none of the movies in this category but The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actress goes to Rosamund Pike for her role in Gone Girl because she is the only nominee who has a 6 Degrees of Separation/Kevin Bacon-like connection to The Phil Factor.  Rosamund was in Gone Girl with Neil Patrick Harris who is friends with Lori Duron, author of Raising My Rainbow, who once did an interview with The Phil Factor that you can read here. The fact that she has stuck with the idiotic first name of Rosamund almost disqualified her.

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Best Actor: I was tempted to award this to Benedict Cumberbatch for The Imitation Game because I’m a huge Sherlock fan, but, c’mon Benedict! How many times are you going to play a guy with Asperger’s figuring stuff out? Michael Keaton was also a consideration for his scene in the 1988 movie Beetlejuice when he had a tiny head.  Acting with a shrunken head cannot be easy. The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Actor goes to……Andrew Garfield for The Amazing Spider-Man 2. Like all guys, I’m a kid at heart and I grew up reading Spider-Man comics and eagerly anticipating the movies. Garfield pulls this role off with aplomb. He almost didn’t win this award because his hair is just a little too poofy to believably fit under a mask, but I let that slide. Also, parts of the movie were filmed in my hometown, so knowing that Andrew was here gives him the Phil Factor connection that put him over the top.

Picture Credit: SONY Pictures and

Picture Credit: SONY Pictures and

Drumroll please…..The Snap Judgement Oscar Award for Best Picture goes to The Interview! Two pot smoking actors strong arm Sony into making a picture the company didn’t want to do and end up creating an international incident and the most talked about movie of the year. Sounds like a movie plot doesn’t it? How could this not win? It was also the focus of one of the most popular Phil Factor posts of 2014, my fictional interview with North Korean Dictator Kim Jon Un.

Sony Pictures and

Sony Pictures and

As always, if you enjoyed #ThePhilFactor please feel free to share it by hitting the Facebook, Twitter, or re-blog button below. Have a great weekend and enjoy the Oscars! ~ Phil

TBT: The Everyday Oscars!

The Oscars are this Sunday. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll hear my name called. If not, I’ll award myself an Everyday Oscar as I first did when I wrote this post in February of 2011.


Well, it’s happened again. I was passed over. Not a single Oscar nomination. The whole process is completely biased against people like me. Ok, I know that there aren’t really other people like me, but that does not excuse the Hollywood establishments prejudice against me. The Oscars have been handed out longer than I’ve been alive, but not once have I been awarded a gold, phallic statuette. Just because I’m not some kiss-ass Hollywood insider who’s made a movie in the past year, they completely overlook my accomplishments!

It is because of this snub that I refuse to attend the awards ceremony. I do have Oscar-worthy acting talent. So do many of you. Just because our skills don’t appear on the big screen doesn’t mean our talents should go unappreciated! To recognize the acting achievements of everyone like me, I hereby introduce The First Annual Everyday Oscar Awards! I imagine the awards ceremony will go something like this:

MC Phil: “The Everyday Oscar for Best Performance in The Workplace goes to… (fumbling with envelope)… Mark Bingham for his role in “The Overdue Report!” (video clip begins to roll on the monitor).

Mark: “Yes Mr. Whalen, I knew that report was due this morning. I was about to forward it to you when I got the call that my grandmother, the woman who raised me after my parents died, was in a car accident.”

Mr. Whalen: “Is that a Hooters napkin sticking out of your pocket?”

Mark: “Yes it is, sir. The hospital needed two quarts of my blood for the transfusion. They said I should drink lots fluids for the rest of the day. I got a little woozy driving back to the office and I had to pull over.”

MC Phil: “That always brings a tear to my eye. Next up, the Everyday Oscar for Best Relationship Saving Performance goes to… Susan Reynolds for her fantastic performance in “Whose Boxers Are These?” (video clip begins to roll).

Boyfriend: “Heather, I just found these boxer shorts under your side of the bed! They’re not mine! Whose are they?”

Susan: “Awww! You ruined the surprise! I bought them for you, but I got so turned on at the thought of you in them, that I put them on myself and wore them around for a day. Would you like to see me in them?”

Boyfriend: “Are these your skid marks?”

Susan: “Umm…yeah?”

As always, if you get a little laugh out of #ThePhilFactor please share by Facebook, Twitter or reblogging. Have a great Thursday! ~Phil